Love Life: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

November 26, 2020

Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

Audio: We Fell In Love Without Ever Meeting

*Klaus, 28, and Lilian, 24, have been in a romantic relationship for about a year without ever meeting each other. For today’s Love Life, they talk about their love and how they cope with a long-distance relationship. 

long distance relationship

What’s the relationship here?

Lilian: Klaus and I are dating. 

Klaus: Lilian is the love of my life. 

How did you meet?

Lilian: In December 2018, we met in a school fellowship group chat.

Klaus:  There was a send-off party organised for her academic class and after the party, they posted some pictures in the group and that was how I saw her picture. My first reaction was, “Wow! This girl has an incredible smile.” So, I sent her a private message. 

Lilian: Really? I didn’t even know this.

Adorable. At what point did you fall for each other? 

Klaus: After talking for a while, we built a rapport. Although she was a little sceptical, the conversations we had were pretty decent. 

Lilian: For me, it wasn’t immediate. It was January or February 2019 when we would talk for 30 – 45 minutes on the phone. We had similar interests. He knew how to sew and I was just learning.

At some point, I realised that I was always looking forward to telling him about my day. That was when it hit me like, “Come oh, you like this guy.”

How soon after did you start dating?

Lilian:  This is a bit complex because I remember he told me he was going back to our school to get something, and then he casually mentioned he was going to see his girlfriend.

Omo, I felt like I was just there catching feelings no one was throwing at me. I started withdrawing because I didn’t want intense conversations anymore. I decided to bury my feelings.

Klaus: What? Really?

Lilian: Yes na. At some point, he told me he had broken up with his girlfriend, but I wasn’t convinced. Then when I went to NYSC camp in November 2019, we resumed talking for hours on the phone. My friends even started teasing me. The emotions I thought I had pushed aside came flooding back. 

Ahhh. I thought we buried those.

Lilian: Same oh. But when he travelled and I couldn’t reach him for several weeks, I started acting weird, snapping at people. Thoughts of him filled my head and it was so invasive.

I tried to deny those feelings because I knew we had not defined things. It was annoying because our story wasn’t a typical boy-meets-girl-and-goes-on-dates-with-her. I was mad at myself because I felt all these emotions without ever meeting him.

Deep down, I knew I was in love with him, but I didn’t want to be the first person to say it. Then on Christmas Day last year, I was about to sleep when he texted me, “I love you.” I called him back immediately and that’s how it started. 

Klaus: I think timing is everything. By the time I asked her out, she was in a better place to accept my request. That night was something else for me. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t call because I was lost for words.

How do you manage the distance? Do you fight often? 

Klaus: What? Makers of peace like us?

Lilian: Haha. I wouldn’t call what we have ‘fights’; they are more of disagreements. On my end, I am very reserved and like to keep to myself a lot. Sometimes, I tend to unplug from things and it affects the relationship.

We had an argument and that was when I realised that this relationship is different. Most times, I ghost completely after an argument and that’s the end, but in this case, I love how he makes me feel, so we end up sorting things out.

Klaus: I understand that you are very introverted and all but sometimes, I require more. You come through but only with a lot of cajoling on my end. 

Lilian: It’s not all the time na. It’s rare. 

Klaus: Mami, I never really register those things as serious issues. It was just the time when you had serious issues with expressing yourself and it put most of the communication on me. It wasn’t easy. I just think you need to put in a little more effort.

Have you guys ever tried to meet in person? 

Lilian:  We made plans but then Corona hit, so now, we are making new arrangements. 

Klaus: I have it all planned out. Problem is, I have a few work commitments so I just can’t go to see my baby girl yet. 

What’s the hardest part about long-distance dating?

Lilian: Not being able to have the simplest conversations with him physically present. I can’t wait till we see because if just talking to him makes me feel this way, then being with him physically should be explosive. 

Klaus: There is a special feeling that comes with being physically present with a lover. The heightened senses, prolonged moments of intimacy and longer periods of communication without uttering a single word. I just want to spend physical time with my love. 

This is just beautiful. How do you guys deal with the urge to…yunno?

Lillian: Yunno what?


Klaus: We recite by heart the book of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob until the urge to…yunno…dies a premature death. 

LMAO. Killing the spirit of horniness with the good book. Love it. 

Klaus: I like to fantasize for a bit without dwelling too much on it, seeing as nothing can be done about that. Sometimes, I call her and we talk for a while. That’s as good as it gets.

Lilian: Haha. I’m actually speechless by the way but yes. The urge comes and goes. I know I won’t look great as a pregnant corper so that quickly kills the urge anyway. I’m just paranoid, that’s it. 

Wait, is this a celibate relationship? 

Lilian: Yes. 

Klaus: I don’t think so. We are too far apart to define that aspect of our relationship right now. 

Are you worried the chemistry won’t be there in person? 

Klaus: Well, we do a lot of video calls, so I don’t think that’ll be the case.

Lilian: Oh, I’m sure I’m going to like him in person. 

Klaus: You’re making me shy. Haha. My fear is that the time we might get to spend with each other might not be enough for me. 

What do you want the first meeting to look like? 

Klaus: I would prefer the initial moments of our first encounter to be private, so that if there are any bits of excitement, it would be for our sole consumption. Then by the time we’ve exhausted all that excitement, we can look for a public space. I think we might spend a lot of time indoors. 

