You might think your job is just “stressful,” but there’s a thin line between character building and outright toxic behaviour. Beyond the long hours and bad bosses, there’s a deeper issue: how toxic work environments mess with your relationships, both at home and at work.
We spoke to Sarah Oyefeso, an organisational psychologist, who broke down exactly why it happens and what to do about it.
What makes a workplace toxic?
“At its core, it’s any environment where your emotional safety is consistently undermined,” Sarah tells Zikoko. “This could look like poor leadership, constant micromanagement, favouritism, harassment, unrealistic expectations, or just persistent disrespect. Once your work stress starts to spill into how you relate with others, that’s your sign.”
So, what should you look out for before accepting a job?
Sarah says the signs are usually there.
If they’re overly eager to hire you without due process, that’s a red flag. If they’re constantly hiring, ask yourself why people keep leaving. Pay attention to the vibe during the interview, too. If the interviewer is too casual or dismissive, chances are you won’t be taken seriously on the job either. Also, observe the current employees. They might not complain, but observe their mannerisms. And if you can, find someone who’s worked there before — ask about their experience and why they left. That alone can save you.
6 Nigerians Share How Toxic Jobs Changed Their Lives
To understand just how bad it can get, we asked six Nigerians about the toxic jobs that pushed them to the brink.
“I became deeply anxious and withdrawn. I barely spoke at home” — *Dan, 24
*Dan learned that even being around loved ones can feel like a chore when you’re deeply burnt out. He shares:
“I joined a digital marketing agency in 2024. On my first day, I greeted the managing director, Ronke, and she ignored me. I brushed it off, thinking she was having a bad day. I didn’t realise that was just who she was.
She constantly picked on me for little mistakes. I understand corrections are part of the job, but she humiliated me in front of the whole office. Once, just two weeks after I joined, the network was down and I couldn’t complete a task. I let her know, but instead of understanding, she scheduled an all-hands meeting and used it to insult me for an hour. I cried. I even got a query from HR that started with, ‘I believe you don’t have sense.’
After less than two months, I resigned. But the damage was done. I became deeply anxious and withdrawn. I barely spoke at home because I couldn’t even find the words to explain what I was going through. My relationship with my mum and brothers became strained. I used to be bubbly, but I had no energy left after work.”
Sarah’s take: “When you’re constantly anxious at work, your nervous system doesn’t just switch off when you clock out. That stress follows you home. You might withdraw, snap at people or stop communicating because you’re emotionally drained. Don’t assume your partner or family will automatically understand — overshare the mundane details of your days. Keeping them in the loop helps them show up for you.”
“The same fear I felt walking into the office follows me everywhere” — *Faith, 25
Faith’s job didn’t just take her peace; it changed how she felt in every other space, too. She shares:
“I worked at a fintech where my manager, Tayo, was desperate to please our supervisor. So he started sabotaging me.
Once, I tweeted about enjoying remote work. Tayo messaged me privately about it, and we had a casual chat. Next thing, the supervisor called to insult me. Turns out Tayo had twisted my words.
He began taking my big leads and assigning me accounts that barely brought in commission. I became so guarded that I stopped collaborating and withdrew from even my friends. I still find it hard to go to church or talk to people. It’s like I’m permanently scared.”
Sarah’s take: “What Faith is going through is workplace-induced trauma. It causes anxiety that affects your confidence in relationships and stops you from reaching out in familiar spaces.
Reclaim your safe spaces, even if it’s just with one trusted person. And be gentle with yourself, healing from a job shouldn’t be your responsibility, but sadly, it is.
“I constantly lashed out at the people who loved me” — *Jachima, 23
Toxic workplaces don’t just stress you, they erase your sense of self. That was precisely *Jachinma’s reality.
“Working in that space really changed me. From day one, I felt unsafe. A senior colleague saw my pink bag and said, ‘Is pink your favourite colour? That’s the colour of my favourite part of a woman.’
The sexual and degrading comments targeted at women kept coming, and HR never did anything.
