If you’ve been observing the Nigerian government since Lady Corona hit, wondering what the thought process is behind the decisions they make regarding the outbreak, you’re not alone. Also, the reason you haven’t been able to figure out their plan for this pandemic is that they don’t have one.
I don’t think they ever did.
This explains why they keep making decisions that imply they have some kind of agreement with Her Royal Virus. Decisions like:
1) The fact that they made this claim:
They said this with their chest like they’d bribed Miss Rona to skip Nigeria during her world tour. The worst part? We fell this fucking lie.
2) The fact that they eased the lockdown and placed a curfew:
Some of the rules that came with this made sense (wearing masks, ban on interstate travelling etc). But what was the point of the curfew? We’re trying to avoid being infected by a virus, not escape a gang of vampires. So what was the reason?
3) The fact that they gave this order:
Am I missing something? Does Miss Rona know to not infect people in gatherings of more than 20 if they’re in church?
4) The fact that they decided on this:
I guess Rona’s gonna wait 60 mins at every church service before she starts attacking people. Good to know.
5) The fact that the governor of Port Harcourt keeps declaring and suspending the lockdown in his state.
Take your time deciding what you’re want to do, Wike. Rona is definitely gonna wait for you.
6) THIS DECISION!!!!!
These niggas really made the decision to cut health funding IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC knowing that the isolation centres are running out of bed spaces.
Chile, let us pray.
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Every week, Zikoko seeks to understand how people move the Naira in and out of their lives. Some stories will be struggle-ish, others will be bougie. All the time, it’ll be revealing.
So, my first question is, what is your oldest memory of money?
I can’t remember how old I was but it was always Eid money from my parents. I was definitely less than 10 years.
Hahaha. Always Eid money.
Yah. But my first ‘made money’ was from selling stuff I knitted in primary school.
Now, this is interesting.
I was knitting caps, small square handkerchiefs, girl purses. I think I was in primary five.
That’s super impressive.
I guess. Maybe if I saved those ₦20 notes I’d be rich now, hahaha. I don’t think I made up to ₦500 – most of it was “I will pay later” with no pay.
What was it like as a child though?
We were not rich-rich but we are not poor either. Middle-class family. So I had the luxuries that I know some people did not have; lived in a pretty good environment too. But it was always about books for us. My dad hated seeing any of his kids not keeping busy with a book. I have two siblings but we had cousins staying with us.
Looks very familiar to me. Next time you earned?
I didn’t go to school In Nigeria. My parents sent allowance – jobs weren’t so easy for foreigners. Although I tried to work, my dad wasn’t having it. So I didn’t work. But towards the end of uni, I started an online perfume business and I cashed out.
Hahahaha. Tell me.
It was my boyfriend that encouraged me sha. I was in a country that had a large perfume market. Mostly the rich Arabian ones. I came home yearly for holidays and bought them as gifts for people. You know, you must bring gifts when you’re abroad even as a student.
Hahaha. How much did you make from your biggest stash of sales?
Over a 100k. But I was a bad businesswoman, I still am. Just learning the ropes better now.
How much was your markup?
The fact that I don’t know the meaning of markup shows how much I need to learn when it comes to business. But I’ll explain how it worked.
The business was on a pre-order basis; I used to buy monthly and send. So let’s say I buy for 20k and sending it costs about ₦10k or ₦15k, I can still make ₦40k or ₦50k from that order. Sometimes it was less, but the more people ordered, the more I made
And the biggest margin you made was ₦100k eh?
At once, yes. But I didn’t save, I spent all that money. I think I came back with only $500 saved up. That was 2018. I ate out a lot and spent it on flimsy things.
What would you consider a flimsy thing?
Seeing something online and purchasing instantly. Buying food, I really ate out a lot and I’ve kind of learnt to reduce that. And Uber in 2018, bruh. I didn’t know how much I was spending until the money finished.
Okay, so 2018. Back in Nigeria. What came next?
Major life hit. I had plans to go somewhere else for Masters’ that year, but most nursing postgraduate programmes require experience. So I had to accept my fate and start the journey as a nurse trained outside the country
Another mad-fest.
This is Sparta.
Nursing is only just gaining some respect in Nigeria, so a lot of things are still not in place. You come back, and then register with the Nursing Council, get posted to any of the Nigerian unis and do a conversion course – this is for all medical professions. I don’t know but maybe they think we don’t go through enough courses outside Nigeria, so they want us to experience the suffer-head. I was posted to another school, took the course and then the exam. I passed. Phase one over.