Lilian: I don’t want it too planned out because there’s already anxiety and nerves. I just want something fun. 

Is this your first time in a long-distance relationship?

Klaus: Yes, it is. Compared to my previous relationships, this feels better too. We have such a strong emotional and intellectual connection. She is the smartest woman, so it feels better.

 Lilian: This is also my first time in this kind of relationship. It still surprises me how I’m able to adapt so much. I usually call him my uncharted territory.

You know how you don’t realise how thirsty you are until you take cool water. That’s how this relationship feels to me. I didn’t know what I was missing until I had it. Bliss. 

What would you consider your biggest fear in this relationship?

Klaus: Not making the best out of the relationship. Caving in to the pressure and expectations people have of us.

Lilian: I fear that in the long run, we will start to yearn for more physical proximity, and the fact that we aren’t in the same city will affect that. 

Would you be willing to change cities to be with each other? 

Klaus: Without hesitation.

Lilian: You’re going to make me cry. Changing cities for me is a huge thing just because I have my family to consider. If work can move me there, then fine. That’s the concrete reason I want to raise with my mum when having that conversation. 

What do you love the most about each other? 

Lilian:  I love that we have things in common so that when we are talking, he doesn’t get lost. I love how much he pays attention to details. Most importantly, I love how he loves me. I love you, baby boy. 

Klaus: I’m glad I got to meet someone like my chubbylove. It’s rare to find someone so special. My introverted sugar and spice mami. She is truly irreplaceable in my life. 

Lilian: Awwn, babe!

Check back every Thursday by 9 AM for new Love Life stories here. The stories will also be a part of the Sex Life newsletter, so sign up here.

If you want to share your own Love Life story, fill this form.

Eris Ekanem

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 7, 2019

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old heterosexual woman who recently discovered the joys of sex under the influence of marijuana, and now sober sex doesn’t cut it for her.  When did you have your first sexual experience? My first kiss was with a girl when I was about 12. In my head, […]


Now on Zikoko

August 4, 2021

In this week’s What She Said, Aramide Kayode is a 21-year-old economist and teacher. She talks to us about switching to education after a 21-day prayer and fasting revelation, going to Harvard and getting married at the age of 21.  What’s your earliest memory of your childhood? I’ve always been talkative. I remember when I […]

August 3, 2021

You’re probably on the wrong side of Twitter NG if you’ve not seen any tweets from user, @deoors. Recently, I saw a couple of really nice tweets from him, so I decided to do a deep dive on his account and find some more bangers. You’ll smile (or chuckle a bit) throughout this post. 1. […]

August 3, 2021

If you are single and in search of reasons why you should get into a relationship, then you are in the right place. Here are eight reasons to convince you and not to confuse you as to why you need to get into a relationship 1) You have someone to be helping you zip your […]

August 3, 2021

The show has started and housemates are already giving their fans something to talk about. Here are five things you need to enjoy Big Brother Naija Season 6 wherever you are in Nigeria, other African countries, or the UK. 1. Cool Friends You may need to change your friends if they yab you for loving […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to, we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from Ships

August 3, 2021

If you are single and in search of reasons why you should get into a relationship, then you are in the right place. Here are eight reasons to convince you and not to confuse you as to why you need to get into a relationship 1) You have someone to be helping you zip your […]

August 2, 2021

Parents might have been the ones that birthed us, but that does not mean everyone likes theirs. 6 Nigerians tell us why they don’t like their parents. Sarah, 18 I don’t like my parents because of all the physical and emotional abuse I’ve gone through with them over the years. Some might see it as […]

July 31, 2021

Sex Life is an anonymous Zikoko weekly series that explores the pleasures, frustrations and excitement of sex in the lives of Nigerians. TW: Sexual Abuse. The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual woman who talks about hating condoms and how all that changed after an STD and two pregnancies.   What was your […]

July 29, 2021

Ending a relationship is not always an easy thing to do, which is why you have to do it right. There are easy ways to break up with someone without hurting your feelings in the process. Here are some of the ways. 1. Leave the country. Leaving the country is the best coping mechanism after […]

Zikoko love life: best friends to lovers image
July 29, 2021

Teslim*, 28, and Chibuzo*, 29 dated for four years and have been married for three. Today on Love Life, they talk about transitioning from secondary school best friends to lovers, starting their tech careers together and how they struggled with long distances before marriage. What’s your earliest memory of each other? Chibuzo: My earliest memory […]

Sex Life
July 24, 2021

Whether you’ve been reading Zikoko Sex Life for two years or you’re reading it for the first time today, here are some stories you must enjoy at least twice. 1. Awakening My Bisexuality At 27 I remember when we were making out, it was so intense that I suddenly felt the urge to tell this […]

July 22, 2021

It started with this tweet. Someone didn’t think this was necessary. But the rest of you were like: Here we go. P.S: This is not dating advice 🙂 1. Sounds fair, no? 2. What is yours is ours 3. I hear you. I hear you. 4. And they say the complete package doesn’t exist 5. […]

July 19, 2021

Not everyone hates their exes, some people still have fond memories of the ones who got away. Sometimes, relationships don’t work for reasons beyond our control and some people still hold their exes dear to them. Here are what some people have to say about their favourite ex: David, 35 I have known her since […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.