1. Time To Go And Meet Your Favorite Lecturer You, yes you. You have had peace of mind for the last 6 months. But in the next three weeks you will try to submit your assignment after the deadline and someone will shout “Will you get out of my office?!” Why? Because the Governor of […]

LEAVE LAGOS. FLEE THE CITY. RUN. JAPA ABSCOND. GET OUT. JUST GOOOOOO. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. For more tips on surviving your abusive relationship with Lagos state, read our Lagos archives. For more reasons to leave, read Why Are We Still Living In Lagos? If you still want to live in Lagos […]

We’ve scrambled the names of 15 different locations around Lagos. Can you unscramble them in 2 minutes? Hint: If you’re struggling with one, just move to the next one. If you pass this quiz, take a screenshot and show everyone who thinks you’re not a real Lagosian. 11 Of Our Most Popular Geography Quizzes Take these […]

There are more than 23 million people living in Lagos. So how best do you decongest? Extort, sorry tax people! In the space of four days, the Lagos State government has come up with barrage of taxes aimed at sending everyone back to their villages. Here’s the tea: First, there is the new taxes on […]

Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]

Honestly, that old Volkswagen needs a break.

IT’S JUST MY FACE.

The reality of Lagos May 4th so far is gradually growing into all our worst fears materializing.

Living in Lagos is stressful. Very stressful. It’s even three times more stressful under lockdown when you add the fear of getting robbed to the mix. Recently, some parts of Lagos have experienced a surge in crime rates and this has triggered a range of emotions in people. From sadness to anger, to helplessness. We […]

1. You, after eating your 7th meal before 6pm: I clearly need help. 2. What your sink looks like right now: Those plates better get up and wash themselves. 3. When you smell yourself after refusing to bath for days. I’ve not even done anything, why am I smelling? 4. You, after eating all your […]

If you listened to the President’s speech yesterday, then you already know that Lagos, Ogun, and Abuja are going to be on lockdown so as to curb the spread of Miss Rona. This means an economic shutdown for a period of two weeks. Sometimes in life, you are looking for one public holiday, then you […]

An unnamed individual who visited the bank has tested positive for Coronavirus.

Yesterday, we got information about a new case of Coronavirus in Nigeria. In addition, we also got the decision of the Nigerian Government on Covid-19 thanks to the meeting by the Presidential Task Force On Coronavirus. Part of this decision is a travel ban on countries with more than 1000 reported Covid-19 cases. Today, the […]

House hunting in Nigeria is the absolute worst, and one of the main reasons is estate agents who are willing to lie through their teeth to get you to rent an unlivable space. Here are 13 of their most notorious lies: 1. “It’s close to the main road.” Let me hear word, abeg. 2. “I […]

Step1: Always be prepared to run.

Quentin Tarantino would’ve physically fought Bong Joon Ho over that Best Director Oscar.

1) Author: Mark Manson. No lies detected. 2) Author: Chinua Achebe. “Things fall apart, the danfo cannot hold.” 3) Author: Fyodor Dostoevsky. Crime: Being a Lagosian. Punishment: Being a Lagosian. 4) Author: John Green. “Being stoic means preparing for the worst but in Nigeria (read as Lagos), the worst always happens.” 5) Author: Agatha Christie. […]

Please call them now.

If you are a Lagosian, chances are that this morning was hell. Well, unless you own a car or can afford Uber and Bolt. For the rest of us, we experienced one or more of the emotions on the list below. Anger: The first emotion I felt immediately I woke up this morning was annoyance. […]

A lot of Nigerian restaurants that consider themselves “fancy” always find a way to overcharge and underdeliver. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling immensely disappointed after a visit to one of these fine establishments, then this post is for you. 1. How the waiters look at you knowing you’re about to finish your money: “This […]

There are a few public transport options that have existed in Lagos for as long as we can remember, and even though most people reading this would rather use an Uber, those OG options are still thriving. So, let’s find out which of them — from the danfo to the keke — best suits your […]

So, I was wondering. Everyone I know is broke, tired, and always complaining, yet many people seem to be able to make time for sex or some semblance of sex. Especially people that are in relationships or even married. This made me wonder: what are the financial implications of fornication on your wallet? We asked […]

In Lagos, two things are certain every Christmas: detty concerts and bumper to bumper traffic, upped by a bajillion notches. It’s the absolute worst really, and no higher power can save you from it – well, except you’re from Edo. So how then, do you kill time while sitting through the madness? Here are a […]

Going to a market at any time in Lagos is helluva stressful, and it requires more planning than your purchase list. Dealing with sassy market women is one thing, having to navigate the tricky pricing and fight for breathing space is another. Here are some things you’ll relate to if you’ve ever been to a […]