6 Nigerian Men Discuss Why They Don’t Want To Get Married

April 14, 2021

For the average African man, the assumption is that there’s marriage somewhere on the horizon once they are in the twilight of their late twenties. Playful jests of “when will you marry” start to chime in from all angles. However, not all men believe in for better for worse, nor in death doing them part. To them, a life lived without vows or a married partner is ideal. I spoke to 6 men who don’t want to get married. Here’s what they had to say.

Seun, 31

I’m quite resolute not to get married but recently, societal pressure is getting to me. At some point, you start to wonder if you’re the problem. My baby sister is getting married next month. After her introduction, I faced a panel of uncles and relatives who wanted to know if something was wrong with me. My uncle never stops advertising me to women. My mom is constantly praying and asking people to talk to me. She even makes my friends talk to me about it. Most times, I laugh off their concern, but deep inside I care about my mom’s happiness. However, it seems foolish to marry a person just to make her happy. Plus, I have siblings. They’ll get married and make her happy.

Ikenna, 26

I don’t want to get married because I don’t expect to live very long, due to some hereditary health conditions. I don’t want to get married to someone who I’ll end up leaving high and dry if I die. Same reason I don’t want to have kids. There’s some light pressure from family but it’s mostly friendly banter. 

Toni Dunt, 29

I’m not built for marriage. My personality just doesn’t fit into that sphere. I want to have children, but marriage is off the cards. All my children will come from one woman. I’ll cater for her and the children, but I don’t want to be responsible for her happiness. If she decides to marry someone else, that’s fine too. I’m not willing to sacrifice for anybody. It’s important that I have kids though, they’re something to look forward to in my old age. But all things said, I am only human and I believe in the word of God. If God says otherwise, who am I to say no?

Obi, 32

I’ve never considered being married. Thinking about it makes me cringe. The idea of waking up in the morning to the same person over and over is unbearable. Asides from that, I’ve been surrounded by failed marriages. My mom had come to terms with the fact that I was never going to marry before she passed. She thought her and my dad’s marriage had something to do with my decision. My dad already has 4 grandchildren, so he’ll be fine.

Teflon, 27

TW: Suicide

Growing up, my father and mother quarrelled all the time till they split in 2007. They got back together in 2013 but my mom passed in 2014. My dad went on to date several women and eventually married in 2017. A few months later, they started fighting and were divorced soon after. So forgive me if I’m not exactly thrilled about marriage. I like the idea of having my own person, but I have PTSD from women leaving me has driven me to the decision not to marry. I have an intense fear of women leaving me and would hate to get married only for my wife to leave as well. I don’t want to be another divorce statistic. Better to be a single man without expectations than getting married only to have it end abruptly. I’m also worried that the frustrations of marriage and family life might drive me to jump over the Third Mainland Bridge one day.

Loneliness isn’t a problem. I feel lonely when I’m in relationships. I’m probably not a people person. I’m made to be alone. My family is fine with my decision. They’re okay with anything that doesn’t offend our religion.

Omari, 21

My parents were separated before I was born. Growing up, I had to endure endless fights and the worst toxicity between the two of them. Both of them had different stories about how I was born and I don’t know which to believe. 

My experiences in romantic relationships have been bad too. I don’t blame the women I’ve dated. It’s just that I love too much and nobody can handle that over a long period. Being an only child, I’ve learned to enjoy my company and I plan on living the rest of my life alone.

Are you a man who would like to be interviewed for a Zikoko article? Fill this form and we’ll be in your inbox quicker than you can say “Man Dem.”

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 6, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

More from Man Dem


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.