This might be coming late, but congratulations.
Thank you! By the way, I started another business in 2018; a skincare brand, sort of. It started with me giving people something I was using for my skin that was locally made by women in the country I schooled in. I brought some back to Nigeria and dashed it out. Then people started saying they’ll pay for it. That’s how I started shipping that in. I started with ₦10k but we thank God it’s bigger now. It’s on and off, but definitely more products than I started with.
How has this grown over the years?
Same 2018 mistake, which is that I wasn’t saving. And I wasn’t in uni so no steady income – my dad sent me a monthly allowance in school. A girl still had needs, so my business money was really just to keep me above water.
For a short time, I even went into event planning. I was working and learning with someone while recruiting ushers for events. It was more like freelancing, to be honest. I earned like ₦10k from it, but I was just trying to find myself. The fear of being broke. I finally saved my first ₦100k after 4 to 5 months. Then I started the business so I put that into an investment.
Progress!
Yeah. 2019 was for hunting for a job as regards my career and more customers as regards business. I started at my first job mid 2019 at a government hospital in Lagos.
Congratulations! What was your first salary?
They didn’t pay the first month – something about some Jargons – but by November, it was ₦86k or so I can’t remember. But that has been my take-home since.
What has changed between then and now?
Nothing really. I barely spend my salary. I’m married so he takes care of most of my needs. I try to contribute also but, that be about like 10–20% of my salary once in 2 months, hahaha. But I’m saving up sha, and working on giving my business a boost.
Mad o. God when?
Hahaha, God now.
Saving seems to be quite important to you.
I think it’s because of how we weren’t really brought up to save like that. You get money, keep with mum and she buys something with it. And then personal allowances were to be spent. I think we’d have been better off being more open about money.
Now, this is what I do with my salary every month:
Save ₦50k
Send money to my siblings, maybe ₦10-15k
Or just buy random things, sometimes stuff for the house.
How much do you have saved up now?
I had over ₦200k last week, but business is taking most of it now. Plus I have some investments out there. So these are my fallbacks.
How much will you say you’ve put into investments, and what kind?
All them Agric ones. I have one coming out this July and another one before the year ends. I think I’ve put in about ₦150k in total.
Quick one, has COVID affected work at your hospital at all?
Yes, it has. They said they’ll give us money but we no see am. They just returned tax. Now this month our salary was even reduced without explanation. Only God can save us. Working with the government is an extreme sport. I’m not at Onikan or Yaba, but yes, all health workers are on the frontlines somehow.
The fear is real.
Ah, has there been a case in your hospital yet?
Yeah. I don’t know if they count those with the ones on NCDC.
That is crazy. You’re entitled to some allowances, right? But una never see am.
Exactly. Na just word of mouth. No explanation about the reduction of salaries.
Do you have any clue how much it’s supposed to be?
I really don’t know TBH. But even if it wouldn’t increase, why reduce it.
How has COVID affected business though?
I kind of sold out before the whole lockdown. But it affected me in the exchange rate and shipping/clearance costs of my materials. I can’t quantify how much, but my stash was worth about ₦50k. It could be more, to be honest.
Will the business be able to function with this crisis?
It’s really up to God now, because I started investing more in it before the crisis. I was majorly hit because I paid unexpected shipping that wouldn’t have cost so much if the dollar didn’t hit. My customers are still asking, but I’m hoping they can afford the products because inevitably, the prices will go up.
How much was your last salary?
₦90k. Usually, after working for six months, there is always an increase. I’m not sure how much, but it’s supposed to be over ₦100k at least. Maybe ₦120k with all the hazard allowance we’re supposed to be collecting
I’m curious about how you think about money though, generally.
I think about money as a privilege. And I was kind of brought up not to focus everything on money money money. For me, there’s the spiritual aspect; you can have a lot of money or very little money, what will happen will happen.
Still, I love money, and whenever my account is not looking good to me, I don’t like it.
Hahaha.
A few days ago, I had like ₦1k or so in my account and I had to show my husband, so he could fix-up. He fixed up. Also, my PiggyVest dey always sweet me.
Hahahaha. How much is there currently?
₦166k. Separate from the ₦150k Agric investments. But the money is going into my business soon.
And talking about your husband, how does money work in your relationship?
He does his best, and I chip in once in a while. If he can afford it, he buys it. If I can and I’m WILLING to, I buy it. Huhuhu.
What’s something you really want right now but can’t afford?
