9 Nigerian Men Reveal Their Definition Of Cheating In A Relationship

August 28, 2020

What is cheating to you? Is it physical? emotional? or in between? 9 Nigerian men tell us their definition.

Sit back and read:

Oga M./Early 40’s.

A lot of people only classify cheating based on what they can see – A man leaves his wife to hang with another woman, sleeps with her and gets caught and they say it’s cheating. Yes, he has cheated but that’s only one aspect of cheating as far as I’m concerned.

If a man or woman breaks any of the laws governing marriage or relationship, then you’ve cheated. So, it’s way broader than sleeping with someone and getting caught.

Firstly, if a man spends a lot more time with another woman who’s not his wife. If he gives that woman attention and time (so much time), that’s cheating.

If a man thinks of another woman, mentally, psychologically, more often than he thinks of his wife, that’s cheating.

If a man mentally has sex with another woman. That is, he paints a mental picture of a woman he’s used to (probably, in the office or anywhere else), he has cheated.

If a man spends too much time on his phone texting another woman, flirting with a woman, sexting. Even though they haven’t done anything physical, that’s cheating.

A man is supposed to give his wife a hundred percent of his time, his attention, his body, everything. Once you break any of these laws, then you’ve cheated on your wife or husband; either with their knowledge or without their knowledge.


When you start allowing another woman call you baby, you’ve cheated.


Cheating starts the moment you indulge in activities with another person asides your partner, especially with ulterior motives. i.e Showing undue care and affection.

One thing guys do a lot without realizing is attention sharing. The moment you start excessive calling, texting and spending more time together with someone who’s not your partner, it might lead to physical cheating.

You must always define your relationship with people of the opposite sex so you don’t end up sharing attention. It can be a slippery slope.


Cheating is just compounding little things until they’re not so little anymore. From the usual attention, any buff person gets, to encouraging flirtatious comments. To entertaining that affection and nursing some of our own. Then to that inevitable crisis of conscience. It becomes full-blown when we justify the actions we intend to take and even trivialize their importance and resultant consequences. Next thing, we’re acting on these very natural desires. Sometimes, I wonder if cheating is inevitable.


Cheating for me is explicit texting and physical activities like kissing, making out, and then sex.


Beyond the idea of having emotional or physical/sexual relations of a romantic nature with other people, my definition of cheating is taking other people outside of the relationship as anything more serious than “entertainment.” I know people don’t like being called entertainment, but really, that’s what they are. At least that’s what you are when you become romantic with someone 100 percent in love with another person who is just bored at the moment. It’s all about passing time constructively. It only becomes cheating when you take it seriously.


When I’m bored, I flirt. I make some people feel loved while practising my romantic gestures. I don’t see it as cheating. Cheating has to involve sex and orgasms for me. So, if I don’t give a woman an orgasm, I haven’t cheated. I just tripped and fell in between her thighs.


Cheating is when you start to give wife privileges to your girlfriend. As long as everyone knows their place, you’re not cheating. In fact, your girlfriend is even making the relationship fun for everyone. Some of the things your wife can’t give you, you meet her for it. That way, you’re not cranky at home.

I see that one as helping. As long as everyone knows their place.


Cheating is when they catch you oh. Ole ni everybody and it’s who they catch that is the culprit. Till then, all of us are not cheating, we’re just keeping each other company. Or we are doing besties. 😍

Hello Zikoko fam, something is coming soon. A series for men by men about men.

Watch this space:

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 28, 2020

Fapping. Beating your meat. Polishing the banister. Playing 5-on-1. Self-loving. Tapping into your potential. Finding Nemo. For something that has so many alternate names, masturbation remains a taboo topic in Nigeria, thanks to a society saturated with religion and purity culture. It’s a rite of passage virtually every man goes through at some point in […]

August 19, 2021

Zikoko can tolerate many things, but what we won’t tolerate is vintage revere shirt slander. They’re like the perfect pieces of clothing for any guy. Here are 7 reasons why we don’t allow vintage revere shirt slander in this house. 1. You can wear them anywhere You can wear vintage shirts anywhere. Your mom’s 50th […]


Now on Zikoko

August 18, 2022

Last weekend, Orijin, the custodian of culture was the toast of the Big Brother Naija Saturday night party-themed Orijinal Ankara party. Saturday night parties are the highlights of Big Brother Naija weekends and Orijin delivered with melodious afrobeat music, flamboyant fashion, and its unique taste. The Level Up housemates partied away decked in stylish Ankara […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Man Dem


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.