8 Things A Real Man Must Never Be Seen With

August 31, 2021

If you didn’t get the memo, you’re getting it now. The Society of Toxic Masculinity has declared that it is gay for any man to be seen carrying any of these items

1. A handbag

Are you modelling for Chanel? Why are you carrying bag? Instead of squeezing all your belongings into two pockets.

Knomo - Bags That Work, Beautifully

2. An umbrella

It’s better for the rain to beat you as an alpha male. If they ask you why your clothes are wet, tell them that’s how real niggas do.

3. Lip balm

Lip balm? Don’t you know it’s gay to have healthy, moisturised lips?

Top 10 Dave Chappelle Moments - YouTube

4. Anything in pink

Are you really a real man if you own anything in pink? It’s obviously better to declare war on a whole colour just because it’s not “manly” enough.

5. A fanny pack

Fanny packs are only for the women and the gays. Real men don’t carry fanny packs. In fact they don’t carry anything at all.

Amazon.com | ZORFIN Fanny Packs for Women Men Fashion waterproof Waist Bag  for Disney Travel Running Walking Hiking (Brown) | Waist Packs

6. Painkillers

Why would you use painkillers when you can just bear the pain like a real man?

7. A banana

Real man don’t eat bananas. Real men don’t mind being deficient in potassium because eating bananas is gay. I don’t make the rules.

Portrait Of A Man Wall Mural | Wallpaper Murals | Wallsheaven-SHOTPRIME  STUDIO

8. Feelings

As a real man, you must never have feelings. You must keep everything in you chest, even though you’re about to explode.

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 18, 2020

Sony just announced the prices of their new home video game console, PlayStation 5 and the world is loving it. Starting from $500 for the PS5 and $400 for the PlayStation 5 Digital Edition, there’s a lot of anticipation for the long-awaited game console. If you’re interested in getting a PS5, but you don’t have […]

February 15, 2021

Horrible exes are the great common denominator. Most of us have them – people that we, at some point, thought or hoped would be the one but by the end of the relationship, we were like WTAF. As today is the day after Valentine’s Day, we got four Nigerian men to tell us about their […]

May 25, 2021

Modern-day fatherhood is no mean feat. Have you met children? Raising daughters is doubly difficult because of a culture and society that’s mostly unfair to women. Still, being a father to girls has its rewards in the small, unexpected moments. I discussed with five young fathers about their favourite things raising daughters. Ken Daughters aged […]

July 6, 2021

Every person who drifts into our orbit has some effect on us. Some small, some big. The most likely to leave huge impacts are the people we are in relationships with. I spoke with five men who told me heartwarming stories about how their partners have changed their lives. Feyi Before we started dating in […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X