I’ve thought about this, but it’s a visa and new passport I want. Besides that, I’m working on being more content. The only other thing that comes to mind is a new phone, and I want my husband to buy that one.
I don’t want to buy it myself. If I buy it, I’ll be broke and remember I don’t like that.
Hahaha. But he won’t be broke?
He won’t be, hahaha. I can live without it too, so no pressure. It’s the passport I need if you know where they’re selling.
What’s the most annoying miscellaneous you’ve paid for recently?
That extra money I had to pay for shipping and clearing. Extra ₦30k above my budget
There’s a major expense from the past year that we haven’t touched. Wedding.
Ohh, yeah. I didn’t really spend anything o. I can’t remember the expenses. My husband paid for most things, plus my parents handled the guests too. It wasn’t a big wedding, so the costs were minimal.
Fair enough. If you had to throw a figure at it, how much will you say it cost though?
Let me ask my husband…
So, my husband spent almost ₦1 million. My parents spent more than that. Chaiiiiii. Small wedding o.
Hahaha. You had no clue.
Nope. Never calculated it. Also, I forgot to add that my mum gave me an investment during my wedding. Gold. I’m not sure what it costs now, but when she bought it, it was like ₦300k. So, my mind feels at ease whenever I remember that. She did me a solid.
Do you have an emergency plan for stuff like health emergencies?
I have in shaa Allah, hahaha. But really, I have my work, although I’m working on a family plan with my husband now though.
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the financial happiness
5 maybe. Or 6. I’m at a ‘grateful for hey I have but wouldn’t mind more’ phase. I’m satisfied but not fully, hahaha.
What does bele-full look like for you?
A thriving business and yearly vacations.
Most importantly, a fulfilling nursing career abroad, because it’s hard to have a fulfilling one in Nigeria.
The system is against you.
It’s been two months and chances of Nigerian schools reopening are still pretty slim. Schools across the country were closed to control the spread of the coronavirus in Nigeria. Anyway, we reached out to some Nigerian students and they talked about how much they look forward to going back to school.
Oiza – Ahmadu Bello University
I understand why schools had to be closed, but I’d rather be anywhere but this house. It’s hard enough to study in school, but it’s almost impossible to do that at home. My friends and I even had a study arrangement that lasted for a week. Maybe online learning facilities would have made the difference if they were available, I guess we will never know.
I’m tired of this house. Stress. No power. No privacy. Every single move I make is judged with one impossible standard. I’m cut off from people who understand. It’s very messed up and I’m tired. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve cried. I’m prepared for the Fs I’ll have after this extended break. It’s like ASUU strike, except you can’t blame the FG this time. I’m really looking forward to returning to school and getting my freedom back. Go on late night walks with friends. And oh, did I mention the school Wi-fi?
Gamaliel – University of Lagos
News of the closure was a punch to the gut. I knew I would be cut off from my allowance and that didn’t sound like it would be fun for me. Besides, home is somewhat far, so getting myself here was a chore. At the moment, I’m running on pure vibes. Do I want schools to reopen? Absolutely! That would make my life easier. I would get my allowance back, to start with. Then my freedom. And I would be reunited with my girl. Strangely enough, I miss everything about school — the lectures, the tests and exams. I’ve now realised that I love education so much.
Eseosa – University of Port Harcourt
You should have seen how eager I was to go home when this entire thing started. To me, home meant one important thing — food. Everything was great for a while, but now I know the novelty has worn off and it’s beginning to look like a punishment. I’m not going to lie, my school work has suffered. I’ve spent close to two months at home and I only started studying this week. So yes, the only place I want to be right now is my school. The best thing that could possibly happen to me right now is Nigerian schools reopening. For starters, I miss my friends, ugh! I miss living alone, I can’t take the see-finish in this house anymore.
Rebecca – Kwara State University
I was livid when the school got closed. I mean, corona is not yet to play, but I was supposed to begin exams in a week, and everything got cancelled. That was really painful. I’m too comfortable at home, and it’s affecting how I study. And I don’t think virtual learning would have helped because physical classes are not 100 per cent effective at all times, now what are the chances that virtual learning would do better? Anyway, I have only one wish at the moment — and it is for schools to reopen, so I can write my exams and get it over it.
Rajunor – University of Calabar
For some reason, I didn’t think this situation was going to last this long. I wasn’t even going to come home as I didn’t see the point. But here we are. I’m doing a lot of things at home, but studying is not one of them. There’s always one thing to do or the other. I won’t say I’m excited about returning to school right now though. I’m really indifferent about it. But if it happens, I excited about attending lectures. We’ve lost a lot of time already, so I know there’s going to be quite a rush when the school gates are finally open. It’s somewhat scary, but I think I’m prepared for that.
