• Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    After a series of lootings in Lagos State, Babajide Sanwo-Olu, the governor of the state, declared that the state will need ₦1 trillion to fix the damages incurred.

    There have also been allegations of fraud and financial misappropriation against the speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly. 

    Due to this, there has been public scrutiny on the Lagos State and the Lagos State House of Assembly’s disbursement of funds. We decided to break down the financial statement of Lagos State to get a true picture of the financial situation of the state.

    1. Lagos State earned ₦644 billion in 2019

    The total amount paid to the state for the economic value it offers is calculated as revenue.

    Economic value includes the services that the state renders to its citizens and the country, from which it is paid back in taxes, allocations and other monies.

    This revenue is divided into “non-exchange transactions” and “exchange transactions”.

    Exchange transactions are transactions where two people buy and sell from each other. In a non-exchange transaction, there is no sale of any goods, and only one party takes from the other. An example of a non-exchange transaction is taxes and levies.

    The money Lagos got from non-exchange transactions in 2019 include: 

    • Taxation income – ₦348,001,113,000 billion .
    • Levies, fees and fines – ₦26,597,553,000 billion. 
    • Statutory allocation – ₦229,495,389,000 billion.
    •  Grants – ₦483,934,000 million.
    •  Other revenue from non-exchange transactions – ₦3,958,723,000 billion.

    Exchange transactions include: 

    • Income from other sources –  refers to money gotten from private sector development programmes, such as the Lekki-Ikoyi toll revenue, proceeds from hospital units and other miscellaneous revenues. This revenue was  ₦24,014,757,000 billion.
    • Capital receipts – ₦8,972,888, 000 billion.
    • Investment income – ₦2,077,847,000 billion.
    • Interest income -₦1,161,184,000 billion.

    The total operating revenue of the state was ₦644,762,788,000.

    Read: This Is Lagos

    2. Lagos State spent ₦278 billion in 2019

    From the gross revenue of the state, the state spent ₦278,551,391,000 billion on expenses, leaving it with ₦366,211,397,000 billion.

    The ₦278 billion expenses went to: 

    • Wages, salaries and employee benefits – ₦107,132,214,000 billion.
    • Grants and other transfers – ₦16,626,164 billion.
    • Subvention to parastatals – ₦53,445,714 billion.
    • General and administrative expenses – ₦101,347,300 billion.

    3. Other losses, charges and expenses amounted to  ₦366 billion

    After spending ₦278 billion on operating expenses, Lagos State further incurred losses in these respects:

    • Capital expenditure134,521,650,000 billion.
    • Public debt charges62,533,163 billion.
    • Net loss on foreign exchange transactions – (2,332,949,000 billion).
    • Depreciation104,491,678 billion.

    4. Lagos State had a ₦66 billion surplus for the 2019 financial year.

    After spending ₦278 billion on recurrent expenditure, and losing ₦366 billion on capital expenses, foreign exchange losses, public debt charges and depreciation, Lagos State had a surplus of ₦66,997,855,000 billion for the 2019 financial year.

    5. Lagos State’s total asset is ₦2.4 trillion

    Assets are divided into current assets and non-current assets.

    Current assets include: 

    • Cash and cash equivalents – ₦33,349,831,000 billion. 
    • Receivables from exchange transactions – ₦325,268,000,000 billion. 
    • Receivables from non-exchange transactions – ₦31,961,939,000 billion.
    • Inventory – ₦3,076,959,000 billion.

    Non-current assets include: 

    • Available for sale investments – valued at ₦49,665,927,000 billion .
    • Other financial assets – valued at ₦16,453,704,000 billion.
    • Property, plant and equipment (PPE) – valued at ₦2,271,309,527 trillion.

    Read: Money

    6. Lagos State has total liabilities of 957 billion 

    Liabilities are divided into current and non-current liabilities.

    Current liabilities include:

    • Payables and other liabilities  – ₦123,543,010 billion .
    • Public funds – ₦434,004,000 million .
    • Public debt (borrowings) – ₦101,234,508,000 billion.
    • Finance lease obligations – ₦2,769,303,000 billion.

    Non-current liabilities include: 

    • Public debt (borrowings) – ₦684,608,927,000 billion.
    • Finance lease obligations – ₦3,099,800,000 billion.
    • Retirement benefits obligations – ₦41,857,304,000 billion.

    From this breakdown, Lagos State spent ₦134 billion to build infrastructure in 2019. So, spending ₦1 trillion to rebuild the state would equal the state’s capital expenditure for over six years, if we take into account the impact of inflation.

