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Does it seem like every week someone you know is leaving the country? or everyone you know is making plans to leave?

Well, for every successful person, there are ten other people whose tale did not have a happy ending. Here are some of the stories.

Alex – 25.

“I have taken the IELTS (test of English exam) almost seven times. I am tired because I keep getting 6.5 in writing and I just need 7.0 to go to Canada under express entry. I earn N120,000 per month and each month, for the past 7 months, I have had to remove almost N80,000 for the exam. As you see me, I don’t have savings and I don’t have IELTS.”

Taiwo – 26.

“After getting a scholarship for my Masters in the U.S, those fuckers denied me visa. I have money in my account, stellar grades, and admission letter. So, what’s their problem? I tried to appeal three times last year and I wasted my time because no difference. The last appeal was in Abuja and I almost had an accident because I was rushing to the airport so I wouldn’t miss my flight from Lagos. In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea telling the bike man to “gbera”.

It can pain sha. All the wasted time and effort with nothing to show for it.”

Deola – 24.

“See, beware of who you call your friend. Not everyone that smiles with you wishes you well. I got a year-long loan from a friend but I didn’t tell him what it was for. I fixed it in my account to use as proof of funds for migration. Somehow, my friend found out that I wanted to leave the country and he called me saying I think I am better than him and is he the one that doesn’t need money to leave?

He sha asked me to return his money in 24hours or risk police wahala. I have not been that confused in my life. My mum eventually had to take a loan for me to settle this matter. God bless that woman mehn.“

Razaq – 37.

“I lost my job in 2018. Losing your job is not the end of the world because you can bounce back, however, it is proving difficult. Everyone says that they can’t afford to pay me because I have experience. Even after requesting for a pay cut, no response still. It’s frustrating because I have a family to take care of.

Since I lost my job, I have been considering leaving. If Nigeria is good, will I even think of leaving?

See, I want my kids to play football and not have to struggle like this. I have been trying to get a work permit to even go first and then send for my family once I settle. Last year, someone on LinkedIn promised me a Dubai work visa and duped me of N1 million. I am trying the U.K now with another person and it seems legit. Only time will tell.“
In 2018, Genevieve Nnaji’s directorial debut, Lionheart became Netflix’s first original film from Nigeria. Now, after unveiling the Netflix Naija Twitter account, the streaming giant has announced its first Nigerian series.

The untitled six-part drama will be helmed by acclaimed director, Akin Omotoso (Vaya). Daniel Oriahi (Sylvia) and C.J. Obasi (Ojuju) will direct alongside Omotoso, while Dami Elebe (Skinny Girl In Transit) will co-write.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ade Laoye (@adelaoye) on Feb 28, 2020 at 1:26am PST

The Lagos-set series will follow the story of Kemi, a goddess reincarnated as a human to avenge her sister’s death. But first, she must learn how to harness her superpowers to defeat her enemies and save her family.

Ade Laoye and Kate Henshaw are the series leads, and they are joined by an impressive supporting cast that includes: Richard Mofe-Damijo, Joke Silva, Ireti Doyle, Tope Tedala, Bimbo Akintola, Kehinde Bankole and more.

(Photo: Ade Laoye in Knock Out Blessing)

About making more Nigerian content, Netflix’s chief content officer, Ted Sarandos said:

“Movies like King of Boys, Merry Men and The Bling Lagosian have shown how much our members love Nigerian movies.

So, we’re incredibly excited to be investing in [more Nigerian] stories — bringing them to audiences all around the world.”

Netflix’s first African original series, Queen Sono from South Africa just premiered to acclaim from critics. Hopefully, Nigeria’s first series, which currently has no release date, will enjoy a similar fate when it drops.
At one point or the other, we have probably heard a dog owner say “it doesn’t bite, don’t be scared.” And at that point in time, our fear levels tripled because why is the owner taking out time to warn me that the dog doesn’t bite?

Is the owner in the mind of the dog? Did the dog whisper it to the owner?

Every action that the dog performs is exaggerated because of fear. Here are examples of such:

1) When the dog wags its tail.

The dog is threatening me with the countdown.

2) When it starts to lick you.

I am not sweet, I just recovered from Malaria yesterday.

3) Any small jump.

I won’t fall for your trick you devil.

4) When it starts to bark.

Boss abeg na.

5) Gingerly bites you.

Owner: It is just playing with you.

Me: Mschew.

In case you missed this, you should read this.
For a while now, Coronavirus has been making the rounds with different countries reporting a new case every day. In Nigeria, we have been spectators since the first incident was reported and we empathized from afar.

However, yesterday, the Nigerian Center for Disease Control informed us of the first reported case of Coronavirus in Nigeria. They also released a press statement concerning the issue and here’s what you should know.

1) The infected person is an Italian citizen who just returned from Milan.

2) The Government in partnership with relevant stakeholders is managing the situation well.

3) We should all take these necessary precautions and be safe.