While we wait for Nigerian schools reopening, you can catch up on some Aluta and Chill stories in the box below
It’s safe to say that Miss Rona‘s arrival threw the world headfirst into chaos. A lot of people currently existing have never lived through a pandemic, and the fact that new things keep being discovered about the virus every day has left people confused and scared as shit.
Then there are the people who believe they have everything figured out. They have bogus theories about Rona V’s origin story and will tell anyone who will listen…usually on Facebook because the people on there find these garbage theories easy to believe for some reason.
1) That the virus is being caused by 5G towers.
Just because the rollout of 5G was happening at the same time COVID-19 hit, conspiracy theorists insist that 5G towers and Lady Corona are connected. Which is insane because it’s biologically impossible for a virus to spread via the electromagnetic spectrum (the spectrum is made up of wave/protons while viruses are comprised of proteins and nucleic acids). That didn’t stop them from burning down 5G towers in the UK though.
2) Bill Gates is responsible for everything. (The Gates of Hell)
Anti-Vaxxers saw a video of a 2015 Ted Talk given by Bill Gates where he spoke about the (then) Ebola outbreak and warned of a future pandemic. They took this to mean that Bill had foreknowledge of Mistress Orona’s world tour and declared that the whole thing was Bill’s evil plan to force vaccinations on everyone on the planet. When it became news that Bill is currently funding COVID-19 vaccine research, the theory evolved to include a plan to depopulate Africa and use the vaccine program to inject microchips into people that could be used to track and control them.
Keep in mind that Daddy Bill has been involved in vaccine research funding for decades. If he wanted to serve Captain Planet villain realness, he would’ve done so a long time ago.
3) That the virus was created by China as a biological weapon.
The first version of this one involved the virus being created in a lab by the Chinese and then somehow getting out, à la Resident Evil. That wasn’t juicy enough though so it evolved to include a subplot of China creating it as a bioweapon. Thanks to genetic sequencing, this has been debunked.
4) That the virus isn’t real.
Some people believe the virus is a hoax and the governments of the world are using the fear to take away our freedom. This particular theory is so strong that it has inspired anti-lockdown protests in the US. At this rate, they’re all going to end up like the guy in the meme above.
5) That the current infection/death numbers are inflated.
With the way this virus spreads, there is every chance that a ton of deaths have happened that the government doesn’t even know about. Don’t dull yourself.
On today’s episode of Zikoko’s one-minute series, Isolation Diary, the host tackles conspiracy theories and has a message for the people who believe in them blindly. Check it out below:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CAKoBaYlZGS/
Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories
Let’s start with this video from the MD of Access Bank:
Access Bank lean measures may affect 75% of its staff.
All those lost jobs in the middle of this crisis. Security men, tea boys, cleaners.
The CEO offered to take a 40% pay cut.
I prefer not to speak.
People had this to say about the video:
I can’t deal.
Access Bank will hire Zlatan and pay him 10 Million just to come and scream "Ayiiiiiiiiiiiii" but then sack staff who graduated from tough Universities with First Class, staff that they were paying 75k. Let me hear anybody tell me that Education is the key again 😒
1. Access Bank started its restructuring much to the horror of the general public. Well, its for self-preservation.
Most banks have their fortunes tied to fluctuations in global oil prices considering that about a third of all credits they extend to the economy are directed to
In response to the video, the Central Bank released this circular:
No bank shall retrench or lay-off staff in any cadre:
Plug it to my veins. Whew.
Access Bank sha tried to do control damage and they said this:
The silver lining here is that Access Bank can’t take any action without the approval of the Central Bank. So, all we can do is wait and see what happens in the coming days. I surely hope they find an amicable middle ground for both business and employees.
While we wait, it’s important that we all keep safe and take all the necessary precautions needed to beat this virus. Stay at home if you can.
We are all in this together!
If you need to relax your mind away from stressful things, read the stack below:
Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, most of the world is currently on lockdown. Some people are trapped with family, while others are with lovers. However, there are also a bunch of people who are all alone.
So, we asked 5 Nigerians who live by themselves to share what the experience has been like for them. From a gradual loss of sanity to crippling loneliness, the past few weeks have not been easy.
