You tell me what other food is this delicious, and versatile. Ewa agoyin with agege bread, plantain, garri, yam…
2. Ekpang nkukwo
Also known as food of the gods, ekpang nkukwo is royal yam pottage. A chief. Chairman, sir.
3. Garri
Garri is a true Nigerian champion. Also known as cassava flakes, this can be drunk, moulded into eba, sprinkled on beans, made into a “cake”… The possibilities are endless.
4. Agege bread
Agege bread is not just any bread. Delicious, stretchy especially when warm, filling, perfect texture… this is the godfather of bread. You can eat it with stew, eggs, beans, peanut butter… you can even eat it alone!
5. Indomie
Indomie is a Nigerian childhood delicacy. You’d think we’d be tired of it by now, but when a food is this versatile and delicious, you eat it forever.
6. Tuwo shinkafa
A lot of you don’t know the wonder that is tuwo shinkafa, and that is entirely your fault. Aswearrugad, this food doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.
7. Roasted yam and pepper sauce
A lot of us just walk past these people selling roasted yam, not realising the wonder we’re ignoring. I used to be like that too, until God opened my eyes and mouth.
8. Nigerian party Jollof rice
Call it by the right name. This can never be overrated or even appropriately rated, so don’t even argue. King J.
What underrated Nigerian food did I miss on this list?
We can all say that Croatia played the game of their lives against France. But the thing about football is this;
If you like play with your heart and soul, if the ball doesn’t enter the post, there’s no point.
So, Croatia might have played a great game, but France scored more goals. Now, what I have to say might sound a bit wild.
But I want to point out the fact that France didn’t really win the World Cup.
When half of your team consists of Africans, who does the cup really go to? Be honest o.
Africa? Yes! Africa. All of us.
I could decide to give an analysis of every single African player on that team.
But we are going to sleep here. I promise you.
The most important thing you need to know is that from Mbappe to Pogba to Kante and Lemar, Mendy, Matuidi, Rami, Umtiti, Mendy, N’zozi, and many others are all Africans.
Infact, Lemar is half Nigerian. I’m so emotional right now
So we can also say that somehow, Nigeria won this Cup too.
Oh, I’m so proud to be Nigerian.
Infact I’m sure if we dig deep, we would find out that Pelé has African genes somewhere somehow.
Just think about this, what is Pele in Yoruba? I won’t say more than that.
Let me tell you the bitter truth, it’s okay to disagree. But just know that almost every legend in the history of legends comes from some part of Africa.
I can start mentioning names, but I don’t want us to divert.
Let’s place our focus on what is important for today. Africa borrowed France the World Cup.
Not only are we skilled, we are also generous. Wow. A whole continent.
On a serious note, whether we like it or not, Qatar 2022, Nigeria is bringing that cup home. I’m saying it with my chest.
Okay maybe just half of my chest.
I think before we end this, it’s important that we congratulate France properly.
So dear France, congratulations. You have done well.
But if you actually think Africa deserves all the accolades raise your hand.
Now let us know your reason below.
As we await payday and look upon our empty bank accounts, we decided to come up with ten Nigerian songs to add to our playlists to sha comfort ourselves.
Money – M.I.
“Money slow to enter, money quick to go”
One day e go better – Safari
Don’t worry, dry your tears, one day one day e go better.
Money – Timaya ft. Flavour
You might be broke but at least you’ll discover who your true friends are.
Penalty – Small Doctor
“If you no get money hide your face” – Small Doctor, 2017
Rich and Famous – Praiz
Because the struggle is temporary.
Rich – M.I. ft. Koker
Because your situation right now is only temporary last last.
Ojuelegba – Wizkid
Let Wizkid inspire you, the same way he came out of Ojuelegba is the same way you’ll come out of this brokeness.
Fake Love – Wizkid ft. Duncan Mighty
Send this to the love of your life, to remind them that a small thing like lack of money shouldn’t come between your love.
Because we know that this brokeness is only temporary we also added the perfect song to add to your playlist on payday.
Don’t worry you too will be balling from Monday to Sunday soon.
In Nigeria, We don’t celebrate things like Halloween or Friday the 13th, because see, the amount of scary things and bad luck in this country is already enough.
How will I even be celebrating bad thing? God forbid.