    For more on Lagos State’s audited financial statements, check here.

    Read: Lagos New Taxes Will Send Everyone Back To Their Village

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.


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  • Recently, a lot of us have had reason to be proud of Nigeria. A lot of people are even famzing us. To prove you’re a true Nigerian, show off how much you know about your country.

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  • Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    There has been a curious observation that Nigerian police officers are off the streets. This is coming after the wave of violence that greeted the curfew order imposed in Lagos State and other states in Nigeria following the #EndSARS protests and the highly controversial #LekkiMassacre

    But if police officers are truly off the streets, there’s only one thing that can happen next — anarchy. 

    Hoodlums, thugs and other miscreants will cause mayhem and unleash havoc on the lives and properties of many citizens, and there will be widespread lawlessness. And maybe it is already happening.

    But Why Are The Police Off The Streets — Fear or Anger?

    Over the past few days, the police have maintained that 22 of their officers have been killed in wave of violence that spiraled after the #EndSARS protests, and that 205 police stations were destroyed in the mayhem.

    Other reports also claim that, at least, 17 police stations were destroyed in Lagos alone, including the loss of about 205 “security assets”.

    10 firearms, including 8 AK-47 rifles were also reportedly taken away from police stations during the violent attacks.

    It is this attack on Nigerian police officers that is said to have affected the morale of members of the police force, with many of them preferring to stay in their barracks rather than return to the streets or police stations for fear of being attacked or killed.

    Meanwhile, the Police Service Commission, the body that monitors the conduct of police officers, has directed the striking police officers to return back to their duty posts or face dismissal.

    Read: Who Has Powers Over The Nigeria Police Force?

    Illegal Arrests

    But the police are altogether not complicit in this situation. Following attacks on police stations and police officers, the Inspector General of Police, Muhammed Adamu, stated that the police had arrested 1,596 suspects in connection with the attacks and the subsequent looting all over the country. 

    However, the way and manner these “suspects” are being treated leaves more questions to be answered.

    Many of the arrested suspects have been held in detention for days, without access to necessities like food and water, or even communication with their family and friends.

    In many instances, the police round up suspects, parade them and presume they are guilty, even without the pronouncement of the court to this effect.

    Read: Here’s All You Need To Know About The #AbujaPoliceRaidOnWomen

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.


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  • You’re probably wondering why Nigerians don’t celebrate Halloween. We would love to, honestly, but Nigeria is a conglomeration of problems, and you don’t know which one you will trigger by deciding to dress like your grandfather’s ghost from 1842. Here’s a list of possible things that can happen if Halloween was celebrated in Nigeria.

    1. That will be the night your village people will manifest.

    Image

    And you know how that can end.

    2. You’ll go trick or treating only to end up as a sacrificial goat.

    Jehovah God of mercy.

    3. You’ll collect candy from your neighbours and find yourself flying at 12 am in the midnight.

    Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: High Priest Reveals Why Witches Are Not Killed In Edo  State

    Ordinary sweet oh. Ordinary sweet.

    4. Costumes can become real, like play like joke.

    Them no go know say na Halloween you go celebrate.

    5. The venue of your Halloween party can turn to real-life Koto Aye set.

    And then trouble will arise.

    If, you still decide to go ahead and celebrate Halloween, here’s a list of costumes you can choose from – 8 Scary Nigerian Things You Can Dress As For Halloween This Year

  • Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    Yesterday, a series of videos surfaced online of how lawmakers in the Lagos State House of Assembly tore into Nigerian youths. From claims ranging from the fact that many Nigerian youths are into “hard drugs”, to claims of how “social media influencers” over-exaggerated the #LekkiMassacre, the lawmakers poured out their hearts at the legislative sitting of the house.

    But did you know that lawmakers cannot be prosecuted for anything that is said on the floor of the legislative chamber, or house?

    Read: Can Nigerians Vote For A New Constitution?

    Legislative Immunity

    Courtesy of Section 1 of the Legislative Houses (Powers and Privileges) Act of 2018, no lawmaker can be sued to court for words spoken or written at sessions or committee hearings of the legislative house.

    This means that irrespective of what lawmakers say on the floor of the house, no case can be brought against them in court for what they have said or written.

    So, if a lawmaker says that a majority of Nigerian youths are on drugs, and even if they don’t have the facts to back up the statement, no legal action can be taken against the person for what they have said.

    What Is The Way Out?

    As a citizen of Nigeria, if you are not pleased with what your elected lawmaker has said on the floor of the house, you can recall them.

    We outlined the process here.

    Read: How to Recall A Silent Senator

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.


