Nollywood has come a really long way, and that is greatly due to the amazing work of some iconic actors and actresses. We grew up with these stars, and we absolutely love and appreciate their work. Keeping up with them, we look at where some of them are now.
Clarion Chukwurah
If you ever watched Nollywood movies back in the day, there’s no way you don’t know the beautiful Clarion Chukwurah. Always playing interesting and daring roles, the award-winning actress who is also the mother of popular music video director Clarence Peters, is currently living her best life in the United States, doing great humanitarian work.
Richard Mofe-Damijo
Ah, RMD… Nollywood’s Denzel Washington. He’s a handsome award-winning actor and former Delta State Commissioner for Culture and Tourism. He’s still acting and on our screens, much to our delight.
Eucharia Anunobi
You can’t not know Eucharia. Her roles were so daring and exciting! She’s a true screen goddess. The beautiful actress is now a pastor at a church in Egbeda, Lagos.
Saint Obi
You should know this name, as well as the face. Obinna Nwafor, who is more popularly known as Saint Obi, is one of those Nigerian actors that you just had to look out for back in the day. He was in everything! Lucky for us, even though his main focus now is business, he still graces our screens.
Liz Benson
Another absolutely beautiful screen goddess, Elizabeth Benson is also a philanthropist, but best of all, she still acts!
Pete Edochie
Chief Pete Edochie is an award-winning actor, considered one of Africa’s most talented, and one of Nigeria’s favourites, despite his many roles as a wicked/evil man. He has given us many funny quotes and memes, and we absolutely love him! Although he no longer acts like before, we’re quite happy to know that he’s alive and doing well.
Patience Ozokwor
Patience Ozokwor is a musician, fashion designer, gospel singer and award-winning actress. Like Pete Edochie, she has played a lot of wicked/evil roles, but we still love her like that! She’s an evangelist now, but she still acts, to our great delight. She’s definitely one of Nigeria’s most talented actresses.
Sam Dede
Sam Dede is an award-winning actor, director, politician and lecturer. He has starred in such iconic movies as Issakaba and Igodo, so you just know that this man was badass back in the day! He is currently a senior lecturer of Theatre Arts at the University of Port Harcourt but still acts from time to time, and is doing quite well.
Regina Askia
When you think of Regina Askia-Williams, I’m sure stunning beauty first comes to mind. An ex-beauty queen, Regina shot to fame as the Most Beautiful Girl In Nigeria in 1989, then went on to become an award-winning actress. She is now a family nurse practitioner in the US, a healthcare and educational activist, television producer, writer, and public speaker.
Zack Orji
Zachee Ama Orji was one of the ultimate baby boys that year. He is an award-winning actor, director, producer and filmmaker, as well as a pastor. He still graces our screens, and is even better than before!
Ever see a picture like this and think to yourself ‘I just can’t wait to have my own baby’.
Well, the next time one of these kind of pictures comes your way, these ten things will make you close your eyes.
First of all cerelac is expensive.
You yourself are you eating three times a day, yet you want to go and look for another mouth to feed.
Pampers is also expensive and you can use up to ten in one day.
Let’s even forget the price for a second first. Imagine having to look at, smell and change this all day every day.
From socks to baby stroller there is nothing that’s not expensive.
So take a look at your account balance are you really ready for a baby?
Can you even afford school fees?
Sit down and do the maths well. You’ll pay school fees for nursery school, primary school, secondary school, university and maybe even masters. Can you really afford it?
Sleep will become a thing of the past.
You’ll be lucky if you even get up to 4 hours a night.
If your house used to look like this before.
All clean and sparkling.
From the moment you have a baby this is how it’ll start looking.
Don’t even bother trying to do something about it, nothing will work.
What of all those night outs with friends?
Dead and gone. You are back to being a teenager with a curfew.
Before you have your own baby spend the whole day with someone else’s child.
Remember that feeling of relief you had when you returned the baby to its owner? Yeah, you’ll never have that again. There is nobody to return anything to.
Ever seen a birthing video before?
Please go and watch one then come back and tell us if you still want to have a baby.
Now that you are done with this list do you still want a baby?
Yeah, we didn’t think so.
If you live in Lagos or have paid even just a visit, you should know Lagos traffic well.
You just have to eat to distract yourself from the fact that you’re about to die in traffic. Here are some of the things Nigerians have come to recognise as traffic food.
Gala and La Casera
This is a timeless classic. For as long as I can remember, this has been the go-to. Delicious, filling and sooo refreshing especially when the LaCasera is cold, you can’t go wrong with this one.