It would be nice to explain how and why Friday the 13th is nothing compared to just living in Nigeria everyday of your life.
Friday the 13th ko
You know you have bad luck when you close your eyes on Friday night and just like that, it’s Monday when you wake up!
What did I do to deserve this oh God.
Anyway, You’re up on that monday, rushing to work. “Ojota, yaba, yaba, enter with change o”. You’re in the bus and suddenly, the bus starts shaking, and gbam! it stops.
You’re going to work in legedez benz. Talk about bad luck.
While you are on your walk. From no where, at all, the clouds are getting dark, you start 100m race, but the rain is faster than you.
So you give up and continue a miserable walk in the rain. At least you finally get to the office in wet clothes.
After work, because you don’t want the rain to finish your life again, you take a cab or at least follow your friend who owns a car. Then SARZ stops you.
You know how that story goes.
Let’s talk about the mother of all bad lucks. When your mother tells you to sweep her room, but you’re watching football and forget.
May that not be your portion.
She comes back and meet’s her room unswept. See, just put yourself up for adoption.
because once you hear your name once you are finished. It’s is like a real life horror movie.
“so as we round up, I have to say..” if you’ve never heard a pastor say this, then you don’t go to church. This is a church members worst nightmare because you’re gonna hear it at least 6 more times before church actually ends.
Can I get an Amen?
Now just imagine something happening to our greatest National treasures. Ha! That’s Nigeria’s worst nightmare.
Whatever we all do, we have to join forces to protect Wizkid and Davido, Simple.
Let’s talk about your own personal treasure, you know when your salary finishes 1 week after you collected it. That’s when you know the real meaning of fear.
“hello guy, abeg that 50naira I borrowed you on thursday, please I need it.”
And if you ever want to get your heart broken, just try to check your account balance.
Ha! See, from bad luck to bad mood, to bad day. Everything will just be somehow
Living with a condition called the inability to dance shaku shaku leaves you in fear everyday. Seeing people who are so skilled at the art of shaku shaku showing off everyday.
Oh dear insecurity.
Another really deep fear that scares every Nigerian right now is the possibility of Buhari winning the coming elections again.
God forbid bad thing. But at least you can prevent that by knowing how to get our PVC here.
And the greatest of all these fears is sleeping and waking up and still finding yourself in Nigeria.
“Please let me just go back to sleep. If you wake me up again ehn”
Oh, before I forget, happy Friday the 13th!
Don’t be too scared to tell me what scares you the most about being a Nigerian.
Nigerians love to dance, for sure! From time, we’ve always come up with amazing moves to go with catchy tunes, but I’m going to tell you about some of the most popular ones from say, the last twenty years, and the artists that made them so popular.
Makossa
If you’re Nigerian, you’ve definitely bust this move before. No need to talk too much. This move that Awilo Logomba popularised over Nigeria and other parts of Africa like a virus! You’ll definitely still see a few people do this dance.
Galala
Hoo mai gosh, Daddy Showkey was a beast with the galala! He had everyone and their uncle trying to do it, even though we all knew it was for the more flexible of us. Still, this is another move that still creeps into modern Nigerian dance.
Suo
Suo came in and booted galala out of the game. Popularised by Marvellous Benjy, this move curiously resembles the movement you make when pulling a generator. Anyhow, the song and dance became extremely popular, and live to this day.
Yahoozee
Olu Maintain came with the Yahoozee song and the accompanying dance, and Nigerians went crazy! Although it’s not so popular these days, the dance spread like wildfire.
Alanta
Loool this is actually a dance of madness, and Artquake made sure that Nigerians caught the bug. Moving like you’re putting a fire on your clothes out, this is still done today!
Etighi
Even though Etighi is a traditional dance from the Calabar/Akwa Ibom region of Nigeria, a lot of people didn’t know this until Iyanya came and spread it across Nigeria with his song, Kukere. It burned really brightly but died just as quickly.
Skelewu
Kindly brought to us all by Davido, he taught us how to do this move which quickly caught on, especially because of his similarly titled, catchy song.
Shoki
Lil Kesh really made his mark with this one. This shoki dance and song spread like a viral infection. Still one of the most expressive and creative dances, shoki took over all other Nigerian dance steps.
