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  • Every week, we ask anonymous people to give us a window into their relationship with the Naira – some will be struggle-ish, others boujee–but all the time, it’ll be revealing.

    If you’re looking for a person who’s genuinely enthusiastic about work, the subject of this Naira Life story speaks to this.

     

    This particular episode was pulled off in partnership with Fairmoney. They’re promising that you can get up to ₦150k in 10 minutes. Mad ting.

     

    Age: 25

    Occupation: Product Marketing

    Current Income: ₦210,000/month (net)

    Rent: Nil

     

    Tell me about the very first money you made.

    Let me think–it was at my Church’s Media Team. I was a P.A. to the Director of Productions.

    Oh no! Wait, I also made money in school–I sold Cheese Balls and biscuits.

    The first time I tracked my profit, I realised I actually made ₦5-₦7k. I went to a private University where leaving school was a problem, so I ended up having to send school workers to help me buy more goods. This was my 2nd year and I guess that counts as my true first hustle. I did this for at least 2 years.

     

    The Church money was in my 3rd year, and that was ₦30k.

    Were you getting pocket money?

    I didn’t exactly grow up in a proper mummy-daddy family. So for some reason, there wasn’t any structure around pocket money. Money just came when it came. Whenever I was broke, I just go, “can I call my aunty to tell her I’m broke again?”

    What other hustles did you have?

    Before I served, I worked at an Ad agency as a front desk officer–₦50k, plus tax. I remember when 40-something thousand naira entered my account, and I was like, what is this tax thing for sef?

    Omo, I was a big girl that time o. It was close to work, so I never spent money on transport. There was this guy who was toasting me, so he was always giving me free rides.

    That period was actually the first time I bought stuff online–one rubbish skirt that cost ₦6k.

    Then NYSC?

    I was tired of being at home in Lagos with my folks–too much control and curfews–so I was glad I got out of Lagos. My allowee was ₦19,800, then ₦10k from my Place Of Primary Assignment (PPA).

    But I had one extra hustle there: My PPA was at the Government House Church, so there was an extra gig–as a church greeter. I kid you not.

    “You’re welcome to Church!” every time the governor was arriving. Different colourful clothes and all that, every Sunday.

    Then I took another weekend gig that had very little to do with money. I always had this dream that I’d have some form of impact wherever I serve. And because I like kids too, I started teaching some children on weekends. I asked for ₦2k. Do you know their father still owed me? Nonsense.

     

    When did NYSC finish?

    2016. Then I started working at a small media company. I got paid ₦50k. Ah, my mum insulted me sha. Plus my uncle too. They didn’t understand how they’d spend almost 4 million on my education and then I’d settle for ₦50k for a first job.

    It wasn’t even funny at all.

    But to me ehn, it wasn’t really about money at the time, so I was willing to take it.

    I left after three months. The structure, or more accurately, the lack of it, was a problem. I did Social Media management there.

    Then I joined another media company. I was working on digital strategy and content management. This was actually where I started taking all the online courses I could find because I realised how much I liked marketing. I studied something completely different by the way.

    How much did this new company pay?

    I asked for ₦120k, and they basically just said: “you’ll see your salary.” That’s how my salary came and I saw ₦70k. Rookie mistake. 

    It was a disaster.

    Then they stopped paying consistently. Then one day, in the second half of the year, we got laid off. Bruh, I cried all the way home. I didn’t even know where to start. Keep in mind I still had responsibilities with family. So I started job hunting again.

    While I was looking for a job, someone told me about a woman who had a blog and needed someone to handle social media.

    I was like, oya let’s do this. Why I especially liked this gig was that I had enough room to grab new skills. ₦35k.

    I started at another media company in October. But how I ended up as an intern there despite having some decent experience is even more epic.

    When I first applied for the gig, I got an email that said stuff like, “Oh apologies, we don’t have full-time positions, because we’ve hired for these positions. But we have internship positions.”

    I was willing to take it to be honest, but my mum was like “what exactly is your problem? What internship are you doing with all your past experience again?” She wasn’t having any of it.

    But I really felt like this company was pretty much one of the biggest in the media game.

    When I resumed, there were no ‘filled out full-time positions’. In fact, no fulltime hires had been made recently. They just wanted someone who could do all the work for less money. The learnings ended up becoming valuable, but I can’t forget that. 

    I got paid ₦40k at first, then later ₦50k after 3 months.

    Crazy.

    Also, I still had the side hustle–that woman with her blog–that gave me ₦30k.

    My internship was supposed to last 6 months, but by the sixth month, there was no word of the way forward. So when I sent in a notice that I was going to quit, I got a “Oh you’re going to get a raise. We’re going to confirm you, full-staff.” In my head, I was like ohhhh, so you had to wait for me to try to quit first.

     

    I quit anyway.

     

    Something I told my mum before I took the job was that, when I begin to apply for other jobs, it won’t matter much that I interned. What will matter is the work I did, and bruh, did not I not do a lot of work? It stretched me intensely.

    Then I joined another company and my net was ₦210k. Even better is that it was also close to home. The thing about this new gig is that it required all my attention when I joined, so I quit my side hustle.

    What has changed about your perspective, in all this time?

    As much as I say money is not everything, it’s still a major key. Being broke makes me cranky. Even in my relationships, when I tell you I have a problem, I don’t even need to ask you to give me money. You’re just supposed to use your head.

    Okay, let’s talk about the money you currently earn.

    First of all, I budget a lot. I know where my next salary is going. 

    I tend to feel bad about it, but I spend a significant amount of my money on hair. My monthly spending tends to change a lot too. For example, my ideal savings should be ₦100k. But then I spend on hair, and that one just disappears. Also, makeup. Usually, each time I’m shopping for makeup, the budget is ₦10k, but I just bought a crazy new brand that’s more expensive–₦26k.

    See ehn, I’m not doing again.

    Let’s create a scenario of what an average month looks like

    looks like.

    I’m also big on kolo or piggybank–anyone you call it. I just throw change in there. I’m not a cash person, so every time I withdraw money, I make sure to keep some of it in. I have no idea how much I have in there to be honest. 

    There’s also the part where I’m obsessed with clothes.

    What’s the highest you’ve spent on clothes at once?

    I spent ₦50k once. It might not seem like a lot, but that’s a quarter of my salary. No shopping for another four months after that.

    How else do you manage your money?

    I sit down at home. What am I looking for about? If you want to take me out, come and carry me, please dear. Last weekend, when I wanted to go out so badly, I slept through it. When I’m craving anything that involves going out, I sleep. Sleep works like magic.

    Let’s talk about your airtime spending.

    I was in a long distance relationship with someone Abroad, we used to text and do video calls. Then I took a break. Then I started talking to someone back here. That meant that I started buying airtime to talk on the phone because the Internet can’t be trusted. I’ll buy ₦1k airtime, and next thing I’ll hear after talking a little is “your account balance is low.”

    Mad ting.

    One of the guys I’m currently reviewing said we need to take a break from going out. Because every time we go out, it’s like “let’s go and eat here,” “let’s go and chill there,” and then you end up spending money. One guy took me to this restaurant that’s so damn expensive. When they brought the bill like this–₦40k. And what did I even eat?

     

    Local relationships are expensive. You want to go to nice places but they’re all overpriced. Abroad, good pizza is cheap, but here everything is expensive. 

