1) First things first, take your husband from being the main character in your life to being a minor recurring character.

Either that or you just get rid of him altogether. How you choose to do that is entirely up to you. *wink wink*

2) Get a much younger lover.

Very important.

3) And fuck them up if they ever try to end things with you.

How fucking dare they??

4) No matter where you are or what you’re doing, be dressed in a ridiculously flashy Iro and Buba.

That or a pant suit. Either one works.

5) Serve ancient Chinese demon realness with your makeup.

And slay everyone’s fucking existence at the same damn time.

6) Even with the insane amount of money you have, buy and wear only the most fabulously insane wigs in existence.

Only the cheapest, stiffest, driest wigs will do.

7) Talk in the weirdest accent you can muster.

Sound like your attempting numerous accents at the same time and failing terribly at all of them.

8) Own a boutique full of sales girls who hate you.

They will try to poison you and seduce your husband. Shine your eye.

9) Have a group of other sugar mummies you hangout with.

So you can keep each other updated on what’s new in the sugar mummy community.

10) Lastly, have a sugar mummy who you really fucking hate and proceed to have sugar mummy battles with her whenever you cross paths.

Good luck!

Shoutout toΒ @yungnollywoodΒ on Instagram for the pictures and videos.

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