Shaku Shaku
This one, we’re still in the middle of. Popularised by such songs as ‘Shepeteri’ and ‘Legbegbe’, all you need to be able to do this is a lot of coordination and a lot of creativity. Not much.
No matter what part of Nigeria you went to boarding school, we are pretty sure your dining hall served at least half of these meals.
Yam and Eggs
Yam and eggs were usually served on Saturday or Sunday morning. Remember how sharing the egg used to cause fight? Or how the bowl or cooler would be half filled with eggs and half filled with oil? Then they’ll now serve it with one large slice of yam.
Garri and moin moin
If you didn’t carry extra sugar for your garri from your dorm then you weren’t ready for life. And why was the moin-moin always so small? Did anybody else steal extra moin-moin to go and eat in their dorms later?
Jollof rice and chicken.
Jollof rice and chicken was usually served on Sunday afternoons. Remember how they used to only serve the most miserable parts of the chicken then when there is a special occasion like school anniversary the chicken will miraculously become bigger and spicier. Some schools had Jollof rice and meat instead, then chicken for the special occasions.
Spaghetti and fish stew or noodles
Why did anyone ever think it was a good idea to serve spaghetti or noodles in Nigerian boarding schools? If you went for your meal early and got lucky then it’ll be hot and nice but most of the time the spaghetti or noodles will be cold and clumped together. When it’s not garri cake.
Akara and ogi
Immediately after having this on Saturday or Sunday morning if you didn’t take a long nap then you are not a human being. The days the ogi was watery were the worst.
White rice and stew
This was every boarding school’s favourite weekday lunch. If it wasn’t white rice, stew and meat then it was white rice, stew and fish.
Eba and egusi
The eba will now be stone cold and the egusi will be watery. If you didn’t get served egusi you got served some kind of strange vegetable soup.
Bread and stew
Remember how the stew was supposed to be fish stew but you won’t see any fish you’d only be tasting the fish in the stew. If you were lucky you’ll see one small chunk of fish.
Yam porridge
I don’t know why they used to bother to call it porridge, it was just yam and palm oil garnished with very little vegetable. At least we hope it was vegetable they were using.
Bread and eggs
The bread and egg struggle was too real if you were unlucky you’ll only get the oil at the bottom of the bowl instead of egg. Sometimes instead of fried egg, they’d serve one cold boiled egg.
We know the food struggle was real but who else misses boarding school?
We know we do.
Welcome to this Episode of “This is Nigeria”. Today, we would be placing our focus on our Minister of Finance.
Mrs. Kemi Adeosun
For those who aren’t Nigerians. Let me quickly explain something to you. There is a program called NYSC.
National Youth Service Corps (NYSC)
In Nigeria, after your university education, it is mandatory that you serve your country through this said program.
Without doing this program, you won’t be qualified to get a job or run for political posts.
Now, let me give you a brief history on our Minister of Finance just before we connect the dots to this story.
She went to school in the Polytechnic of East London where she graduated at the age of 22.
She didn’t move back to Nigeria immediately, so obviously she couldn’t serve her country immediately.
Oh, I forgot to mention that as long as you graduate before 30 you are mandated to serve at any time.
She got a job after graduating and changed jobs over 5 times from 1989 when she graduated up until 2000.
Wow, she must be really hardworking.
She moved back to Nigeria in 2002 when she got offered a job in a private company. Finally, she gets a chance to serve her fatherland.
But no, she came back and didn’t partake in the program.
Her career skyrocketed to the point where she became Nigeria’s Minister of Finance.
Such goals!
Nigerians have ears everywhere and know everything. I promise you. Because they were able to dig out the fact that Mrs. Adeosun never served Nigeria.
But she is serving as the Minister of Finance? How?
For some reason, she has a certificate. And a lot of people have come to the conclusion that its a fake one.
At least until Mrs. Kemi can prove otherwise.
Its very important to talk about it because the average Nigerian can’t get a job without having done NYSC.
And you can even face jail time for not participating in this program. It’s that important.
With all of this in mind, I just want you to know that there is a high possibility our Minister of Finance did not serve her fatherland.
But no worries, once she speaks up about it. I’d let you know.