    Long distance relationships or just being single saves you money.

    Okay back to income: How much do you feel like you should be taking home monthly?

    Like ₦400k. Because my work stretches me mentally a lot. I have sleepless nights just trying to crack it. If the things I come up with to add value to the company, I should be paid. My work takes all my time. I have no work/life balance. If I spend so much time on my work, I should be paid more.

    How much do you think you should be earning in 5 years?

    I see myself being Marketing Director in a top company. Or a marketing consultant. I should be earning like ₦3 million a month when I think of where I’m headed and the amount of knowledge I’ll have by then. This figure is of course based on the current value of the naira. 

    What is something you want right now but can’t afford?

    A car. I need it now-now. I’m done with these Uber drivers. I’m tired–the ones that smell, the ones that talk to me one kain, the ones that annoy me.

    The car I want is ₦10 million, but the one I’ll manage is ₦2 million. Two separate things.

    When do you think you’ll retire?

    I intend to run a primary and secondary school in my 50s, when I’m done with the corporate world. But if you’re asking when I’m going to stop working, the answer is never, because I really can’t be idle.

    How much do you know about your pension?

    13k gets put in my pension account every month? To be honest I’m not sure. It’s just one of those things I do because they said we should do it. But I don’t feel strongly about it, because I feel like if I have my own money, I won’t need it. But they say things might just go wrong and then you suddenly need it.

    Last thing you bought that required serious planning?

    My phone. It cost ₦306k. My Airpods, on the other hand, didn’t require serious planning because I bought it once–it did require serious thinking.

    Most annoying miscellaneous.

    As much as I didn’t want to do it and didn’t budget for it, it was school fees for one of my siblings. It was some ridiculous reason that would mean he didn’t resume on time, so I paid ₦40k.

    Do you have any investments?

    My baby brother’s business. Investment is something you get out right? Uhm, no I don’t. Because it’s more of giving than actual investing. This is why I want to start my own. I also want to invest in someone’s business soon. Someone I know is starting a food business.

    Rate your financial happiness over 10?

    Something like a 6.5. My current income just gets me the basics, but there are so many things I need that I don’t have. Like my car, I want my car now.

    There’s still so much more I want to do, but I can’t do now. I won’t say I’m unhappy, but I need more to be able to do more things than I can do now.

    What’s something you’d have loved me to ask you but I didn’t?

    I was hoping you’d ask how much I’ve ever earned in my entire life?

    That’s interesting, tell me.

    Add all the money I’ve earned since then–the 50k gigs, side hustles, the end of year bonuses and returns on small investments here and there. I’ll put the money at maybe ₦15 million?

    What’s next?

    I’m starting a side hustle soon, it’s more about finding personal purpose than finding money. I feel the need to touch lives to directly and I want to do it with business.

    The funding for this? It will have to come from my savings.

     

    It’s time to put all that kolo money to work.

    Two things: 

    The people at Fairmoney aren’t playing around with this spray-the-cash movement. You shouldn’t be playing either. Check it out now-now. Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people. But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else (plus some stuff I might have edited out), just hit me up here. It takes only one minute.

  • In this story, we talk to a man who spends his days selling water out of his cart, and his nights keeping watch. 

     

    Age: 27

    Income: ₦82,000/month

    When did this hustle start?

    I first came to Lagos around that time Jonathan first became President after Yar’adua died. The first job I started then was fetching water and selling. That time, water used to be sold for ₦20. I’ve been selling water since then.

    What’s your average water selling day like?

    I always sell between 6 to 8 carts. But on some very good days, I can sell up to 10 carts. My best water days are actually Monday and Thursday. I buy every keg for ₦10 when there’s light then sell each one for ₦40. When there’s no light and they pump water with a generator, each keg is ₦20.

    Then recently, I delivered water to one man, and he asked me if I could come and stay as security in his office compound every night to avoid burglars. He offered me ₦10,000. So that’s where I sleep. 

    So how do you spend your money?

    I try to spend no more than ₦300 on food everyday. Then whenever I’m sick, I buy medicine. I try to call my family every time. Every time I call home, it costs me at least ₦500. 

     

    Ah, ₦500?

    Yes, every time I have to call my family back at home, it costs me ₦500 every 2 minutes. International call.

     

    Tell me about your family.

    My parents are from Kidal in Mali. It’s in Tuareg territory. So I’m Tuareg. Tuaregs were fighting to leave Mali and form their own country in 2012. We didn’t really support the movement and fighting in Kidal, because we didn’t want to follow those Tuareg to form new country.

     

    Why?

    Those Tuareg that were trying to form the new country are light-skinned. We’re dark-skinned. They won’t treat us well, so we just stayed with Mali. They didn’t succeed in the end. But my family moved to Bankilare in Niger. That’s where they live now.

    I have a wife that I married in 2017, we also have a daughter. My wife is 21 now. Then I have my father, my mother, and two sisters. The first one is 19 and the second one is 15.

     

    Does anyone of them go to school?

    My wife? No. My 15-year-old sister was going to school when she was younger, but no money again, so she’s no longer going to school. She dropped out of Primary School in 2013.

     

    Does your wife work?

    No, she just takes care of the child and maybe does small-small things at the market. But she doesn’t really work. Every month, I try to send home 100,000 CFA every month. That is about ₦60,000.

    Then she keeps 20,000 CFA and distributes the rest among my father, mother, and sisters.

     

    Back to Lagos; how far with these Agbero people?

    Those ones? They’re always mad. If they see you and you don’t have a Local Government Ticket, they’ll collect ₦5,000. But if you have a ticket, ₦50 every day. Then another thing that takes money once-once; immigration card. Every 6 months, we have to re-register at the immigration office for ₦1,500.

     

    Do you pay rent?

    No o. Because that security job is a night job, that’s where I sleep. If I earn more money, maybe I’ll try to get a place to stay.

     

    Do you keep aside any money?

    Yes, I try to save ₦5,000 every month. The money is supposed to be what I’ll use to travel back home. So, to travel back home, I need ₦100,000. Last time I travelled home was 2017.

    Because I need to take things for the family when I’m going home. For example, I’m going to buy clothes for the whole family. I want to travel around May or June.

    What’s the most vexing thing you’ve spent money on?

    It’s not even money I spent, but it pained me. One time like this, I went to the place where we buy water, it’s like when I removed my wallet to pay, I forgot to put it back in my pocket.

    By the time I went back to check it, someone had carried it. That wallet? It had ₦35,000 inside that I was supposed to send home.

    My head scattered. My chest was paining me.

     

    What do you think about your hustle, between 2014 and now?

    I’m getting old now. I really wish I had gone to school. Because if I know how to read and write, there are some jobs I’ll be able to do.  For example, I can get a better security job in a good place that will pay me well. Or even learn driving and become a driver.

     

    What are your plans for the next one year?

    I really just have to travel home. When I get home, I’m going to farm. I hate farming, but I have to do it. I’ll grow maize. What I grow, they’ll eat. The rest, we’ll sell.

    I also hope that when I come back, I find a better job, like good security work. Or even driving–this one, I have to learn reading and writing first.

     

    Right now, the only thing I want is for my family to always have food to eat.

    That’s why I’m here.