Please call the toll free number if you suspect anything funny with you or around you. Also, follow the Lagos State Ministry of Health for the latest updates on the outbreak.

4) Please, don’t panic or engage in misinformation.

You should definitely read this to learn more about Corona Virus and how to properly wear a face mask.
1. When it’s been days since a Nigerian man last cheated.

The withdrawal symptoms always hit hard.

2. When they see a woman that isn’t their wife.

Literally any woman.

3. Married Nigerian men, a minute after meeting a new babe:

Just like that?

4. The unofficial married Nigerian man motto:

Must be obeyed at all costs.

5. When you ask them if they are married.

What does that even mean?

6. When you remind a Nigerian man that he is married.

Na so.

7. “I wish I met you before her.”

The lies. The lies. The lies.

8. “If only I wasn’t married.”

See this one.

9. Him, whenever you bring up his wife:

(Photo: Twitter/@hotplantain_)

10. How they drag babes with single men:

Please, go and focus on your wife.

11. Nigerian men becoming single right after saying “I do.”

Most of the grooms. https://t.co/FOtgoA4vcF
— Jola (@Jollz) December 16, 2019

12. How they divide their money between you and their family:

A generous king.

13. When you tell them to leave their wife.

Oh? Now, you rate her?
Is your soulmate an absolute stunner or are they simply beautiful on the inside? Well, whether you’ve met them or not, this quiz will let you know just how good-looking the person you’ll inevitably end up with is.

Take to find out:
Stress management in Nigeria sounds ironic as if you can manage all the stress Nigeria throws at you. It’s like driving with a blindfold – it just doesn’t make sense. That’s how a typical day in Nigeria is.

However, if you follow these tested and trusted tips, Nigeria won’t kill you. You will kill it instead.

Shall we?

1) Don’t watch the News.

Seriously, watching the news especially Nigerian news is a risk factor for high blood pressure. There are just so many ridiculous things happening all at once that the country feels like it is burning. You don’t need that energy.

2) If you watch the News, regard it as comedy.

If you must watch the news, take it as a parody. Don’t take it too seriously so you don’t get worked up.

3) When in stress, chant Mafo.

If it gets overwhelming, as it happens occasionally, look into a mirror and chant *mafo three times. That usually does the trick.

*Mafo – Don’t panic.

4) Let your house be as close to your office as possible.

It’s important that one of the things you get right as a Nigerian is the proximity of your office to the house. At least remove one more stressor from your life and when work gets tiring, go home for a nap.

5) Always thank the Government for any success you make.

If you are an entrepreneur or a disruptor, make sure that any success you get, you attribute it to Government policy. Even if you provided your light, water, etc. Never annoy the Government if you still want to be in business longterm. Save yourself from stress today and thank the Government.

6) Develop a thick skin.

No matter what is currently happening, always know it can be worse. Don’t let anything move you too much because something always more unbelievable will top it.

7) If all fails, Jaapa.

You didn’t kill your parents so don’t allow this country kill you. Pack your stuff and leave for better.

Did you miss this? You should read this.
Artisans are some of the most disappointing sets of people in the country and all of them are in the same Whatsapp group. However, Nigerian tailors are the admin of this group. They are the definition of overpromise and fail.

Sadly, there are things that have disappointed Nigerians more than tailors ever will.

Let’s begin:

1) Yakubu missing open net.

The North remembers.

2) Vision 2020.

Okay oh.

3) Trump banning immigration visas.

*Government approved sigh*

4) If I speak I am in big trouble.

God when?

5) Rat infestation in our “White House.”

Don’t believe us? See for yourself.

6) NEPA/PHCN.

LOL.

7) Asa and Naeto C not releasing the video for “Share My Blessings.”

What a conundrum.

8) No Mo’Hits reunion.

One more song for old times sake.

9) PSquare’s break up.

Truly, the game is over.

You should definitely read this.
Nigerian nurses go through a lot and are unappreciated. They work long hours and earn anyhow wages.

With that in mind, we asked them some of the things that must stop in 2020 and here’s what they said:

1) “I can’t show Nurse my bum bum.”

Sorry ohhh.

2) “You’re a Nurse, that’s big money abroad.”

Write IELTS for me na.

3) “Did you choose to study Nursing or Medicine?”

Vice-chancellor pls.

4) “I heard Nurses are good in bed.”

Better focus on your sickness.

5) “Come and check my B.p or temperature.”

That’s not my only job.

6) “Nurses are wicked.”

You and who?

7) “But the Doctor said…”

Will you keep quiet. We are a team and we have communicated.

8) “Aunty Nurse come to my house and chook me love injection.”

If I sound you.

9) “Your hand is painful.”

Let’s respect ourselves.
Depending on the kind of person you are, your relationship with your exes could be great or really toxic. This quiz will tell you how your exes feel about you. Do they think you’re the one that got away or the worst mistake they’ve ever made?

Take to find out: