In our defense, adults are also guilty of this, but regardless of which age you are, it didnât and still doesnât make any sense.
2. “Are you mad?” “I’m not mad but I’m your master”
What did that even mean?
3. “Merry Christmas” “Shame to you”
This probably started as a way of making fun of people who couldnât pronounce âsâ properly. But, really people? No, shame on YOU. Shame. SHAME.
4. “Shut up” “Shut down” OR “Shut up” “Your mouth”
Sometimes they can even add, âShut inâ, âShut outâ, âShut leftâ or âshut rightâ. But why stop there, we could have also added âShut Highwayâ or âShut Campusâ. Oh⌠wait, itâs our ineffective education system that does that one.
5. “Cry cry baby, you want to see your mummy, shame”
Really? Shame? Really? First of all, what if Iâm not crying because I want to see my mummy? Second, even if Iâm crying to see my mummy, why is that shameful? Why is it shame if I want to see my mummy? Iâm pretty sure this was started by all those wicked aunties in kindergarten that carry your food from your lunch box and eat it.
6. “What?” “Water and garri make eba that you’ll eat on your wedding day”
Seriously? Like, seriously? How did wedding day enter now?
7. “Why?” “Because Y has two branches and a long tail”
Oh, you donât mean it! I didnât know it! I would scream, âBut whyyyy???â But I guess we already know the answer to that.
*Sigh* I’m not saying we were stupid when we were younger, but sometimes, the things we used to say and do was just one kind. This post is proof:
5. Reekado Banks did not even want to chill at all.
6. Just because there’s Gold in his name no mean say e papa na king na.
7. That time Asa yabbed GTBank and we were all happy.
The SubDeliveryMan Twitter account is as synonymous with Nigerian Twitter as jollof rice is synonymous with owambe. So when the account was recently suspended, everyone was understandably shocked.
Okay, maybe not everyone sha.
Some people were doing like this:
As if they had just given them fresh jollof rice.
And for all those people that are happy, the not happy ones are now calling them bad belle.
And looking at them one kind.
But you cannot blame them. Now that the account has been suspended, their Twitter subs must be delivered with full chest; and it’s not easy.
Others don’t even understand what all the wahala is about sef.
What's with y'all & SubDeliveryMan? if twitter suspended his account after all the pleadings then we should forget about it and move on. pic.twitter.com/ZuI1isxIAF
— Ofu ji a nâeme offload (@Omezuo1) May 15, 2017
But people aren’t only missing the account for its subs.
Remember when our dear Senator Dino Melaye shocked Nigerians with his singing and choreography skills?
You probably thought he was the only legislator with a future in the entertainment industry when his time chopping Nigeriaâs money is finally over. But you were wrong.
Yesterday, this Ebonyi state lawmaker served some hot dance steps that had us completely shell-shocked.
Like, COMPLETELY.
Maria Ude Nwachi, an Ebonyi State House of Assembly member, posted not one but TWO videos of herself dancing to KCee’s “Talk and Do” on Facebook.
In the video, she’s doing a kind of dance move that looks like what would happen if Michael Jackson ate too much akpu and forgot how to moonwalk.
Then at some point she came so close to the camera like she wanted to fight.
Infact, it’s just better you watch the whole thing yourself.
And just in case you were not completely sure or you had forgotten all about Dino Melaye’s singing and choreographic prowess, here’s a recap:
Based on the responses, we can conclude that regardless of the tribe, Nigerians are just not nice people.
From Yoruba to Igbo to Ibibio insults, here are the seven craziest ones we got:
Wonbiliki wobia!
Baruwa Adetutu Adesola
This is a Yoruba insult for a person that likes food. But is is a crime to like food? Is it?
Oponu po tea
Biya ‘beebee’ Abiola
Itâs a Yoruba insult that means fool. Again, these Yoruba people ehn!
Anu ofia ka gi nma
Zee Ching-yin
An Igbo insult that means, âa useless animal is better than youâ. But, how? How can you even say something like this to someone? How?
Anuofia!!!efulefu!!!
Nwamaka Edith Amadi
Itâs an Igbo insult, but weâre not entirely sure what it means. It sounds very hurtful though. The kind of thing thatâll just make you sit down and think about your life.