    Two things: 

    Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people. If you’d love to share your Naira Life with us, tell us here. You’ll be anon of course 🙂

     

    But, if you want to get the next story before everyone else, just subscribe here. It takes only one minute.

  • It’s the 13th of March as I write this. I’m surviving on my stash of pasta, cream crackers and pure benevolence.

    I don’t know how my salary finished and I don’t want to talk about it. All I know is that I feel like a giant party balloon floating over Ajegunle, waiting for one angry child to put a needle through me and end this misery.

    The only distraction I have to keep me till payday is unlimited internet till the 26th and a status symbol with great battery life for a laptop.

    It means the best thing I can do for fun is to watch stuff. That hasn’t helped much. I’m poor (at least for the meantime) and all my favourite shows have rich people in them.

    The good thing about the world we live in today though is that there’s a shitload of variety.

    Hand holding remote control

    If you search long enough as I have, you’ll find stuff that won’t make you call your parents and blame them for bringing you into the country.

    On a scale of “Quarter To Dead” to “You Know Say Money No Be Problem”, here are some TV and movie recommendations to help you pass the time, depending on how poor you are and how many lenders have put out bounties for your head.

    ‘Quarter to Dead’

    You really don’t know why you’re still alive. You were hungry before but now a full meal means coaster biscuits, one sachet of pure water and butter mint for flavour. Paylater and Zenith Bank have put out bounties for your head.

    The only reason you’re not homeless is that your landlord has decided to let you under the stairs in exchange for taking on vigilante duties from 6 pm to 6 am.

    Liberia: An Uncivil War Documentary

    You won’t realise how good you have it until you see kids feasting on human hearts to strengthen their jazz and families who are living in stadiums to evade decades-long wars. Regardless of what Rochas Okorocha says, there aren’t many examples of human wickedness like the Liberian Civil Wars.

    It’s absolute horror, facilitated by some of the most ludicrous characters you’ve never heard of (like a certain General Cobra) and a delusional leader with a saviour complex (Hi, Charles Taylor).

    And just when it starts to get too dark, everything peters out to a moment of absolute glee; Nigerian soldiers rolling into Monrovia and saving the day without firing a single bullet. Things can get better, after all.

    The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind

    Chiwetel Ejiofor’s directorial debut is a movie about a young Malawi boy who sneaks into the library and learns to build a windmill to save his village from famine AFTER HE IS THROWN OUT OF SCHOOL WHEN HIS FAMILY CANNOT PAY THE FEES.

    Feel useless now?

    Apart from being a well-made movie, this movie is a tale of fighting the odds and making things happen for yourself. Which is exactly what you need to do before your street finds a new security man.

    ‘Down To My Last Card’

    Although you still have some money left, it doesn’t feel like it. Every naira note counts now, which is why you’re living off white rice and tomato puree and going to work in buses that smell like all the 400 years of slavery.

    The only social app using background data on your phone is Whatsapp. And even though you think you can make it to the end of the month, you just remembered you haven’t touched PHCN bills in two months.

    Somebody just climbed the pole with rubber gloves and the most elaborate plier you’ve ever seen in your life.

    Losers

    This Netflix original series is about the ‘almosts’, the athletes who found victory in their failure, and how they made it happen.

    There’s Surya Bonaly; a French figure skater who was arguably the most technically gifted of her generation but never won Olympic Gold, no thanks to racial biases in the sport.

    This was despite the fact that she was a 9-time national champion and the only Olympic skater to successfully pull off the backflip on ice.

    There’s Torquay United, a team whose greatest success came by avoiding relegation from England’s football leagues. Failure never felt so good.

    So even though you’re doing shit at life, Losers is proof that all that constant flopping and the close calls might just be evidence that you’re a unicorn. Or maybe you’re just useless and you can’t help it.

    Moneyball

    Moneyball, a sports classic featuring Brad Pitt and a pre-fitfam Jonah Hill, is a movie about being thrifty, just what you need right.

    Brad Pitt’s character uses weird formulas and stats to assemble a team of has-beens and misfits that almost win the national championships.

    This is what Robert Kiyosaki’s book, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” would be, minus a very creepy kid who’s afraid to admit he likes someone else’s rich father more than his own poor papa.

    The Oakland A’s rise to the summit of their league is all the motivation you need to keep being a cheapskate and owning it with your chest.

    P.S- Robert Kiyosaki filed for bankruptcy in 2012 so I don’t even know anymore.

    ‘My Brother, We Thank God’

    This is your default answer to everything. Greetings, praise, questions about your salary and how you can afford that second-hand Honda Civic you just parked in your yard. Nobody knows you keep saying that because you really don’t need God to put you through any tests of faith right now.

    You’re relatively comfortable but that isn’t saying much. One more serious expense bill and you’ll have to put your fridge and your university degree on OLX.

    The Umbrella Academy

    This new Netflix original series is probably the most exciting and quirky show I’ve come across since ‘Arrested Development’.

    It’s about a league of superhumans who assemble for a just cause after their ‘father’, an eccentric billionaire breathes his last. It’s fast-paced and action-packed with large doses of humour.

    It’s also proof that your ‘comfortable’ life is actually just a basic, mundane existence. You’re not getting a talking monkey anytime soon, but this should push you to go out and find some excitement.

    Gone Too Far

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEbIkZJgNGg

    They may not know it yet but Peckham is lowkey a local government in Lagos State. It’s the one place in England where a regular Nigerian would not feel out of place.

    But when London-born teenager Yemi meets his long lost brother from home, he’s less than impressed with his dress sense and general shepeteri attitude.

    Made in 2013, this movie is essentially a look at the ties between immigrant populations and their people back at home.

    There’s a load of references to Nigerian culture and plenty ‘innit’ as well. Gone Too Far is basically proof that there’s more to life than what we have or how we look. Maybe mundane isn’t so bad after all.

    ‘You Know Say Money No Be Problem’

    Sarkodie may have made those lines popular but you’re one of those really living the life. Your bills pay themselves.

    Black tax what? Your parents regularly send you dollars and expensive gifts as a reminder that you’re still their kid. You’re in your 30s.

    The last time you were bored, it was because you had to decide which of your three passports to travel with. Then you got a call from that new bestie you met in the elevator at the Burj al Arab asking you to come over to Zanzibar for the weekend. All is well in the world again.

    Dirty Money

    Dirty Money is what happens when rich people get too greedy.

    This documentary series features stories of corporate greed where wealthy companies rip off entire nations just so they can have a little extra money.

    I particularly like the fact that most of these stories end in jail terms.

    Now to get this show to stream on an endless loop in every government house in Nigeria.

    Chief Daddy

    Chief Daddy is one of Nollywood’s newest additions to Netflix. It tells the story of a colourful billionaire, Chief Beecroft who is a benefactor to his own small tribe of family members.

    When rich people die, vultures come-a-swooping.

    So all that random philanthropy might actually be setting you up for a small civil war when you’re gone.

    Sister Caro may be your favourite cousin now, but she probably has a list of things to steal from your house when everyone’s signing the condolence register.

    While you’re here, let me tell you about the Zikoko Pop Newsletter.

    It’s called Poppin’ – everything you should know happening in pop culture, plus recommendations, our fire playlists, info on all the best parties and freebies you won’t get anywhere else. Do the right thing and sign up, my gee.