Life in Lagos can be difficult and stressful but don’t let that distract you from the fact that it’s possible to use enjoyment to kill yourself in this same Lagos? And the best part? You don’t even have to spend money.
Gate crash somebody’s owambe. Make sure it’s not one that is strictly be invitation to avoid disgrace.
Is anything better than free food and drinks? If you hustle well you’ll even collect souvenir too.
Go to your nearest bar anytime Nigeria is playing in any football tournament and just sit down. Once Nigeria scores, someone is guaranteed to buy beer for everyone in the bar.
Visit tourist attractions. You might die in Lagos traffic but don’t worry it’s all part of the experience.
It’s only in Lagos you can witness a danfo scratching a Ferrari, you can’t get that kind of entertainment anywhere else.
Take a tour of all the suya spots in your area and finesse your way to getting free suya.
So this is how it’s done. Buy a bottle of coke and go from suya spot to suya spot asking for ‘tasting’. By the time you check out ten spots, you’ll be well fed.
Go to the New Afrikan Shrine and just soak up the great vibe and music it has to offer.
If you go on a Sunday you get to see the legendary Femi Kuti perform for free.
Complete the cultural experience of visiting Shrine with a trip to Kalakuta museum where Fela’s spirit lives on.
There’s also a bar in the museum, if you are sharp you can finesse your way to free beer.
If you like Shrine you’ll also like Freedom Park in Lagos Island.
There is almost always a live music performance going on for you to enjoy. There are also several food courts you could buy food from, but that’s not what you are there for so pack rice from your house.
Are you even a Lagosian if you’ve never been to one of the beaches?
Pick a weekend to go and dig your feet in the sand and take a dip in the water.
Go and learn about Nigeria’s history at the National Museum. It’s completely free.
It’s not everyday chop life. Some days educate yourself.
But the ultimate way to enjoy Lagos? Just don’t leave your house. What are you looking for outside? Isn’t there rice at home?
We’ve done the math and if you don’t leave your house in Lagos you won’t spend up to 2k a day. If you don’t want to spend any money at all, then Lagos is not the place for you. Have you considered moving to Ibadan?
The visa application struggle is very real with our not-so-much-loved Nigerian passport, and a lot of us have learned that the hard way. However, there are still a few countries that will have us with no hassle! Check out these African countries you can visit visa-free.
Thank God, sha. We never cast for here.
1. Cape Verde – West Africa
A former Portuguese colony, this beautiful island country is located on the West African coast. The official language is Portuguese, and the national language is Kriolu. Cape Verde has amazing weather and is a great choice for a visit.
2. The Comoro Islands – East Africa
Comoros is a constellation of islands off the south-east coast of Africa, east of Mozambique and north-west of Madagascar. Although The Comoro Islands is listed as visa-free for Nigerians, we still have to get visas on arrival. Life. There are lots of exciting touristy things you can do on the islands, so you should definitely check it out.
3. The Gambia – West Africa
Africa’s smallest country, The Gambia is absolutely beautiful and is known for its diverse ecosystems around the central Gambia River, abundant wildlife, beaches, and so much more. It has it all. Nigerians can visit The Gambia visa-free for up to 90 days.
4. Ghana – West Africa
As part of ECOWAS benefits, Nigerians can enter our sister country visa-free, but sometimes, visas may be given on arrival. Ghana is famous for its slave-trade historic artefacts, beautiful beaches and parks, and Shatta Wale lol. You should definitely visit.
5. Kenya – East Africa
Kenya is a beautiful country with incredible wildlife. Nigerians can visit for up to 90 days, visa-free. From fun rides through the safari to snorkelling, Kenya is one of Africa’s most impressive vacation locations.
6. Madagascar – East Africa
Madagascar is situated off the South East coast of Mozambique and is the world’s 4th largest island. Different species of palm trees surround the waters and you can go swimming or snorkelling in the Indian Ocean. In Madagascar, Nigerians receive visas on arrival.
7. Chad – Central Africa
Chad is located in the central African region and is home to a wide variety of wild animals. You can visit Chad visa-free and can pay a visit to the Zakouma National Park which has 44 species of large animals and many species of birds. There are also many interesting sandstone formations.
