9 Ways To Steal Your Guy’s Mother From Him

October 7, 2020

Being friends with a guy is fun and all, but when you reach the stage where you can call his mother “Mummy wa”, you’ve become brothers. Sometimes these things happen naturally, but some other times, you have to “trigger” the love of your friend’s mother by doing one or a few of the things on this list.

1. Dress reasonably around her

Just make sure that when you’re going to your guy’s house, you wear good clothes (preferably native), and make your hair look “responsible”. You get extra points if she has been trying to get her son to dress and look better. She’ll hit her son with the “Is this not your friend? Does he have two heads?”

2. Communicate with your native language

Nigerian parents are always talking about how we’re “losing our culture” because nobody ever speaks the native language anymore. Communicate with her with the native language she understands and watch her give you an extra meat in your meal.

3. Help with house chores

Many times, you don’t even have to help. Just boast about being able to cook a lot and lie about one time where you cooked some complicated dish. Then intentionally spill water on the floor when she’s not looking and make sure she notices when you get a mop to clean it. She’ll smile. This is the hardworking son she never had.

4. Call her mummy

Don’t be shy. Call her mummy. She’ll love you more and more.

5. Scold her son

This is the most important one. Insult her son in front of her when he does something that she doesn’t like. As she’s scolding him, join her. Say “Charles and you know we’ve talked about this o. I’ve been telling you. Don’t worry mummy, he will change. We’re working on it. I’ve told him many times.

6. Buy her fruits

Make them assorted. She will love you. Tell her you eat a lot of fruits because you know fruits are healthy.

7. Talk about religion

If you randomly begin to talk about religion, your friend’s mother will love you because you are pious and you can never lead her child astray.

8. Compliment her

“MUMMY! YOU ARE LOOKING SWEET 16! HAY GOD!” Then bring out your camera and begin to take photos of her.

“Gaseth her up and she shalt love thou.”

Motherlations 5:14

9. Recommend movies to her

Be the first person to say “Oh mummy, have you watched King of Boys?” Then throw your friend under the bus right in front of her when she says she hasn’t. Plug it into the TV and play it. She’ll have a nice time and she’ll love you.


Man Like – A series about men, for men, by men. Every Sunday by 12PM.

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 16, 2021

A few months ago, I was on a group where people were talking about how the culture of kneeling to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage was very new in Nigeria. The first thing that came to my mind was, “I wonder how my dad asked my mum to marry him?” I picked up […]

January 6, 2021

If your Nigerian man does any of the following then we have urgent news for you. Check it out below: 1) He sends Good Morning messages This is his way of secretly checking to see that you’re where you said you slept. Stay woke sis. 2) He texts you throughout the day He doesn’t love […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 14, 2021

Quick-fire camera flashes, hot stilettos and distinct music characterized the cool ambience at the venue of Desperados’ celebrity influencer showcase. The beer brand, which was first launched in Nigeria last December is known to be the charm of celebrities who dared to stand out from the crowd. It was no surprise that Mercy Eke, Timini […]

April 14, 2021

If you could transform your love for music into a full-blown career, which would it be? Let’s give you some pointers. Take this quiz. A career in music means you’ll most likely work to bring amazing stuff like Jameson’s Confluence Project, curated by Mainland Block Party. Go here to stream and enjoy the mashup vibes. […]

April 14, 2021

For the average African man, the assumption is that there’s marriage somewhere on the horizon once they are in the twilight of their late twenties. Playful jests of “when will you marry” start to chime in from all angles. However, not all men believe in for better for worse, nor in death doing them part. […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from Man Dem

April 14, 2021

For the average African man, the assumption is that there’s marriage somewhere on the horizon once they are in the twilight of their late twenties. Playful jests of “when will you marry” start to chime in from all angles. However, not all men believe in for better for worse, nor in death doing them part. […]

April 12, 2021

I am genuinely fascinated by relationship dynamics between Nigerians especially when it comes to giving gifts to their partners. So I set out to speak to as many Nigerian men who were willing to speak to me and asked them who the most generous partner they’ve ever had is. And the answers amazed me. Here […]

April 11, 2021

Today’s Man Like is Andy Obuoforibo, a 40-year-old politician and product manager. He tells us about how his father’s warmth and work ethic taught him the real meaning of masculinity, how his mother’s foray into politics influenced him to participate in politics and why he supports the LGBTQ+ movement as a Nigerian politician. When did […]

April 7, 2021

If you’re a man and you can read this, there’s something here for you. What does your footwear say about you? We have the answers. 1. Sandals You’ve seen things in this life, and there’s no need to even bother looking good anymore. Life is more than fashion. You’re probably also 40+. 2. Chelsea boots […]

April 7, 2021

In 2018, Luke*, a 31-year-old content strategist, was working at a media startup that required him to put in a lot of hours — a job he describes as “mentally draining”. However, even when he could clock out, Luke refused to. ‘‘Some days, I would finish working early, but I’d refuse to go back home […]

April 6, 2021

As told to Femi. Polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved. I met Chris* in a Zikoko Clubhouse room while he was describing his experience with relationships as a polyamorous man. He had quite the story to tell. I […]

March 31, 2021

The Nigerian society can be quite conservative. While the majority of older Nigerians struggle to enforce these religious and colonial-era dictates, a new crop of men is questioning the norm by wearing hairstyles outside the usual low-cut and cleanshaven look. I spoke to five of those men about their experiences going against the grain in […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X