  • KAPAICHUMARIMARICHOPACO

    Zlatan Ibile

    If you know this phrase or have heard it before, you have one guy to thank – a rapper by the name Zlatan Ibile. He says it to announce himself on a song, to end verses, and pretty much anytime he wants, like on his hit single with Burna Boy, “Killin Dem”.

    Thanks to Zlatan, this phrase is becoming so common that it’s now taken for slang.

    For all we know, it’s also completely meaningless.

    As early as March 2018, music magazine Vibe.ng tried to provide some clarity. In an interview, they asked Zlatan what “Kapaichumarimarichopaco” means.

    Our man with the green hair dye responded, “It is a spiritual language and can mean whatever you want it to mean.”

    Errm, that’s not really how it works, Zlatan.

    Later in the year, Trace, the French music channel, decided to do it for the culture. But just when we thought he was about to answer one of humanity’s biggest questions, Zlatan’s responded: “It means CASA BLANCA DE KATAMA TOFIA”.

    Hold my hands, my gee. Do you feel that slight vibration in your brain? Are your eyes suggesting they want to weep against your best efforts? That’s what intense confusion feels like.

    We still don’t know what Zlatan’s favourite slang means. But that hasn’t stopped anyone from saying it, or my editor, Fu’ad, from plastering it on the walls of his new apartment and praying to a statue of Zlatan while performing his physically-challenged Zanku.

    But let’s be honest, does anyone really care what it means? Or better still, do we really want to know?

    Nigerian Slang

    Slang is good. I can’t even begin to run through the reasons. For a start, it gives attitude to language.

    Slang makes its speakers feel special like they’re part of some elite group where you have to speak in “Alaye” and “Kurombe” to collect your ID card.

    But the thing is most slang is inspired by reality and as you probably know, Nigerian reality is an endless episode of Ridiculousness.

    Take the slang, “Gbe Body E” for instance.

    Most people use it to elicit some form of excitement or get people moving. You’ll hear it at parties when someone busts out a mean Zanku, or some wealthy bottle popper shows up.

    Which is weird because the slang supposedly began in brothels in Mushin and Agege. The story goes that err, sex workers and strippers would tell their exhausted patrons to gbe body (carry their bodies) after they had been worn out by exercise.

    It’s like going to the gym and your trainer works you the hell out. Then just as you break your ankle, he looks at your body on the ground and tells you to crawl home with the weights on your back.

    One of my personal favourites is Ajebutter.

    Rich Kid

    Everyone knows it refers to kids born with a silver spoon, right?

    The literal meaning though is ‘someone who eats butter’. Join me as I try to understand why anyone thinks eating butter, which I assume people only do because there’s bread at home and payday is exactly 23 days away, is a symbol of wealth.

    What does all of this mean?

    Most Nigerian slang comes from street culture, a way of life that is challenging and absurd.

    It’s not fancy but street culture is what most Nigerians experience on their day to day. Nothing captures our collective reality quite like the slangs that rise out of Karu, Agege or Upper Sakponba.

    So the next time you tell the alaye (young man) manning your danfo (commercial bus) to give you your waso (50 naira) change, remember you’re spreading tiny bits of Nigerian ridiculousness in the air. You should be proud.

    Oh. And Zlatan’s ‘Kapaichumarimarichopaco’ comes from a popular late-2000s skit where a young man desperate for quick, easy money was beaten by two conmen pretending to be native spiritualists.

    What could be more ridiculous than that?

    Did you enjoy this? You should sign up for our weekly pop culture newsletter, Poppin’. You’ll get to know what we’re up to before anyone else + insider gist, reviews, freebies and more. If it sounds like your deal, sign up here.

  • You’d think a struggle as common as finances would be easy to understand. It’s not. Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish–others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.

    The guy in this story lives for one purpose; making sure all is well at home. 

    Age: 29

    Occupation: Designer

    Net Income: ₦104,000/month

    When did the hustle start?

    My first teaching salary came during the 8 months ASUU strike in my final year. I spent the first four months waiting for ASUU to “call off the strike next week”. Then by the end of the fourth month, I just went looking for a job, and I found a teaching job.

    I got paid ₦10k per month to teach Maths, Further Maths, and Physics.  

    When did you start to learn to design proper?

    There was this moment of realisation that came in 400-level second semester. I had one more year in Uni and I knew I wasn’t going to graduate with a 2-1. So I started looking for how to complement my drawing skills.

    Interestingly, 2 years earlier, one of these organisations came to school saying they were going to teach us graphic design and all of that. Some of us were going to take a test, and those who passed would get a 50% scholarship.

    I passed, but that scholarship still meant I was going to pay ₦36k, but I couldn’t even afford that. So I fashied it.

    Back to 400-level again, I met this guy who already knew how to design. And one day he goes, “you sketch really well, you know you can colour that in Photoshop, right?”

    He taught me, free of charge.

     

    To be honest, I had already lost hope of becoming a graphic designer at some point. I mean, the oldest prayer I can remember from when I was in SS3 was how I want to make a living with my pencils. So I wanted to study Computer Science, you know, to see how it can aid my art. The school gave me Physics to study instead.

    So, this person teaching me made all the difference.

    Okay, back to making a living.

    Let’s not forget that I spent 7 years in school for a 5-year course because of ASUU. Okay, so the next time I earned after that teaching job was during NYSC. I dunno the ₦19,800 NYSC was paying other people, but I was collecting ₦19,600 sha. Bank charges and all that. There was one month that ₦19,500 entered sef.

    I served at a Parish House in a village, and the Reverend paid in cash and kind. Cash at ₦5,000 a month. Kind in loads of free food and chicken.

    30 days after NYSC in 2015, I got my first job as a designer. It was a perfect 26th birthday. Got a message on that Sunday–my birthday–telling me to resume on Monday. My first post-NYSC salary was 70k. I was on probation, so no tax, pension and all of that. But by the time I collected my 7th salary, the money go cut down.

    Ah, the taxes.

    Yep, all of that came in and I started to earn ₦63,800. Currently, my take-home is at ₦104k.

    Let’s break that money down.

    First of all, as the first born child of a not-financially-gallant family, I get to actually spend less than 50% on myself.

    What’s the current household income back home?

    40k monthly. 30k from my dad’s pension. 10k from my mum’s teaching job–she teaches at a primary school. Then my two sisters are currently serving. I guess we can count their own 19,800 at least.

    When did you start paying the ‘Black Tax’?

    See, immediately my first salary entered, most of it went straight to my family, and it wasn’t because of all that first salary ritual. My brother had just gained admission into University, and I had to collabo with my dad to pay his fees.

    Since then, it has been making sure no one stays sick for long or goes hungry.

    What’s the hardest part?

    It’s knowing that there’s always something waiting for the salary to come. It’s an endless loop, but that’s not all. Also hoping that nothing happens back at home that will now touch the sacred ₦45k that feeds me and transports me to and from work. On the tough months, I don’t even get to save up to ₦15k.

    What are some things that can go wrong?

    One time, I fell sick and it cost me ₦15k to get back on my feet. Another time, my dad called that his brother had been arrested. Apparently, my uncle ran into someone he was owing. In the bid to “get him to pay back”, a fight started and he hit his creditor. That cost me 30k, One day, my dad’s vehicle was impounded. The fine was ₦80k, I raised ₦50k.