Alapa stainless
Omowumi Adeleke
A Yoruba insult that directly translates to âone with a stainless arm/handâ and is used to insult a lazy person. But how do you even use stainless steel to yab somebody sha? How?
Okponu Dokpemu and sule gbefe
Dammie Rhema Ogunjimi
These ones are Yoruba insults which weâre sure in the true fashion of Yoruba insults will just pain you to your chest.
Otoro gba gbue ka gi
Zee Ching-yin
An Igbo insult that means, âmay you die of uncontrollable running stomach.â This one is just harsh. Not nice at all. As in, at all.
Nton mkpo
Bright Udoh
An Ibibio word that means Idiot. If you donât speak Ibibio, youâll be thinking theyâre giving you nickname.
Nkita laâcha ike gi
Zee Ching-yin
An Igbo insult that means, âMay a dog lick your butt.â And I ask once again; But why? Why? Why??
Ebe achi!
Emmanuel Ogwuche
An Idoma insult that means bush meat/foolish person. If you did not know the word, youâll be thinking they want to give you food, not knowing that they are yabbing you.
And now, here’s a post on childhood insults that’ll make you remember the old days.
Wizkid, Nigeria’s Starboy, is making Nigerians do like this:
After he said in an interview that he sometimes does free shows in Nigeria.
It was an inspiring moment for the world, but particularly for Nigerians, when 39 year-old Emmanuel Macron emerged winner of the French Presidential elections.
It was particularly inspiring for Nigerians because it is hard to imagine anyone less than forty ruling our country. Especially as even our constitution requires a Presidential candidate to be 40 years or above to be eligible to contest.
We will need a lot of young ladiesâ at the Lagos youth meet to also treat the assumption by our Constitution the the President must be a HE. pic.twitter.com/i4G7jChvbo
âŚand also, apparently, a candidate must also be male.
But the youth in Nigeria are not sleeping, and if there’s anything we have learnt about the power of young Nigerians, it is that we can do anything we set our minds to.
Here is a list â in no particular order â of 6 Nigerians under 40 who could lead Nigeria if that nonsense forty or over law did not exist:
1. Japheth Omojuwa
This 32 year-old blogger, public speaker, socio-economic and political commentator and social media expert, was also named the most influential young Nigerian way back in 2012, among other accolades and awards. Heâs always on Twitter, openly criticizing the Nigerian government and all its shortcomings. If Nigeria was a fair country, he should have the opportunity to create a party, campaign and maybe even win.
2. Seun Onigbinde
Co-founder and CEO of BudgITÂ Nigeria, his passion to make governance more accountable and transparent has helped foster social change. If this 31 year-old were to be allowed to campaign, how much transparent and accountable do you think his government would be?
3. Ayo Sogunro
This 32 year-old Activist, Lawyer and Writer, is also a Social Entrepreneur. You can find him on Twitter here. His political contributions have inspired many. Imagine how much more he could achieve if given the chance to campaign?
4. Chude Jideonwo
Lawyer, award-winning journalist, media entrepreneur and also co-founder and Managing Partner of Red Africa/The Future Project. This 32 year-old has created an online media dynasty in such a short time, imagine what he could do with Nigeria if the âogas at the topâ will just allow somebody to be great?
5. Aisha Yesufu
She might be over 40, but her dedication and influence in the #BringBackOurGirls campaign in addition to her no-holds-barred approach to speaking the truth has earned her a spot in this list of young Nigerians who would do a spanking job at ruling if given the opportunity. At 43 years-old, she stands for what she believes in and fights for it to the very end, a quality anyone who is thinking of bringing healing to Nigeria as its leader must certainly possess.
6. Bukky Shonibare
Founder of Girl Child Africa, Coordinator of Adopt-A-Camp set up to assist IDPs , CEOÂ of 555 Consulting (HR | Strategy | Dev). She is also a fierce supporter of the #BringBackOurGirls campaign. Bukky Shonibare is force to reckon with, and at 35 years-old, she is one young female under 40 we know would carry Nigeria on her shoulders to see the country reach greatness; if all those bad belle people were no longer there.