Puff-Puff/Egg roll and Coke
You smell before you even see these. Some sweet angels display these delicious pastries in show-glasses. Even if you weren’t hungry before, you just might start starving. Wash it down with some chilled Coke and feel alright.
Pure Bliss and Hollandia Yoghurt
This is just pure milky goodness. A drug.
Plantain Chips and Fanta/Coke
Sweet and spicy, salty or plain, I really don’t see how you can go wrong with plantain chips. When you see this guy, just wind your window down and start shouting. This goes with pretty much any drink, to be honest.
Cashew/groundnuts/walnuts and Fanta
And if you’re not famished but only feeling a little peckish, these delicious and nutritious nuts have come to save you! Look around for your favourite drink, and you’re good to go… or not. There’s probably still traffic.
Boli and Groundnuts with Lucozade Boost
Plantain again! See, not all heroes wear capes. This is a delicious hero. Hot, fresh and filling, your mood will just elevate. Make sure you buy enough o! Just add Lucozade to boost your morale.
Corn and coconut with water
Boli and groundnuts’ brother that couldn’t attain the same greatness, corn and coconut can’t even be slept on. Boiled or roasted, this is always a good (healthy too) choice. Drink cold water, and you will just relax.
Popcorn and Fanta
Lagos traffic is always a movie, so trust me, the popcorn is going to come in handy. Just wash it down with Fanta to calm your navs.
Fruit and water
And for my fitfam, you can buy all sorts of fruit in traffic. From pineapples and pawpaws to apples and bananas, Lagos traffic has got it all trust me.
Politics in Nigeria is forever a source of humour for us. With the likes of Dino Melaye occupying seats of power, it’s a wonder this country is still running. When it comes to Nigerian politics and humour though, one of the funniest things we’ve come across in a while are these political party logos:
Abundant Nigeria Renewal Party (ANRP)
We tried our hardest to decipher this logo but we still have so many questions. Why is a plant growing out of the laptop? Why is the laptop in a map of Nigeria?
Sustainable National Party (SNP)
We thought very hard about it and we couldn’t come up with a single reason a bell will be used as a party logo. Must be closing time.
United Democratic Party
There’s nothing you want to tell us. Whoever came up with this logo just went home and told their child to draw anything on paper then used it as party logo.
Peoples Democratic Movement (PDM)
Please, what’s the torchlight for? Is it to remind us that there is no light in Nigeria? Are they trying to shine a light on Nigeria? What does it mean?
All Progressives Grand Alliance (APGA)
We know how much Nigerians love anything that signifies enjoyment but we don’t understand what a chicken is looking for on a political party’s logo.
All Progressives Congress (APC)
We’ve always wondered what APC’s broom signified. Over the last three years, we’ve discovered that their plan is to sweep all Nigerians out of the country. How else will you explain the rate at which Nigerians are leaving the country under this government?
National Conscience Party
We don’t know which is funnier, the name of this political party or the logo. As if any Nigerian politician has a conscience. If you don’t close your eyes there.
Socialist Party of Nigeria (SPN)
No political party logo vexed us as much as this one. Where is the light to put on the light bulb? They should have just put a generator next to it so we know they are serious.
Re-build Nigeria Party (RBNP)
We are willing to bet this month’s salary that this logo was picked out of one of those old Macmillan textbooks.
Fresh Democratic Party (FDP)
What does the clock signify? Why is the time at 8 o’clock? Was that the exact time Okotie had his vision of becoming the president of Nigeria?
New Generation Party of Nigeria (NGP)
This is how you know the people who don’t want us to progress. 2018 but you don’t want us to be using AC to cool ourselves. We should still be using hand fan?
In the end —all these parties, relevant or not, ugly logos or not, the one thing that gets to decide whether or not we keep them or kick them, is getting your PVC. If you still haven’t gotten yours, do you really want Nigeria to be better? If you are confused as to how to go about it then check out our handy guide to getting your PVC here.
Dino Melaye – you must have heard of him if you’re Nigerian. Or even if you’re not, because he’s that big of a star. Still, let me give you a brief introduction. He’s a Nigerian senator, an accomplished actor and musician, as well as the ultimate baby boy. Here’s just a few of Dino’s most iconic moments.
Just look at that smize! This is the level of baby boy I aspire to.
Ajekun iya ni’oje
Ah… This one is a classic. No Dino Melaye story can be told without adding his rather iconic diss song to Kogi State governor Yahaya Bello, after it was confirmed that he is indeed, educated. The details of their battle might be fuzzy, but this song is evergreen to us.
His entire music career.