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  • President Buhari’s last televised message to Nigerians has been living in my head, rent-free. Not only did he ignore most of what he was supposed to talk about, he somehow used most of the time to brag about how much his government has done to alleviate poverty in Nigeria. Which is insane because:

    This happened in 2018 btw. 3 years after Buhari came into power.

    Buhari’s constant bragging made me look up some of the poverty alleviation schemes that have been initiated by members of the government since he came into power in 2015. Here are 5 I found.

    1) That time the First Lady of Bauchi State distributed bags of pure water to women as start-up capital.

    Yes. In June 2020, Dr Aisha Bala Muhammed empowered some women in the state by giving them 10 bags of pure water each so they could start businesses with. To understand how insane this is, a bag of water costs like N100. You do the math.

    2) That time a member of the Zamfara House of Representatives distributed basins, coal irons, and detergent to the youths.

    Kabiru Amadu, popularly referred to as Mai-Palace, did this in July 2020 as a way to empower the youths in his constituency.

    3) That time the minister of humanitarian affairs, disaster management and social development, Sadiya Umar Farouk, flagged off a Federal Government Special Grant of N20,000 to 700,000 rural women.

    Financially empowered with N20,000? Girl…

    4) That time the Nigerian Presidency’s Twitter account announced that payments of N30,000 were ongoing to 330,000 artisans across Nigeria in an Artisan Support Scheme but this happened:

    Girl, I…

    5) That time they gave out tricycles and moped scooters.

    This is funny and infuriating because whenever Nigerian youth do exceptional shit in world-class fields (e.g. Paystack’s recent acquisition), the government tries to take credit for it.

    But keke napeps are their idea of youth empowerment. Tueh.

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  • Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    Nigerians are wondering if we can vote for a new constitution.

    The curiosity began, again, when Chileans voted on October 25, 2020, for a new constitution. 78% of Chileans voted in the referendum that the constitution should be re-written, and 79% voted that the constitution should be written by new writers elected by the people. Curiously, the “Chilean revolt” has gotten Nigerians wondering if we can also vote for a new constitution.

    Read: Hello Nigerian Constitution, We Have Some Amendments To Suggest

    What Is A Referendum?

    A referendum is a general vote by the people on a single political decision which has been referred to them for a direct decision.

    A referendum can be a nationwide vote on whether a country should change its old constitution to a new constitution, or whether it should make a policy decision or not.

    An example of a popular referendum in action is the “United Kingdom European Union Membership Referendum” of 2016, which is popularly known as the “Brexit referendum”. In that referendum, 52% of UK citizens voted to leave the European Union, and 48% voted that the UK should remain in the European Union.

    The vote is binding, and the UK left the European Union on January 31st, 2020.

    Can Nigerians Partake In A Referendum?

    There is no provision in the Nigerian constitution that provides for a direct referendum in the constitution.

    However, Section 14(a) of the Nigerian constitution states that “sovereignty belongs to the people of Nigeria from whom government through this constitution derives all its powers and authorities”.

    Section 14 (b) states that “the security and welfare of the people shall be the primary purpose of government”.

    Still, the constitution does not state exactly how the Nigerian people can vote to change or amend the constitution, or even for or against any political issue, even though it declares that “sovereignty belongs to the people”.

    Read: How To Impeach An Incompetent President

    Who Can Change The Constitution?

    Under Nigerian laws, lawmakers have almost all the powers to amend the constitution. Section 8 and 9 of the constitution dictates the processes by which the constitution can be amended, most of which leaves the powers in the hands of the national assembly and state houses of assembly.

    Some people have recommended that Nigeria should set up a “National Referendum Commission”, going by the provisions of Section 14 of the constitution that “sovereignty belongs to the Nigerian people”, and even the government and the constitution derive their powers from the people.

    Also, many democracies in the world have a provision for referendum in their constitution. Article 2(1) of the Romanian Constitution, for instance, provides that:


    “National Sovereignty belongs to the Romanian people who shall exercise it through their representative bodies, established as a result of free periodic and fair elections, as well as by means of a Referendum.”

    So, if Nigeria has referendums often, so many national issues can be easily solved like whether different Nigerian tribes still want to stay together as one or whether Nigerians want a particular government policy or not.

    As it stands, lawmakers and political leaders make almost all the political decisions on behalf of the Nigerian people.

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.


    Hello, if you have been impacted by our work, please donate to Zikoko. Cheers!