8. Mauritania – West Africa
Mauritania a beautiful desert country situated between Morocco, Mali, Algeria, Senegal, and the sweep of the Atlantic Ocean. On arrival, Nigerians can acquire a visa. You can cross the desert on a camel, or explore Chinguetti, an impressive “Old City”; a crumbling, sandstone village, with various antiquated mosques and a few libraries.
9. Mauritius – East Africa
Mauritius is a gorgeous island nation located along the coast of the Indian Ocean, off the southeast coast of Africa. Mauritius is an English/French-speaking country with a tropical climate, clear and warm sea waters and beaches. A perfect romantic getaway spot, you can go snorkelling, swimming or scuba-diving. For 90 days, Nigerians can visit Mauritius visa-free.
10. Seychelles – East Africa
Seychelles is located off the coast of East Africa in the Indian Ocean and is bordered by other islands like Zanzibar, Madagascar and Mauritius. The beautiful country of 115 islands boasts of a diverse blend of cultures and has some of the best beaches in the world. It offers Nigerians a visitor’s permit for one month.
I pledge to you, that after you read this, you’d have a lot of reasons to get your PVC.
I discovered some strange facts about Nigeria and it’s people and I couldn’t keep them all to myself.
Because where’s the fun in that?
I have to tell you that everything you’re about to read is 100% true.
I’m saying it with my chest.
Have you ever wondered if greatness could sometimes be a family thing?
Like you can just be great because your family has symptoms of greatness ?
So it turns out Fela Anikulapo Kuti and Professor Wole Soyinka were cousins. Two of Nigeria’s Greatest men.
Yup, Fela’s father and Wole Soyinka’s mother were siblings.
Ladies, according to the Nigerian “Breach of Contract to Marry”, if a man proposes to you, and suddenly calls off the marriage…
…you can sue his sorry ass.
In 1964, Edna Park who was Nigeria’s representative at Miss Universe fainted when her name wasn’t called as a finalist.
The judges audacity.
Should we talk about football for a minute?
Ohh yeahhh
In 1964, the Nigerian civil war had to be stopped for 2 days, because Nigerians wanted to watch Pelé play.
You guys, Pelé is the god of Football. Argue with Maradona.
Also, Nigeria’s first world cup goal was in 1994 and they finished Bulgaria with a sweet 3-0. The late Rashidi Yekini scored our first goal ever.
See, sometime’s I just wish I could rewind time small.
Let me tell you about Nigeria in the 70’s.
You’re not ready for this, trust me.
In the 70’s, Nigeria had one of the strongest currencies in the world.
60kobo = $1
In the 70’s, there was actually constant power supply in the entire country.
I mean NEPA almost never took light. Believe it or not.
During that same period, there were literally excess jobs in Nigeria.
See why I said I wish we could go back in time a bit?
Finland even used to say Nigeria was “A future world power”
And Yakubu Gowon said our only problem is how we spend money.
Fast forward to 2018, It was announced on the 25th of June that Nigeria has become the country with the highest number of poor people in the world. We beat India to it.
I truly do not know what to say.
Anyway, moving on to some weird stuff. In 2009, a goat was arrested by the Nigerian police.
I don’t mean goat like a legend. I mean goat like goat. Animal.
So, a man tells the police someone tries to steal his car but was caught and tried to run away. The man believed the thief turned into a goat because well, the thief disappeared.
What’s the logical thing to do? Obviously, arrest the goat.
While goat’s are going to jail, humans are barking to death. Okay so, In 1953, the Alaafin of Oyo visited Bode Thomas who was a Lawyer and Chairman, Oyo divisional council.
Political brothers supporting each other.
Things went south quickly when Bode Thomas insulted the Alaafin for standing to greet him. I mean, Sho mo age mi ni?
As soon as the Alaafin left, Mr Bode starts barking like a dog, non stop. while he was still barking, He died the next morning.
I’m going to end with this story most of us have probably heard before. If you’ve never heard about Daniel in the Bible.
Let me give you a vague summary, He was a man who stayed with lions, interacted with them and came out alive.
Daniel Abodunrin, who was a Nigerian prophet tried to recreate the story above by entering the Lions den in a zoo in Ibadan.
They ate him up. It’s not funny.
“Wait wait wait, Nigeria is somehow o, what’s that thing you were saying about PVC?”
