How to Be a Baller on a Tight Budget

October 7, 2022

You don’t have baller money to flaunt, but you’re tired of the mechanic life, these tips will help you live your dream while staying within your budget.

It’s all in the mind

Yes, we’re starting with a motivational speech. First of all, if you can dream it, you can achieve it. Look in the mirror, place your hand on your chest, and say out loud: “I am a baller!”

Make your budget

Who’re you kidding? You’re obviously not a baller yet but you’ve just passed stage one. Next, you need to draft out a budget so your baller lifestyle doesn’t carry you where you don’t know. These things cost money, you know.

Dress the part

This is where you’ll need to get creative. Put on a choirmaster’s suit and combine it with the shoes you only reserve for the special Singles Connect service in church. Your drip may not be 100% but you’ll please God as you ball. 

Go to nice restauants…

…And buy the cheapest thing on the menu.. You’re working with a budget, remember? Don’t go and bite more than you can chew o. You’ll wash plates.


RELATED: The Zikoko Guide to Becoming a Baller 


Take some lit pictures

It’s all about perception. Deep down, you know you’re a mechanic. But the rest of the world can’t know that. You need to take awesome pictures for the internet so everyone buys into your baller narrative.

Hang around rich people 

You might actually increase your chances of becoming a proper baller by hanging around rich people. But if you don’t, at least you’ll look the part when you take those lit pictures for October dump.

Don’t lose focus

The last thing you need is to be distracted. You don’t want to lose focus and start spending beyond your budget to maintain your baller status. If inflation starts making it too expensive, go back to being a mechanic.


QUIZ: Are You a Baller or a Mechanic?


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