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  • Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    Nigeria’s youth unemployment is growing. But on October 22nd, 2020, in his highly anticipated broadcast to the nation, the president mentioned that his administration had put in place a lot of programs to help Nigerian youths, including Tradermoni, Farmermoni, Npower and so many other social investment programs.

    We decided to look at the unemployment data to see how Nigerian youths are really faring.

    What is unemployment?

    According to the International Labour Organisation, an unemployed person refers to someone above 15 years who is available for work, is actively looking for work and meets three conditions:

    1. is without unemployment and has not worked for at least one hour during the survey period;
    2. is available to take up employment within two weeks;
    3. actively looked for a job within the past month or will take up a job starting within the next three months.

    Now, according to the Nigerian Bureau of Statistics in its unemployment report released in August this year:

    • The number of people in the economically active or working-age population of 15-64 years was 116, 871,186 people, 1.2% higher than the figure recorded as at September 2018, which was 115,492,969.
    • However, the number of people in the labour force between the ages 15-64 who are willing and able to work was 80,291,894. Of this number, those within the age bracket of 25-34 are highest, making up 23,308, 460 of the labour force or 29.1% of the labour force.
    • The total number of people in employment (people with jobs) during the survey period was 58, 527, 276. Of this number, 35,585, 274 were full-time employed (i.e worked 40+ hours per week, while 22,942,003 were under-employed (i.e working between 20-29 hours per week). 15.8% of the employed were under-employed.
    • The unemployment rate as at June 2020 was 27.1% up from the 23.1% recorded as at September 2018. Underemployment rate also increased from 20.1% as at September 2018 to 28.6% as at June 2020.
    • As at June 2020, the unemployment rate among young people was 34.9% up from 29.7%, while underemployment for the same age group rose to 28.2% from 25.7% as at September 2018. 
    • The unemployment rate among rural dwellers was 28% up from 23.9% as at September 2018, while urban dwellers reported a rate of 25.4% up from 21.2%. Under-employment among rural dwellers also rose to 31.5% from 22.8%, while the rate among urban dwellers rose to 23.2% from 13.7% as at September 2018.

    5 Important Things

    1. Around 80 million Nigerians are willing and able to work.
    2. 58 million of these 80 million are employed (fully employed and under-employed).
    3. 23 million people within this 58 million workforce are between the ages of 25-34 years.
    4. 22 million Nigerians are unemployed.
    5. 13.9 million Nigerian youths are unemployed.

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.

  • Becoming a Nigerian politician is a long and tedious process many people are unwilling to go through. But we’ve hacked it for you and broken it down into these 10 simple steps so that you can become a Nigerian politician and start living your best life.

    1. You have to start by becoming a political activist.

    Call out corrupt politicians on every platform possible and amass a large following. Renounce politics and all politicians because they are the devil’s spawn. Make it clear that you’d rather sell your kidney than become one of them.

    2. When you’ve become a very well known activist and a voice of the people, use your popularity to collect political appointment from the same people you were criticising.

    After you collect your appointment jump through hoops to defend your appointees and blame everything on the previous government. Rain is falling too much? The previous government embezzled the money that was meant to pay rainmakers to hold the rain.

    3. Now, start making promises that you have no intention of ever keeping.

    You will give Nigerians 24/7 light and free WiFi. You will build 20 schools in one week. You will reduce the exchange rate to $1 to ₦1. With you, corruption shall go to an early grave.

    4. As you progress in your political career decide whether it’s broom or umbrella you want to be carrying.

    There are 68 political parties in Nigeria but you know the fastest way to get a post is to carry broom or umbrella.

    5. Next find yourself a godfather or godmother to sponsor your career.

    Image

    You think political campaigns are cheap? Better be ready to drop it down low so you can get sponsorship.

    6. Practice your fighting skills especially if you are gunning for a place in the National Assembly.

    Maybe ask Uncle Dino for some tips.

    7. You have to show Nigerians that you are one of them.

    You might be worth millions of (laundered) naira but that doesn’t mean you will stop taking okada or buying corn on the road like the average Nigerian.

    The script is to act like you feel their plight, so get in character and act like your life depends on it.

    8. As a politician you also need to get yourself security by whatever means.

    Hire cultists, militants or religious extremists. What’s your business if they end up becoming a terrorist group because you funded them.

    9. You have to get your wardrobe on check too. Get a tailor to sew plenty agbadas for you.

    Only make white. White is the colour of serious politicians.

    10. Once a year share bags of rice to a few people and take a thousand pictures.

    Bathroom slippers too isn’t a bad idea. Depends on the kind of message you intend to pass.

    Image

    Any time Nigerians accuse you of not doing your job publish the pictures online to show them that you are a very hardworking politician.

