The Zikoko Guide To Becoming A Nollywood Sugar Mummy

June 17, 2020

1) First things first, take your husband from being the main character in your life to being a minor recurring character.

Either that or you just get rid of him altogether. How you choose to do that is entirely up to you. *wink wink*

2) Get a much younger lover.

Very important.

3) And fuck them up if they ever try to end things with you.

How fucking dare they??

4) No matter where you are or what you’re doing, be dressed in a ridiculously flashy Iro and Buba.

That or a pant suit. Either one works.

5) Serve ancient Chinese demon realness with your makeup.

And slay everyone’s fucking existence at the same damn time.

6) Even with the insane amount of money you have, buy and wear only the most fabulously insane wigs in existence.

Only the cheapest, stiffest, driest wigs will do.

7) Talk in the weirdest accent you can muster.

Sound like your attempting numerous accents at the same time and failing terribly at all of them.

8) Own a boutique full of sales girls who hate you.

They will try to poison you and seduce your husband. Shine your eye.

9) Have a group of other sugar mummies you hangout with.

So you can keep each other updated on what’s new in the sugar mummy community.

10) Lastly, have a sugar mummy who you really fucking hate and proceed to have sugar mummy battles with her whenever you cross paths.

Good luck!

Shoutout to @yungnollywood on Instagram for the pictures and videos.

Recommended Reading: 13 Wigs From Old Nollywood That Are Just Fabulously Insane

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 10, 2021

There’s no other or better way to put it: P-Square was iconic. The musical duo may have split now but back in the day, they gave us hit after hit. Today we are ranking a few of their most iconic songs. Personally This song was what you call a moment. It was essentially a homage […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Pop

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X