    Have you ever reached a breaking point?

    There was a time I had ₦60k in my account. My brother called me like “ASUU has called off the strike o.” They’ve increased our school fees to ₦120k. Do you know how much he used to pay before the strike? ₦40k. It knocked me out. Took me three days to get my senses back. But I survived it sha. Borrowed here and there for the fees, and to survive that month.

    Do you ever enter “I can’t kill myself” mode?

    Ah yes, when I don’t find any solutions. But it never really fixes anything. It mostly turns into a fight between my dad and me.

    Another thing is, my dad has a drinking problem. I sent money home once, and my mum called me to say they’d run out of money for food. I went mad, because I know he spent part of that money drinking. It ended up in my dad and I shouting at each other, and my mum watching, helpless.

    You and your dad seem to have an interesting relationship.

    I used to hate him a lot, argh. He retired from the Army as a Corporal. I was a stubborn kid, and his methods felt too rigid. I thought he was a demon. Like, you put your leg in the wrong place, and you get a slap. There were no second chances with him. My mum, on the other hand, was kind and never hit us. That dynamic used to confuse me a lot.

    It’s weird, but I kind of appreciate my father now. Growing up in the barracks, I’m not sure I want to live like most of the people I grew up with. Something he said once that I can’t ever forget; “I can’t let my children grow up in the barracks. Barracks children don’t prosper.” So it’s like he thought the only way he could make sure of this was to beat the barracks out of our psyche.

    Mad.

    As soon as he came back from his peace-keeping mission Sierra Leone, 2002, he retired. He was 42 at the time. This was also about three months after that Ikeja Bomb Blast. So we moved out of the Barracks and he started working as a driver for a flour distribution company. His military pension was also coming in at the time, ₦27k. That money increased to ₦30k in 2013, and he’s been collecting 30 since then.

    What did your parents think about you wanting to become a designer?

    Once, my teacher beat me for tearing my books and using it to draw comics. My mum came to school the next day to fight the teacher. “For your life, no beat am again! Na you buy the book for am?” Special woman; born of a soldier, married to a soldier.

    It’s interesting, but they’ve always supported my talent and dream. At every stage.

    Let’s talk about now. How much do you feel like you should be earning?

    See, I shouldn’t be earning less than ₦200k. My workload is crazy. I know people earning twice my current income, who don’t have half my skillset. I tried speaking to my boss about a raise once, but he said I have to wait till it’s ‘increment season’ because the company has a salary structure.

    Okay, what will be great money for you right now?

    ₦300k. I’ve thought deeply about this and analysed it. With 300, I’ll marry, put my children through school and build a house in 10 years. It’s not like I have a shayo budget that will drain my money or anything. I really don’t live beyond work and going back home.

    Interesting.

    I’ll pull this off easy in Ibadan, which is where I know I’m going back to full time when this Lagos hustle is over.

    What’s something you want but can’t afford right now?

    An apartment. A better apartment. ₦400-450k will get me the apartment I need now, but I can’t afford it. I’d have said a car too, but even if I had a car and all I had to do was maintain it, I still won’t be able to afford it, not to talk of buying one.

    What type of apartment do you currently have?

    It’s a single room in the boys quarters of a compound of many single rooms–with about six families. It’s a pretty small room and my rent is about ₦36k a year. When I first came to Lagos and was going to get a place, I told myself that I needed one that won’t be difficult to pay from my ₦70k salary. So I got a room. It was a win for me.

     

    I have a bed, shoe rack, cloth hanger, shelf, table, and a cabinet. Then I share a bathroom with the compound. I don’t cook, so I don’t even need a kitchen.

     

    Let’s talk about saving.

    My saving is my emergency fund. I save for eventualities of all kinds, but to be honest, my brother’s school bills is what literally takes my savings. That’s why I lost my mind when the issue of my brother’s school fees came. It’s the major thing I constantly have to plan for the long term.

    It’s also why I can’t invest, even though I’d love to. If I had earned more, I’d definitely be investing. It’s the only way to immortalise money.

    Tell me something that’s currently on your mind?

    “When will you marry?” It has started ringing in my head. I have a plan too and in fact, I’m already famzing my girlfriend’s mum.

    You know – my ex-girlfriend – she’s married with a kid now, and it didn’t end because we didn’t like each other. But I couldn’t keep up – we were the same age. Our struggles were also at the same stage. Within one year after NYSC, she married. My current girlfriend is at a less advanced stage – she’s still in school. So I’m looking to marry within the next two years, she’ll be done by then. The babe makes me happy.

    Awwn. Let’s talk about happiness, generally now.

    To be honest, I think it’s a blessing to get to a point where I can actually come through for my family. My mum’s prayer is always “God bless the person that led you to the person who hired you.” When the twins got admission, there was no one to pay for their admission. That was when I got the teaching job to hustle. My brother won’t have even gone to Uni at all. It’s quite fulfilling, and I believe things will fall into place.

    Most of all, I have an interesting job and amazing colleagues.  

    But my salary? That one is just annoying.

    Click here to go straight MyCashEstate.

     

    Check back every Monday at 9 am (WAT) for a peek into the Naira Life of everyday people. If you’d love to share your Naira Life with us, tell us here. You’ll be anon of course 🙂

  • You’ve probably been there before.

    The two biggest giants of the streaming era - Spotify and Apple Music

    One day, you’re streaming music, then you remember that jam way back you haven’t heard in years. So you go to the search tab on your Apple Music or Spotify, enter the song title and voila, nothing dey there.

    This is usually when you begin to doubt your childhood. You wonder all those memories were just uploaded to your brain and Wande Coal’s “You Bad” never really happened. But that’s not why we’re here.

    Welcome to the world of streaming music, where for a small fee, every song is just a couple clicks away, (except, in this case, the one you actually want to listen to).

    You know that infamous story about the record industry’s collapse and the rise of streaming (pronounce: Apple’s iTunes) that started in 2009?

    Well, streaming is pretty much the main reason music has broken borders, become profitable again and dominated culture in the last few years.

    But iTunes wasn’t available in Nigeria until 2013.

    Spotify, that best friend that knows the music you like, isn’t available in Nigeria 11 years after it launched. Boys have their ways of course.

    And what they often found was that there were certain classics missing from these libraries.

    Here are some that we all have noticed and we just really want to listen to because we paid money for it and whatnot (obvs, this doesn’t apply to Spotify users).

    Wande Coal – You Bad

    Mushin 2 Mo'Hits

    Too many games of PES 09 played to this album. Too many hopes lifted on dancefloors covered in sweat and (sometimes) cheap liquor. Too many drives home, along with conversations about Wande Coal was the goat.

    As far as we know, this album, Wande’s first and only project under Mo’ Hits, is tied up under the terms of his contract with Don Jazzy’s team. There’s also some talk about samples that turned out too difficult to clear.

    Too bad.

     

     

    SDC – Clone Wars 3: The Recession

    Clone Wars IV

    After years of doing the deal, Nigeria’s most fearsome duo is finally getting their respect. But one worries that the generation vioa alte hooks on “Palmwine Music” is missing a vital part of the puzzle – Clone Wars, particularly the third instalment of the series.