    Now that we’ve shown you the way go forth and flourish as the baby girl or baby boy politician we know you have the potential to be.

  • Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.

    Let’s start here:

    On the 20th of October, 2020, armed men of the Nigerian army allegedly shot at peaceful protesters in the recent #EndSars movement. It is estimated that at least twelve people were killed in Lagos, and hundred more were injured around Nigeria.

    In light of this unfortunate and avoidable incident, we decided to take a look at all the times Nigeria has killed innocent, peaceful protesters.

    1) The Women’s Market Rebellion of 1929.

    The Aba market women rebellion of 1929 was a largely peaceful protest against the colonial government’s plan to tax women. Inspired by a woman called Nwanyereuwa, and strengthened by the popular Oloko trio, [mostly] market women executed a strategic anti-colonial revolt. The aim was to address social, political and economic grievances. The women wanted more participation in government, removal of direct taxation of women, and better overall treatment.

    The women employed methods like “sitting on a man”, or donning male traditional attires to express their displeasures. In some cases, this resulted in [some] destruction of properties. Especially properties of warrant chiefs who were the direct link to the colonial masters.

    To restore normalcy, British officers were brought in. By the time order was restored, at least 50 [protesting] women were shot dead and 50 others were injured. As a result of the unfamiliar tactics [to the British] used by the women, and the casualties, an enquiry was called for. The name “Aba Women’s Riots of 1929” is how this enquiry was named in the British colonial records leading to the misinformation that the event was a riot.

    2) The Iva Valley Massacre of 1949.

    In 1949, striking miners demanding for better wages and living conditions in Enugu were shot dead by British police.

    In the 1940s, Enugu had become Nigeria’s biggest coal producer and was called the coal capital of West Africa. Two major mines were responsible for this – Iva valley and Obwetti mine.

    The life of a miner was dangerous. They worked 6 days a week underground with low oxygen, low morale, and low pay. To further worsen things, Europeans who worked on the surface and did lesser work were better off than the miners.

    Increased resentment led the miners to a strike action which was rejected by the colonial officers. The miners were sacked and immediately asked to leave the premise after which they refused. British police were called to remove the striking, peaceful miners from the site.

    Not to be intimidated by the police, the miners chanted songs of solidarity. The British officers led by Superintendent of Police, F.S Philips opened fire on them. He would go on to say that the miners were indulging in a war dance and looked menacing. 21 miners were killed on that day and were mostly shot in the back.

    The protest increased agitations and united a large swathe of Nigerians for the first time, and this helped push our final claim for independence from colonial rule.

    3) Occupy Nigeria Protest of 2012.

    In the Occupy Nigeria protests against fuel subsidy removal, at least 12 people died. Two people were reportedly shot dead when the police fired into the crowd in an attempt to disperse peaceful protesters.

    4) IPOB Protest of 2015/16.

    The Indigenous People of Biafra (IPOB) supporters were allegedly shot at and killed by the Nigerian military between August 2015 and September of 2016. The group and its supporters were protesting for secession and restoration of the Republic of Biafra. The most notable incident was in December of 2015 where 11 protesters reportedly lost their lives.

    6) Shiite Protest In 2019.

    In July of 2019, the Nigerian police allegedly fired at peaceful protesters of the Shia Islamic Movement of Nigeria (IMN) in the capital city of Abuja.

    The protest was to demand urgent medical care for the detained leader of the Shiites, El Zakzaky, and to also request his release. Reportedly, eleven protesters, one journalist, and a police officer were killed. Additionally, scores of protesters were either injured or arrested in the aftermath of the protests.

    7) Lekki Massacre of 2020.

    On the night of October 2020, peaceful and unarmed protesters were allegedly shot and killed at the Lekki toll gate by Nigerian soldiers. The protest was a social movement to call for an end to police brutality in Nigeria. A rogue unit [The Special Anti-robbery Squad] notorious for killing, harassing, and stealing from young Nigerians was the focus of the protests.

    According to reports, in the evening, light was allegedly cut from the tollgate, and the CCTV cameras were removed. It is believed that the aim was to reduce video evidence of the massacre.

    In one of the clips that emerged from the site, protesters can be heard singing the Nigerian anthem and crying as they are shot at. We owe it to them to never forget the incident of 20/10/2020.

    Notable mention is the Agbekoya Farmer’s Revolt of the late 1960s where farmers protesting against taxation were shot and killed by policemen.

    We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about how to unfuck yourself when the Nigerian government moves mad. Check back every weekday for more Zikoko Citizen explainers.