Just in case y’all didn’t know, Dino officially entered the music scene not when he performed ‘Ajekun Iya’ live, but when he appeared in the music video…of a hit song about himself! You can’t tell me nothing – he’s living his best life.
Showing up in a stretcher to court.
Moving on from music, Dino has also tried his hand at acting. This was originally his true love, and he has a few acting credits under his Gucci belt. One of his most famous and challenging roles was when he abandoned his fleet of exotic foreign cars, and pulled up to an Abuja court on a stretcher for allegedly breaking the windshield of a police vehicle and threatening to kill himself. A revolutionary.
Jean-Claude Melaye.
The action hero none of us realized we needed, Dino actually performs his own stunts. He was arrested in Abuja in connection to a murder case and other criminal activities, and apparently assumed he would be interrogated there. However, the police had a few tricks up their sleeves and started heading towards Kogi State. Terrified of what awaited him, Dino took a leap of faith out of the moving police vehicle.
The Nightcrawler.
Call me naive, but you tell me how else someone whose passport was supposedly seized could leave Nigeria and mysteriously appear in the abroad. I choose to believe he’s actually Nightcrawler because it makes no sense. Baba actually posted this picture with his chest, with the caption “Happy to be away from the joke going on in Naija today.” as his caption to really pepper Nigeria. Teach us your ways, sir.
THIS outfit!
Dino’s sense of style is just as vibrant as his personality. He is truly a style icon of our time. Dino actually broke the internet this day that he stepped out in designer, looking like the African Red Ranger.
A ladies’ man.
Although Dino has not been known for his empowerment of the Nigerian woman, he came to our defense like the knight in shining armor that he’s really not, when he went on a really shady rant on the Senate floor. Perhaps guilt-triggered by the former Edo State governor’s appeal to support more made-in-Nigeria products, Dino infamously asked Nigerians to ignore the governor, whom he said chose not to “patronise ‘made-in-Nigeria women but a foreign one”, referring to Oshiomole’s Cape Verdean wife. Yikes.
No vex, na God.
At the end of the day, you can’t even vex for Dino and his antics, because last last, na God.
If you are anything like us and you lack self-control and home training then your June salary has probably finished and you are currently going through these struggles with us.
They just paid salary last week but your account balance is confusing you.
Wait but did someone rob me?
This is you trying to calculate how you are going to feed for the month of July after looking at your account balance.
This is the perfect month to start 30 days dry fast.
You start thinking back to how you were flexing like there was no tomorrow during salary week.
Yours is now a case of had I known.
As you are trying to calculate how you’ll find money to pay your NEPA bill one family member calls you to remind you to send something for the month.
It’s a little too late for that.
You start to notice that any small thing suddenly makes you unnecessarily angry.
Your colleague will tell you good morning and you’ll ask them what’s good about the morning.
You start counting down again to salary week and wonder why the days are going by so slow.
Time moves slower when you are broke – Albert Einstein
Your taste in things will suddenly drop. You’ll start buying puff puff instead of pancakes.
You’ll start to realize that you actually like cooking and you don’t even like eating out like that. Who knew.
You’ll suddenly remember all the people that are owing you money and start hitting them up.
It’s time to collect your money back from that your colleague that needed 200 naira change for bus. Abi did he think it was dash?
You’ll start appreciating the little things like the fact there’s water dispenser in your office or your parents live an hour away so you can go and beg for food.
Isn’t the Lord good?
You also start to seriously rethink your priorities in life.
Do you really need to pay for internet this month? Shebi office WiFi is there?
Long story short, July is about to be a very difficult month but we are here to tell you that last last you won’t sha die before they pay your July salary.
Stay strong.
You’ll never be exposed to a crowd of people as diverse as those you’ll meet in NYSC camp. Although the living conditions are appalling these people almost make the whole experience worth it.
There are the ones who just came back from the overseas and will start stressing everybody with ‘that’s not how we did thing in the States’ and accent.
Even the ones who went to Cotonou will have British accent.
There are the ones who were only interested in getting exeat so that they could go home.
They didn’t come to suffer with you commoners.
The ones who just came to drink their destinies away at mammy market.
But on a serious note, they might have actually needed professional help.
Then there were the ones who belonged to the school of hard knacks and only came to have as much sex as they could.
It’s just three weeks, it’s that how the konji is doing you?
The ITKs that were always volunteering for everything.
They didn’t rest until they became platoon leader.
The ‘do you know who my father is’ people?
If you don’t geddifok out of here.
The ones who were somehow so excited to be in camp.
Have you seen the toilets? What’s making you happy?
We can’t leave out all those promise and fail soldiers.
The ones that’ll tell you don’t worry if you march well you’ll get posted to the capital and you ended up getting posted to a village without light.