    Yes. It’s a mixtape. Yes. It’s on Soundcloud. But considering that Clone Wars IV is available on Apple Music, the lines begin to get blurred. Surely, it can’t be too much to ask.

    MI Abaga – Illegal Music 2

    Illegal Music 2

    The few times I’ve met the rapper who soundtracked my late teens, I’ve often joked that this is the album where he decided to work with every young artiste he liked at the time. He denies it every time.

    As far as Nigerian rap albums go, this was a passing of the baton, unlike anything before it. Today’s OGs built around an MI in his prime. This is where you can get Boogey as Brain, and Yung6ix as a Lil Wayne re-incarnate.

    I know he said “Illegal Music Free, No Mason” on the opening track. But you can’t hide history.

    Lagbaja – His Entire Bl**dy Discography

    Lagbaja

    The masked one. Omo baba m’uko m’uko. Forebearer of a whole generation of pop acts who today skirt that thing like between pop and indigenous music.

    If you’re lucky, your parents (first generation Lagos baby boys and girls) introduced you to Lagbaja’s music as a toddler.

    Or you heard him on the television, on videotapes of Lekki Sunsplash or on the radio. Either way, Lagbaja was a staple of a generation’s childhood. Sadly, a generation may never get to hear classics like “Africalypso”.

    2face Idibia – Grass 2 Grace

    2face Idibia Grass 2 Grace

    The greatest pop musician in Nigerian history. 2baba has been a staple of our lives for god knows along. He’s probably not a vampire but 2face and his music have stayed young since we were kids.

    SO CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN I CAN”T LISTEN TO “GRASS TO GRACE” ON APPLE MUSIC?

    The second chapter of his journey post-Plantashun Boyz is missing from pretty much every music streaming site. That means classics like “For Instance”, “One Love” and “No Shaking” exist largely in your memory.

    WHAT. THE. HELL. MAN.

  • There’s a new type of Nigerian Pride in the air.

    Israel Adesanya

    You may have caught it at a party, dancing like it owns grime and afro-swing from the UK. If you listen closely, it sneaks foreign slang from around the world into every sentence it speaks.

    On social media, it tweets in support for artists from different countries.

    For some reason, it has given Nigerian nicknames to relative outsiders.

    In its latest iteration though, it’s claiming someone as its own. He’s a Mixed Martial Artist called Israel Adesanya.

    At 29 years of age, the lean, muscular fighting machine is the UFC’s latest darling.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp8K8OHgX_b/

    He moved to the UFC from New Zealand in 2018 and has remained unbeaten since. He’s managed those 19 fights by teasing opponents and punching their lights out.

    For 25 years, the United Fighting Championship has entertained fans with gladiator-style brawls between mixed martial artists in what is now the fastest growing sport in the world.

    There must have been a few Nigerian UFC fans before Adesanya.

    Whether the style-bender has inspired a new frenzied fanbase in the country of his birth is a different question.

    Last weekend, before his main event fight, Nigerian rapper, Wale, tweeted a highlight reel of Adesanya with the words “We wit you@laststylebender”.

    All over the internet, Nigerians, from news outlets to your favourite actor, waited. There could be only one outcome.

    The Naija boy had to beat this unknown opponent and continue his run.

    Some say Adesanya fights like a Nigerian.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp8if2dgbgY/

    Hard, quick and flamboyant. During the fight, he paused after delivering a combo of punches, put his left arm behind his back and invited his opponent for more.

    Of course, he’d be silly to do this if he couldn’t handle himself.

    He can hit with all his limbs, which basically means sleep can come upon an opponent from anywhere.

    But most are drawn to his pride in Nigeria.

    Adesanya first came under the public radar on the night of UFC 221. He grabbed a mic and promised Nigerians he would always make them proud in his native Yoruba.

    Ask around and you may well be told that the 70s and 80s are Nigeria’s golden age. But while we were reacting to the first fruits of independence, an undercovered exodus was ongoing. It hasn’t ended since.

    Either for fear of living in a military dictatorship, pre-emptive efforts to avoid the impending crises that would define Nigeria in the 1990s – or just a good old search for greener pastures, many Nigerians began to emigrate to English-speaking countries across the world.

    Most of them settled in Europe, particularly in England. Others, like the Adesanya’s, covered more miles and ended up in New Zealand.

    What happened after is untold history.

    Skepta Nigerian Chief

    The children of these immigrants lived like Nigerians among their families and immigrant communities. But they also had access to opportunities, more than they would have had here, and new cultures – in food, music, fashion and ends. A generation of foreign nationals, weaned on the West, but with strong ties to Home.

    Some of them were born in conditions that birth art like Skepta in London’s Meridian Walk Estates, or like Sade Adu, from a market town in Essex. Some like Israel chased their fancy from New Zealand to China.

    I saw Isreal fight Anderson Silva, a Brazilian “future Hall of Famer” as he was described, at my brother’s flat in Ajah.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_Fsg3m1p0I

    Adesanya’s fighting background is most Oriental. In the UFC’s Octagon though, Silva is one of his heroes. So he showed respect against a formidable opponent and tired him out with quick blows and kicks to his knee.

    It’s horrid stuff at times like that, but then the fight ended and Israel and Silva bowed before each other.

    The boy with the ‘BROKEN NATIVE’ chest tattoo began to cry.

    My brother’s friend Seun whispered “Naija gats dey thankful to the UK”.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Btrfrqdnh2-/

    So, I’m fiercely anti-every-focken-colonial-power-that-still-exists-because-Nigeria-Congo-etc-etc, but it made sense.

    The UK has been the bridge between Nigerian pop culture and the world. A conveyor belt, from the first sprinklings of 70s fashion to the gleeful rhythms of Afrobeats. Ojuelegba stayed in London’s Meridian Walk Estate before the 6God took it to a global level. It’s where most of this Nigerian Pride has come from.

    Chief Joseph Junior Adenuga, the Amuludun of Odo-Aje, or Skepta as you probably know him is the best example. Skepta has single-handedly has strengthened a cultural connection between Lagos and London.

    And there are many more like him. There may have been a time when their ‘Nigerian-ness’ would be questioned but things are different now

    Israel is a real Nigerian boy too, or at least, what we’re often depicted to be.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Btpujd9nq4-/

    He’s probably the only Naruto fanboy from Nigeria who got to do the real thing. Like most of us, he’ll make sure you know he’s running things – like in this Instagram post hours before the fight. He drives a Range Rover and wears a thick gold chain because, contrast.

    There’s a bit of Melancholy about it though.

    Before he shut down London’s O2 Arena, Davido offered a sobering lens on our adoption of pop culture when he told the UK’s Channel 4, “Back home in Nigeria, entertainment is one of the few things we have to be happy about”.

    It’s not far from the truth.

    It’s easy to see why then – while things go sour at home and Nigerians face a decision between the devil and the deep blue sea, we enjoy these spatial moments of delight coming from the abroad.

    We may draw up a hundred and one reasons why we love his fighting but there’s a sense that all Israel Adesanya had to do was be Nigerian.

    As long as Jack keeps Twitter free and we are still allowed to take pride in our own, we won’t let anyone forget it.

  • Every week, we ask anonymous people to give us a window into their relationship with the Naira – some will be struggle-ish, others boujee–but all the time, it’ll be revealing.