James, 27/Male
I recently moved to England, and I was gradually adjusting. Even my homesickness was reducing. I had a routine, a few friends I liked, a Master’s course I was enjoying and a new relationship that was blossoming.
Then the lockdown happened. I’m restless and bored all the time now. Taking walks and going to the supermarket are now the highlights of my week. Calling friends is also a struggle. I just don’t have anything to say.
Granted, I feel a little less stressed, but the whole situation is still draining. I had a few job opportunities that are now gone. I really hate not knowing what’s going to happen next, but I think everything will be fine eventually.
Boyin, 31/Female
Before the pandemic, I really enjoyed being alone. I could always invite people over or go out with friends if I wanted company. The lockdown has shown me that I only enjoyed my solitude because I was in control of it.
Now, I’m constantly looking for ways to entertain myself. I’ve been talking to myself a lot more because I normally enjoy telling stories. One day, I acted out an entire play by myself, playing every character. It’s been tough.
The internet and working out have helped a lot, but I’m also sexually frustrated, overspending on data and eating to pass the time. This whole thing has made me realise just how much I took my freedom for granted.
Seni, 25/Male
Staying alone has always been wonderful, and I strongly recommend not having people in your house. Before the pandemic, I could see my friends, get high whenever I wanted and have unlimited sex.
The lockdown has taken away the friends and the sex, but electricity has been really good. I think that’s a fair trade. I’ve also been getting to explore my love for cooking a lot more, and that has been the best part.
Honestly, I appreciate not having to deal with reality or heavy expectations right now — all I have to do is eat and stay alive — but it is a little stressful not knowing when all this will end. Will this be my new normal forever?
Ella, 26/Female
I’m the only child, so I always thought I’d mastered the art of being by myself. This pandemic has made me realise that I’m just as dependent as anyone, and the loneliness is really starting to get to me.
Getting high and masturbating have been helping a lot, but I think I’m starting to overdo both. I also love video calling my friends and parents, but it can’t compare to real human contact. If I don’t get a hug soon, I might die.
Chidi, 29/Male
Before the pandemic, I was barely home alone. I was usually at work. Then I’d spend most weekends with my girlfriend. I really only ever had extended periods of time to myself on select weekends and public holidays.
Now, I’m here all day and it’s not too bad, until konji strikes. I’ve been cooking a lot more than I used to and watching Netflix. I also have a few books I’m saving for when Netflix inevitably gets boring.
While I don’t miss the body odour of Lagosians and being harassed by SARS, I do hate not being able to see my friends and loved ones. I also hate how scared and alone I felt when those robbery reports started.
COVID-19 Dreams
Since the lockdown started, I’ve been having strange dreams. I didn’t think too much of them at first because my dreams are usually bizarre. But as the lockdown went on, they got even more batshit. This got me wondering if this spike in the weirdness of my dreams had a connection to the mental effects of the lockdown (it totally does). And because I’m an amebo, it also got me wondering what kind of weird dreams other people were having.
So I went ahead and asked around. I’ll start.
Astor, 1#
“Two weeks ago, I had a dream that I was watching an R-rated version of the 2020 movie, ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’. And because of the way dreams work (where you’re sometimes in them as opposed to just observing), I was IN the movie, running around frantically with everyone else as Doctor Robotnik violently killed people in a bid to draw Sonic out of hiding. Why is this a weird dream? I haven’t even watched Sonic the Hedgehog in real life!”
Nnamdi, 30
“I was at a house party, watching myself dance when someone ran up to me (not me exactly but the version of myself I was watching), grabbed me, and screamed, ‘YOUR EYES ARE HURTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE CURRENT EYES!’. Immediately after this, I woke up in a haze. I picked up my phone, googled ‘current eyes’ to see if it meant something (it doesn’t btw), and went back to sleep.”
Victoria, 25
“I think the strangest dream I’ve had in the last few weeks was the one where mop hairs started growing out of my crotch in place of pubic hair. Yeah, like the mops for cleaning floors. It was horrifying! The more I cut them, the more they grew. I shaved so hard until I began bleeding. It was just like that scene in ‘X-Men: The Last Stand’ where Angel’s father walks into the bathroom and finds him frantically cutting off his wings with a knife. It was so random and disturbing. I still haven’t been able to look at mops the same way.”
Bimpe, 21
“I was going on vacation with my family to London. To show you how detailed this dream was, I knew in the dream that we were flying with KLM. Got on the plane and fell asleep. Next thing I knew, I woke up in Accra. Before I could find out what was going on, I fell asleep again and woke up in Kinshasa. We went straight from the airport to a nice big house where a wedding was taking place. I wandered off during this wedding and got lost in the house. As I was trying to find my way out, I woke up.I’ve never been to the Republic of the Congo or Ghana.”