The ones who were only there for the food.
All the food sellers at mammy market knew them.
The ones you are pretty sure were old enough to have been in the first ever batch of NYSC.
They might have even been your father’s age mate.
The ones whose life mission was to never step foot on the parade ground.
They did whatever it took and were always in the clinic.
There was the friendly soldier everyone liked.
They didn’t have any wahala.
And the one who was only interested in making people miserable.
But who offended you?
The ones who came to camp to find love.
And they found it o.
The ones who secured their exeat with doctor’s report as soon as they stepped foot into the camp.
Only you asthma, cancer, bronchitis and HIV. Take your wahala and go.
So who did we leave out and which one were you?
It’s a very sad time on the streets of Nigeria. The roads are silent because the people are quiet.
There is increased tension in the air.
On the 28th of June 2018, in Berger, Lagos, a moving petrol tanker caught fire.
This was due to a brake failure.
The fire outbreak not only affected the tanker.
A large number of cars went down with the tanker.
While some people tried to call for help or jump out as soon as they could.
A lot of lives were lost.
This incident happening just a few days after the Ojuelegba tragedy and the loss of lives in Plateau makes the entire country wonder.
As it can not be asked enough
The Lagos state Government responded to this issue as soon as they could.
But they weren’t fast enough
Situations like this make us question our government even more. Do they really know what the country needs or what’s best for us?
In states like Pennsylvania, these things exist. Why are the vital things not top priority?
An emergency unit should be close to every terminal in a city.
To avoid worst case scenario’s like this.
The whole of Lagos was halted as everywhere was traffic jammed. A lot of us took this opportunity to say a prayer or two for those who passed away.
We hope their hearts light up the Heavens.
And to the families and friends of those affected, our hearts are with you.
We hope you find peace that surpasses everything.
And while we pray, we need to work together to improve our standard of living, and remember to do a very important thing.
Which starts with getting your PVC or finding out how to get it here.
https://getyourpvc.com
Please note.
The Nigeria vs Argentina march was tough for all of us.
We can easily say these are trying times for everyone in Nigeria, feeling everything so deeply you know.
We are all handling the situation differently, but however you are dealing with it, you definitely would have passed through these stages.
If you haven’t, then don’t come to Muritala Muhammed ever.
When that second goal by Rojo entered, you were like,
“This is a joke. I want to see the replay. I want to see the ball actually enter. Is that the side netting? Why are my trying to talk and my voice is not working? What’s going on here? These boys will score, I know it. Look at Ighalo. Is it truly over?” Denial is your name my fren.
When It eventually dawned on you that this was real life and absolutely no miracle could be performed. You were heartbroken.
“Ha my chest! God please do something, please. “They’re not giving us extra time?”
And then you start to watch replays, and listen to analysis, and your blood starts to boil.
This is so stupid, infact this entire World Cup is just annoying. What nonsense?!
THIS REFEREE IS MAD. I BLAME BUHARI. GET YOUR PVC NOW.
Because you saw how much the boys tried and it hurt even more. You try to eat, but food is not entering your mouth.
Grown person like me? Cry because of ball? Wazzaldiz?
After blaming whoever you think deserves to be blamed, you come to the conclusion for the millionth time that there’s nothing you can do but live with it.
Ha! Let’s crack some jokes all over the Internet, shall we?
After all is said and done, you know the Super Eagle’s tried their best and Nigeria is still behind them.
First, we’re going to win the Nations Cup, and we’re going to show them pepper in Qatar 2022.
Did I forget to mention that Senegal is still in the tournament, so we have an African country to support?
My name is Eniola. Al-Hadj Eniola Mane.
Ladies and gentlemen, grab a pen and paper. We’re about to do some serious calculations.
We’re back to using further maths to know whether we are going to qualify. Like we’ve done with everything truly Nigerian.
As we all know, we lost our first match against Croatia, while our boys were dancing shaku-shaku.
But let the past just remain in the past please.
We turned up the heat and destroyed Iceland in our 2nd Game. Melted their ice anyhow.
If you haven’t seen it, we’re seizing your Nigerian passport.
Now, for some reason Argentina’s Mascherano is pretty confident that they’re going to win against Nigeria today.
But he doesn’t know what’s coming yet. He doesn’t know.
Whatever anybody wants to say or do, one thing is for sure; ARGENTINA MUST GO.
Put all of them inside bag, let them be going back home.
If only our twitter prophet predicted this match like he predicted the last one.
Nigeria is going to play Iceland 2-0. At least that’s what my dream said. I’m not sure who won but the same person scored both goals.