    Here:  a lady who cares deeply about fresh food, tells us how she keeps her finances on a leash.  

    Age: 26

    Occupation: Works in Finance

    Location: Lagos

    Relationship Status: Single

    Gross income: ₦8.6 million/year (₦416,000/month, net)

    Rent: ₦250,000/year

    The first salary.

    I have many first salaries. The first money I made was Uni in 2011; 300-level and I just sold something that made me ₦2,500. I remember sending part of the money to my siblings. I think I bought them airtime.

    “Are you sure you have to send me this money? You need it o.” That’s what my brother said.

    But anyway, my next first salary was my NYSC salary, and it wasn’t just the usual ₦19,800. My Place of Primary Assignment also paid me ₦65k.

    Then to my first post-NYSC salary, my take-home was ₦136k. The annual package was about ₦3.15 mil. (Annual package is the total income earned that year, and they’ll include the money that gets taxed, paid to the pension manager and bonuses).

     

    Where does your money go?

    So first, I’m always saving. When my salary enters, my personal rule is to not touch it, until I’ve first of all looked at my budget. I have a budget on lock till December because I have projects, travel plans. So I have to know at what point I need to pay for what, and when I’ll be able to afford it. 

    I like to think about my savings in two brackets; short term and long term. My long-term savings is about ₦310k, and it’s for the more tangible things, like investments. My short term is around ₦25k every month. 

    I also have to say that it’s very rare for me to save the whole long-term savings every month. It happens somewhere around once in 3 months.

     

    For my running costs, I don’t have a lot of expenses so I always budget about ₦60k. 

    This isn’t always realistic though. Sometimes, all it takes is one day of reckless grocery shopping.

    When it’s looking like I’m going to be in trouble, I just pause–check my account, wallet, everything. Then I check my remaining commitments and bills for the rest of the month. I may have to adjust some things or borrow.

    But as long as I’m not taking Ubers, or spending too much on food, staying super-conscious, I’m good.

     

    What do you spend the short-term savings on?

    Small things tend to pop up–like bridal showers and the occasional Aso-Ebi – like once in 3 years. I tend to be selective about the Aso-Ebi I indulge in, and it’s not even about the money. I think it’s an imposition, and it’s cancelled in my books. 

     

    But to be honest, what tends to take the bulk of my money is fresh food. Every other weekend, I might just blow like 4k. I used to have a groceries budget. Used to.

     

    My Uber budget has almost disappeared because I have a car now. My ₦6,500 full tank lasts me for 2 and a half weeks.

    I still Uber every now and then. Public transport to work used to cost me ₦400 a day, to and fro. It was actually ₦300–the extra ₦100 is for the occasional fruits I buy en route.

     

    What do you think about what you currently earn?

    I dunno, really. I never realise how little I was earning, just until I’m earning more. But I’m content with it. 

     

    What was the old job like?

    It was quite prestigious. You walk into a room–any room–tell them where you work, and everyone falls in line. But it was also die-on-the-job work. It trains you to become a soldier. After 2 years, I quit mostly because I was looking for a better quality of life.

    Now, I’m lucky to be at a job where I have a good quality of life and I earn good money.

     

    Realistically, what is great money for you?

    First of all, it can’t even be in Naira.

     

    How much money are we talking here?

    Bastard money. Just leave it like that.

     

    What’s something you can’t afford but totally want now?

    Property. It’s not even a want. You should always be looking to own property because you can’t be paying rent in this Lagos. But for how long will I save to buy a property of ₦30 million really?

    What does your ₦250k/year rent currently fetch you?

    Oh a studio apartment–one room, a kitchen and a bathroom. You know, my leave allowance used to be my rent money. My former job used to pay my leave allowance in the month rent was due. 

     

    Do you ever think about retirement?

    I really haven’t thought about it, but maybe I’ll go to where rich people are, find someone to marry me, then start doing rich people things.

    …

    Okay on a serious note, I know the goal is to find something I enjoy doing to the point that I don’t have to retire. Currently, I’m not there yet, I’m just winging my whole career. 

    Once in a while, I just remember “oh, we have this pension thing!” and then I check. It was a little over ₦1.6 million at my last check.

     

    What’s the last thing you paid for that required serious planning?

    My car. All of my long term savings last year went into my car. I copped it for ₦2.9 million. My agent gave me a pretty good deal.

     

    Tell me the most stressful miscellaneous you’ve had to pay for?

    Definitely car trouble. ₦25k or so. Or when I have to fix something in the house, like the annoying plumbing that spoils overnight. 

    I’m constantly over-planning, so big expenses hardly catch me unawares.

     

    So, you have an emergency fund?

    Remember that 20-something-thousand? That’s supposed to be my emergency fund–in fact, I named it “Contingency” in my spreadsheet. So by the end of the month, I’m like “wait, no emergency. Oh, nice. Spend that money girl.”

    Another bad habit I have is that, say I budget ₦40k for something and it comes at ₦20k, I just go yayyyyy, and then I blow the rest on food.

     

    This financial satisfaction thing, where will you say you are at right now?

    Between ₦136k to ₦416k, I think there’s a point you get to where you’re just okay. You don’t have to worry about some basic stuff–a comfort zone. So about life satisfaction, I’m content.

     

    When did you hit the comfort zone?

    I’m not sure, but the move that gave me peace of mind also gave me good money. My previous take-home when I quit was ₦256k, so it was both.

     

    About that annoying 5-year question;

    I’ve always failed this. People ask me, and they’re never satisfied with my answer. They find this hard to believe, but I’m not the most ambitious. I’m not big on ambition, but I can’t compromise on competence. I believe in cultivating competence, even if all that’s required of you is washing plate at The Place.

    Career-wise, I’m totally winging it.

     

    Let’s try this question again, but short-term.

    One of my goals this year is to actively seek out investment opportunities. I did a 7-year Sukuk bond in 2017 that will give me a 16% profit. I also invested in an Online Agric investment platform in October 2018. You pay like ₦250k in stages and you get an estimated ₦100k profit.

    Also, there’s the ₦50k Ajo I just do with the money I don’t really need with part of my long term savings.

    When it comes, I’m balling.

     

    You do pretty well with money.

    To be honest, I think knowing where you are with money gives you power. I know what I can’t afford for the rest of the year. When I get paid, I don’t touch my money until I look at my budget. Like, I’m always rushing to my laptop to check my spreadsheet before I touch it. I also have a separate account for my running costs.

     

    Any side hustles?

    I have this one where I’ve put in a total of about ₦200k. I started last year, selling stuff online with a friend. We split the damage 50/50. We’re on our third inventory cycle, and for the first time, we don’t have to put any money into it.

     

    3rd inventory?

    Yeah, the stuff we sell. The first inventory, we put in money of course. The 2nd cycle, we put in a little less money. Then the 3rd cycle, the only reason we put in money was to increase our inventory.

     

    How’s that going?

    We sell on Jumia, and that one is pretty easy. But the Instagram part? If selling on Instagram will not teach you patience, nothing will. Constant engagement is exhausting.

     

    I’m thinking about what you said earlier about ‘quality of life’

    Quality of life for me means quiet in my head. I just want to be able to slow down, and think clearly. Not necessarily money. I remember this one night at my last job:

    I’m working overnight with two other superiors. Between them is a total of 25 years of work experience. I totally respect their commitment to the work, but I know right there that I don’t want to live like that for long.

