Nigerian Men, Here’s What Your Favourite Football Club Says About You

May 5, 2022

Football is more than just a sport; it’s a lifestyle. Knowing this, it’s easy to gauge people’s personalities based on the teams they support. After all, birds that flock together play ludo together, or however that saying goes. Don’t take this list personally because all I have is mouth, I can’t fight. 

1. Manchester City

All hail the kings of dorime! You have a lot of money and are not afraid to spend it. As a matter of fact, your motto in life is, “money stops nonsense.” You used to be a broke-ass guy, but you hammered money doing something no one can explain, and now, the whole world will not rest again. You’re also unproblematic and quick to move on from disappointment. Where will we find you? Probably in the club from Thursday to Sunday, using Azul to rinse your hand. 

2. Chelsea

You know you’re not that different from Arsenal fans, right? Just like them, you’re afraid of change. You said you’d leave with Mourinho, but look at you today. You also come from old money and a family that didn’t allow you to play football growing up because your skin was too fragile #AjebutterChronicles. You can be annoying sometimes, but your passion for the things you love makes you an okay guy last last. 

3. Liverpool 

Your head is too big and your ringtone is probably All I Do Is Win by DJ Khaled. You like to brag about how successful you are, thinking it makes you look like some kind of rockstar, but the truth is, everyone is tired of your bullshit. Oga, please, rest. On the plus side, you’re not all mouth. If you say you’ll do something, most of the time, you actually do it. Does your plan always work? No. But at least, you’re not afraid to try. 

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4. Arsenal 

You obviously like stress and failure at this point because, bro, why the hell are you still on this table? Arsenal fans are living on past glory that wasn’t even that glorious to begin with, so you probably like to remind everyone that you used to be a happening guy, even though your rep is now in the gutter. On the plus side, you’re a loyal and patient guy. Even though it always ends up in hot tears, your dedication is lowkey interesting to watch. 

5. Manchester United

You’re a reliable OG. Even when you disappoint people, it’s easy for them to ignore it because your track record has always shown you as a stand-up guy. Talking about your successes sometimes comes off as bragging, but you’re also old, and no one wants to offend a 30+ man. 

6. Real Madrid

You’re a fake guy. You’ve always had an easy life you didn’t have to work for. Because of this, you’ll always pick the easy way out and avoid stress. If they say bathing in salt will cure Ebola, you’d probably do it to avoid doing real research. We see through you, bro. 

7. Barcelona 

You used to be a popping guy, but you lost your biggest selling point, and now, you’re humble. You’re the kind of guy that made it really early in life, and just assumed the going would be sweet until your container sunk into the deep sea. Even if your enemies want to feel sorry for you, they can’t, because when the going was good, your mouth was doing cho cho cho up and down. Anyways, pele dear. 

8. Tottenham

You’re that guy whose friends don’t include him in their WhatsApp groups. It’s not because they hate you, they just tend to forget that you exist. You’re a sweet guy, but you’re not memorable, and that’s your biggest flaw. Try something new, bro. A daring haircut, maybe? Don’t give up yet. 

ALSO READ: Messi Vs. Ronaldo: These Nigerian Men Pick Their GOAT


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