Dapo, 32
“I had sex with 8 men on the same night. Look, I’m not a child. I’ve had sex dreams before but not on this level. What made this weirder is that it wasn’t at an orgy or something. It happened in quick succession. It was like a series of dreams. Every time I woke up from one sex dream and went back to sleep, there would be another guy (my spec) waiting to rock my world. I messed up my hip IN THESE DREAMS because of all the thrusting. Best sex of my life (real or imaginary)! I would not mind one (or all) of those guys returning at some point sha. I can’t go out because of Corona but body no be firewood. And there’s only so much your hands can do, you know? Lol”
COVID-19 Dreams
COVID-19 Dreams
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
As the world continues to fight COVID-19 and implement new routines to curb its spread we on the other hand are learning more about ourselves. Here’s a list of 7 ingenious things COVID-19 has taught Nigerians;
1. There are lot of dirty people among us.
Proven by the fact that before this pandemic hit, bath time was the only time people actually washed their hands. And don’t even get us started on the special demographic of people that no longer bath since they won’t be leaving their houses.
2. There’s a lot about our planet that we still don’t know yet.
We are in 2020 and no one knew about COVID-19 until just last year. Anyone else wondering what else lies in the unknown? 5 months later and we still don’t know a cure or vaccine yet.
Of course by now you must already know this. They are the ones at the forefront of this war against COVID-19, showing up daily and working round the clock to keep people safe and treat infected patients.
There’s a reason “edible” is a word. First the Ebola Virus, and now this new Coronavirus. The message is clear, stop eating in the nonsense please.
5. Healthcare is the most important sector.
Barely 4 months into the fight against COVID-19 and health care systems around the world are already overwhelmed. If we had pumped more into the healthcare sector we would be more equipped against this virus.
6. A lot of people are willing to believe anything and everything.
Ergo; 5G conspiracy theorists, whatsapp broadcasts envoys, social media people constantly talking in the nonsense about further nonsense.
7. Men can actually live without sports.
Of course we noticed that it’s almost been 3 months without sports and there has been no single report of a fatal case of Sports Withdrawal Syndrome. Who would have thought people could go 3 months without starting another Messi/Ronaldo debate?
What’s up, Zikoko Fam? It would mean the world to us if you spared a few minutes to fill this Reader Survey. It’s so we can bring you the content you really want!
With each passing day in lockdown, we are realising just how important little things like a hair cut or a hug can be. That’s why this meme of Bob-Manuel praying is all of us asking God to give us anything we can manage during these stressful times.
1. “God, even if it’s just a peck on the cheek, I’ll manage.”
I just need some kind of physical contact, abeg.
2. “God, even if it’s just the sound of my barber’s clipper, I’ll manage.”
Even if he will shift in my hairline, I will take it.
3. “God, even if I have to sit in traffic for 5 hours, I’ll manage.”
Stagnant traffic would be better than this prison.
4. “God, even if the club is dead, I’ll manage.”
I don’t even need alcohol. I will still turn up.
5. “God, even if it’s a Vic O concert, I’ll manage.”
I will sing “After Party” with all my energy.
6. “God, even if it’s just N3k someone will dash me, I’ll manage.”
Please, no amount is too small.
7. “God, even if it’s my yeye ex, I’ll manage.”
I’m ready to forgive you.
8. “God, even if it’s just a football training session, I’ll watch.”
I just want to see someone kick a ball.
9. “God, even if the sun will roast me, I’ll manage.”
Fuck my skin. I just miss outside.
10. “God, even if they’ll take hours to reply my text, I’ll manage.”
I’ll take whatever scum I can get.
11. “God, even if it’s just the tip, I’ll manage.”
I can’t take it anymore.
We live in uncertain times and that can be scary. What if we promised you some form of certainty? Every day by 12 noon, we’ll bring you the latest updates on the fight against the Covid-19, both in Nigeria and Africa.
Nigeria’s Update from the past 24 hours:
As of yesterday, 12/04/2020, these are the number of reported cases in Nigeria.
Five new cases of #COVID19 have been reported as follows:
2 in Lagos 2 in Kwara 1 in Katsina
As at 09:10 pm 12th April there are 323 confirmed cases of #COVID19 reported in Nigeria. 85 have been discharged with 10 deaths