I once came in sick and asked to go home, but they refused. Meanwhile, my manager strolled in at 10 a.m. and left before 2 p.m. I ended up leaving around 4 p.m. because I was losing feeling in my leg. The next morning, I got a query.
It got to a point where I was crying on the way to work. I had panic attacks and snapped at my family and friends all the time. I hated who I was becoming.”
Sarah’s take: “Toxic workplaces can trigger anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. When you’re constantly berated, your body starts to absorb that message. You feel trapped, and that hopelessness can spiral into panic attacks, exhaustion, or depression. Like in *Jachinma’s case, you may even lash out at people who love you. Once you begin to lose your sense of self, it’s time to prioritise an exit plan.
A Human Resource Person is supposed to protect employees, but in many Nigerian workplaces, HR simply echoes management. If HR enables abusers or becomes one itself, that’s not just a toxic culture; it’s dangerous.
“I was suspended from work for three weeks without pay, amidst my struggles” — *Aisha, 26
Toxic workplaces don’t just steal your joy; they can crush your self-worth and convince you that you’re not worthy of compassion. *Aisha can relate:
“I worked at a logistics company during NYSC. They didn’t pay salaries for three months, and I had to survive on ₦33k, which barely covered rent, food or transport.
One day, I told my manager I couldn’t afford to come in because I didn’t have money. The next morning, I got a query — on the general group chat — where he called me lazy and unserious.
It hurt me because I expected him to understand.. Instead, he suspended me for three weeks.
There was never any explanation or apology about the withheld salaries. Over time, I started withdrawing from everyone, even people who cared about me. I felt like I wasn’t enough.
Sarah’s take: “If, like *Aisha, you’re stuck in a toxic job, detach emotionally. Find something that’s yours —a personal goal, hobby, anything that gives you joy outside work. It’ll give you perspective. Also, lean on friends and family who love and affirm you. Their support will help protect your self-worth until you can walk away.”
“My blood pressure shot up” — *Hameed, 29
Beyond your mind, toxicity from work also affects your body and physical health. *Hameed shares:
“I had a managerial role at a food company, but instead of feeling empowered, I was always on edge. Whenever a staff member made a mistake, my superior threw me under the bus because he wanted to be in the CEO’s good books. Even when staff made mistakes, I paid the price. If funds went missing, they’d deduct it from my salary.
I was so anxious I couldn’t sleep. My blood pressure shot up. I was constantly sick and snapping at my fiancée, who didn’t understand what was happening to me. Truth is, I didn’t understand either.
Sarah’s take: A lot of people underestimate how physically the symptoms of stress and toxicity from work manifest. It can show up as headaches, high blood pressure, and insomnia. And even if you don’t ‘look’ stressed, that doesn’t mean it’s not real. Everyone reacts differently, even in the same environment.
“I began to question myself and my skills as an artist” — *Peter, 24
*Peter’s job didn’t just drain him. It made him doubt his competence and talent. He shares:
“My boss got me the job, so I felt indebted. But the way he spoke to me?Always condescending.
He’d give feedback in ways that made me feel stupid. Other colleagues noticed, so it wasn’t just in my head. But I couldn’t report him. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or cause problems.
Over time, I lost confidence. I began to question myself and my skills as an artist. Things I used to feel confident about suddenly seemed basic in my own eyes.”
Sarah’s take: It’s tough when your boss is also your helper, but silence only enables abuse. If they treat you poorly, you’re likely out of favour. If you can’t talk to them about how you feel, quietly plan your exit. In the meantime, seek feedback and encouragement from people outside that space who can affirm your work.
The bottom line
You spend most of your life at work. It shouldn’t leave you sick and anxious, or affect your relationships. If your job is stealing your joy, then it’s time to leave. You deserve a space that values you and lets your relationships thrive.
And to companies creating these environments? Free lunch and branded T-shirts aren’t culture. Culture is how staff are treated on a random Thursday morning.
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