     

    That moment was my trigger.

     

    Check back every Monday at 9 am for peeks into the Naira Life of everyday people.

    If you’d love to share your Naira Life with us, tell us here. You’ll be anon, of course 🙂

     

  • Nigerians treat money like knacks; they want a lot of it, but won’t be caught talking about it. Every week, we ask anonymous Nigerians to show us their Naira Life – some will be struggle-ish, others boujee–but all the time, it’ll be revealing.

    (Shout out to Refinery29’s Money Diaries for the inspiration.)

     

    First in line is a family man who believes he’s a diehard team player.

    Age: 37

    Occupation: Financial Analyst

    Location: Lagos

    Relationship Status: Married (with two kids)

    Salary: ₦700,000 (net)

    Household income: ₦700,000

    Rent: ₦750,000/year

     

    What was the first salary like?

    I mostly spent on people; family for the most part. I was quite traditional about it. I remember sending all of it to my mum as a gesture, and her sending it back to me. My net income at the time was ₦182k, and my annual package was ₦2.8 million. That, of course, includes bonuses and all of that. Also, this was 2010.

    Less than 2% of your income goes into savings?

    Yes, and that’s because the rest of my income goes into settling debts and other recurring commitments and liabilities. Also, I have this indiscipline of people asking for money and me not turning them down. Those 20 and 30k’s add up.

    Investments?

    None. I currently have no financial investments. I made some investments two years ago; they went bad, and I’m still paying for it. That’s where the debt came from. It’ll be completely paid in about six months though. For now, over 50% of my income goes into settling that debt.

    What’s going to change about your spending when the debts are paid?

    A lot more of it can now go to my family. Need to push up that family budget.

    2019, almost 9 years since your first salary. What’s the annual package now?

    My annual package is currently at ₦9.4 million.

    How much do you feel like you should be earning now?

    ₦1 million. Net. I didn’t make some important switches in my career at the right time. Now, I believe you should move every 4 years max. I spent 7 years at my first job.

    How much do you think you’d be earning in five years?

    Using industry average, and where I currently am, I’d say somewhere between 1.5 and ₦1.8 million, net.

    What do you feel like you should have had, but don’t have now?

    Land. It’s just one type of investment I never really paid attention to. I just had a “never tie down capital” mentality. Most of my investments have actually brought me loss. Still, I’m not scared to take another risk.

    Despite your bad investments, what are your best investments?

    Definitely my certifications; the ICANs, ACAs, ACSes etc. When you work in an industry as structured as the financial industry, certifications help you stay competitive and valuable. Also, I’m kinda glad I got most of those certifications before I got married. 

    When do you want to retire?

    You know, I used to think I’d retire at 45, but I realise now that I’m not a great businessman. It took a while to realise this, but I’m going to be working till the end, maybe 60. I’m the perfect company man; great energy, always representing, putting in the work for the team. I’m usually the person sharing impactful insights, and driving execution.

    What’s your pension plan?

    I don’t pay too much mind to it, but about 50-something-k goes into the pension account monthly. Currently, it holds no less than ₦4 million. It doesn’t make sense to me that I have that much somewhere–that is giving me about 7% annually but still–I can’t afford a house. I’ve done the math, and my pension is going to work best for me if I already own a house.

    I imagine that the best use of my pension will be one where it helps me get a mortgage. I imagine a future where Pension Fund Managers in Nigeria create housing packages for consumers. If I have a ₦20 million pension and don’t own my house, I’m still screwed.

    I inherited a mindset from my mum where I always imagined that I’d buy a house, instead of going through the trouble of building one. I was much younger, and that doesn’t seem so realistic now.

    What are you long term plans at the moment?

    I’ve been in debt for too long that it’s hard to see beyond it. At ₦700k, I can build a house in 3 years, because I really don’t have huge personal expenses. I’m just caught in the debt trap. At ₦700k, and with the responsibilities of family, I’d still be able to save ₦150k at least. In fact, 40% of my entire income can go into saving and investing.

    What do you wish you paid attention to in 2010?

    Discipline. I wish I’d began saving and investing early.

    How would you rate your happiness on a scale of 0-10?

    I’m really glad a lot of my happiness isn’t tied to my finances because I’d probably have high BP now. I’m totally fine. And while this might sound cliche, I have a family. I invest a lot of time in them, and it’s easy to underestimate how important this is for our future and mental wellbeing.

     

    My head is still above water, and for that, I’m grateful.

    Check back every Monday at 9 am for peeks into the Naira Life of everyday people.

    If you’d love to share your Naira Life with us, tell us here. You’ll be anon, of course 🙂

  • Is it just me or does it feel like Nigeria has been caught in a loop of “bracing for tough times” for like 3 decades now?

     

    Remember when Isaac Newton said that whatever goes up must come down? Well, Isaac never encountered prices in Nigeria’s economy. The seemingly never-ending rise in prices of well…everything is due to the increases in Nigeria’s inflation rate, which has gone up once again.

     

    From 11.28% in November 2018 to 11.44% in December 2018.

     

    You guys, this is terrible news, but please try not to freak out. Here’s a gif of an enchanted waterfall to relax your nerves.

    The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) revealed this in its CPI and Inflation Report for December 2018, released on the 16th of January 2019. The report stated that with a 0.16% increase from the last recorded figure in November 2018, this is the highest inflation figure since June 2018.

    You see, inflation in Nigeria is measured using the changes in the Consumer Price Index (CPI) observed over a period of time. The CPI measures the change in the prices of certain goods and services consumed by households on a daily basis. These changes are monitored in urban and rural areas (urban and rural inflation rate) in all 36 states in the country.

     

    The goods and services that are monitored are split into different categories and ranked in order of importance. Here’s a list:

    – Food and non-alcoholic beverages – Housing, water, electricity, gas, and other fuels – Clothing and footwear – Transport – Furnishings and household equipment maintenance – Education – Health – Miscellaneous goods and services – Restaurants and hotels – Alcoholic beverages, tobacco, and narcotics – Communications – Recreation and culture

     

    According to experts, price increases in all these categories (a major contributor to the inflation rate) can be attributed to the spending habits of consumers during the 2018 festive period.

    Kinda.

     

    On a year-on-year basis, urban inflation rate increased to 11.73%  in December 2018 from 11.61% recorded in November of the same year, while rural inflation rate increased to 11.18% in December 2018 from 10.99% in November 2018.

     

    On a month-on-month basis, the report said urban inflation rate by 0.76% in December, down by 0.07% from 0.83% in November, while the rural inflation rate also rose by 0.72%  in December, down by 0.06% per cent from the rate recorded in November, which was 0.78%.

    What does this mean for us? Well, in a nutshell:

    And to make things worse, it’s most likely going to last for a big chunk of 2019 due to the following reasons:

     

    –  Spending by political hopefuls during the elections. – High levels of insecurity in food-producing states. – Expectations of a higher minimum wage.  – Movement of the Naira through the foreign exchange market. – A possible hike in electricity tariffs.

     

    On top of all that,  the World Bank hinted a while back that there might be a possible increase in food prices in 2019 due to terrible weather conditions.

    WHO DID WE OFFEND?!