When you have your lunch break, the personalities at the buka and the food are always enough entertainment to make the day better. If you have ever stepped in a Buka or a restaurant in Nigeria, you will understand how spot on this is.
1. The Queue Jumpers
These ones always acting like they haven’t eaten since they were born, trying to skip the queue. Uncle please respect yourself. All those on the queue are we selling beans?
2. The Space Keeping Liars
These ones are born liars, they come and tell you “I was in your front before you came here”. Sorry oh Mr. Buka Chairman, please go and join the line at the back abeg.
3. The Indecisive Person
They spend thirty minutes queueing for food, and then get to the front and say, “ah I don’t even know what I want to eat”. Like excuse me, were you sleeping since?
4. The Ones That Never Have Change
They are coming to buy N10 food, and they come with N1000 note and get angry when there is no change. Buka not Central Bank sir.
5. The Loudspeaker
These ones are the loudest.No matter what you do you can hear them once they enter, thing is whatever they are saying doesn’t make sense, but you can hear every word.
6. The Romantic Couple
These are the ones that are always in one corner, feeding each other rice and beans and sharing shaki. Oshey Mr and Mrs Romantic, don’t let pepper enter your eyes oh.
7. Mr or Mrs Packaging
Their tagline is “Can I get some cutlery for this amala and ewedu/Pounded yam and egusi please?”. These ones can even ask for chopsticks for their tea. Will you die if you use your hand eh?
8. The Glutton
“Abeg give me Amala N300 and four goat meat”,
“Is that all?”
“I just dey start, put one roundabout, two shaki, one ponmo, and two cowleg, make e big well oh”.
Brother… take it easy.
9. The “Fisi” “Jara” and “add more” Person
No matter the amount of food they buy you will hear “you no go put fisi for me? See as my soup small”. Sir/Ma pay more if you want more now.
10. The Philanthropist
You will be lucky to have these sort of people when you go into your favorite restaurant. They usually pay for everybody’s meal. See answered prayers and manna from heaven.
11. The Angry Football Fans
Once they land in the buka, word cannot be heard. It’s either the Messi Vs Ronaldo argument or why Arsene Wenger is a failure. Please can we eat in peace *dodges mole of eba*.
12. The Never Satisfied Customer
These are the most difficult people on the planet. Seems they come to piss everyone off. “Aunty, this your vegetable soup no sweet like yesterday”, “your shaki today no soft like last week own”, “why is the washing hand water cold like this”. Please don’t be this person.
13. The Troublemaker
These ones are a special breed. They are always on the lookout trying to be offended. Can you just eat in peace.
14. The chilled person
This person is always in his/her own lane in a corner enjoying their food, earphones plugged in and minding their business. Please be this person.