The Craziest Things Men Do for the Love of Sports

January 25, 2022

Thanks to Uncle Bubu, AFCON brought both tears and rage to the eyes of many Nigerian men. These men were deeply enraged by the loss to Tunisia and Maduka Okoye suffered in their hands. Honestly, all we can say is, let’s see this energy on Valentine’s day o. The whole drama brought us to one conclusion: men will do the craziest things for the love of sports. We went out to test the theory and these seven ridiculous fanboys have proved us right.

1. Starving as a ritual

Timmy

I could never eat before a game. For instance, once Barca is playing in the Champions League, everything else has to be shut down. The only focus is Barca until the end of the day. Game days were like my own Sabbath day for football. There’s no food or work until the end of the game. Absolutely nothing was permitted to distract me and my mother understood the boundary. As long as Barca was on, she knew it would be war, getting me to do anything around the house.

2. Betting their life savings 

Chinedu

My love for football led me to gambling — up Madrid for life. It started out as a way to make quick money to fix my phone — I got ₦50k for betting ₦5k. Omo. After that I kept going. In the first three months I lost about ₦120k, but I kept going. There was just something liberating about placing a bet whether I lost or not. In January, I made my biggest bet and cashed out on the Real Madrid vs A. Bilbao match. I needed money to pay my rent, so I put in my salary for the bet. It was ₦300k and cashed out ₦600k. This is what I call dedication and hard work. If I didn’t win, it might have been a different story — I knew Real Madrid could never disappoint me.

3. Wasting their parents’ ₦600k for rubbish

Steven

My love for basketball started from my years as a teenager. When I was in SS3, I snuck out of tthe boarding school conpound  at night to watch a Lakers game. It was all night and I had my WAEC’s physics paper by 7 a.m. the next morning. After the game, there were no cabs and I had to stay behind at the viewing centre till the next morning. I didn’t get back to school until 8 a.m. and the invigilator didn’t let me in. That’s how I had to retake WAEC the next year.

4. Eating nonsense like milk and beans to win games

Mustaphar

My love for sports didn’t start today. I was in the acrobatics team in secondary school — I was ready to do anything to win a match. One of my friend’s told me to eat beans and milk so I could be light before one of the competitions we had in school. He told me I would be able to somersault and win the medal for our team. I ended up winning the silver medal, but I vomitted on stage. The principal asked me to clean up before presenting me with the medal. I never collected it because the principal was furious for the rest of the day; it’s thunder that will strike that guy that lied to me.

5. Hosting prayer meetings

Femi

As a football fanatic, I used to hold prayer sessions before my team played in any final. In secondary school, I wrote the name of every player on the team and placed it in my bible to pray over it. I kept up with the tradition for a couple of years, but Arsenal just kept breaking my heart. I remember casting and binding  for the Europa league final against Chelsea. I’ve never prayed for something so hard. Arsenal still failed me after everything. We lost by three goals. I was in severe pain. 

6. Disowning their children

Damilola

My daughter betrayed me. I had to send her out of the house for the rest of the day. It was a match between Manchester United  and Chelsea. Like any other human being, I was rooting for my club the Red Devils. Next thing, my daughter walked in chanting, “Up Chelsea.” She was about twelve then. I wanted to beat her honestly. I ended up making her sit on the chair in the balcony until her mother came back from work. That one can’t be my own offspring. 

7. Holding shit

Ben

I put my shit on the line for Arsenal o. As an Arsenal stan, I told my guy I wouldn’t shit for a full week if we lost the match. He was happy to agree because he always  complained about the way I blasted the toilet. Arsenal disgraced me and I had to hold my shit for a week. My guy and I work remotely, so he was watching me like a hawk. 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 3, 2020

It’s November again and everyone is going around shouting “NO NUT NOVEMBER.” If you think No Nut November means you don’t get to eat peanuts, groundnuts and walnuts in some sort of weird health awareness thing, you’d be dead wrong. No Nut November is an annual event where men are encouraged not to ejaculate throughout […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 20, 2022

Nobody will pass off a chance to win an all-expense-paid trip to KENYA with the winner of Nigerian Idol Season 7. So if you are still thinking, dreaming, waiting, or thinking you have enough time, then you are wasting time because this promo is ending on the 7th of June. Do we have your attention? Here’s […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Man Dem

Jude Dike wearing prescription glasses, before the eye surgery
April 30, 2022

Jude ( @bigbrutha_ ) used to wear glasses all the time due to myopia. But life changed for him when he underwent laser eye surgery in 2022. This is his journey from prescription glasses to 20/20 vision, as told to @the_amazingama. Read:

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X