Zikoko’s Guide To Meeting Your Girlfriend’s Nigerian Parents

July 28, 2020

So you’ve decided to don your big boy pants, get serious with your life and settle down in a relationship. Thank God for small mercies. Just one tiny hitch: getting serious means having to meet your girlfriend’s parents. Ghen ghen.

Luckily for you, Zikoko has decided to help your life by putting together this short guide to meeting your girlfriend’s parents. Just take a deep breath, relax your navs and read on.

1. Make sure she’s The One.

First of all, you want to be sure that this relationship is IT. Like nothing dey shake. Why, you ask? Because, if you’re like me, you have only one parent-meeting-relationship in you. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page. This is not the time to be beating around the bush. BEAT THE BUSH GAN GAN.

Old Nollywood,” Meme Culture, and The Fluidity of Time | by Adaku ...

2. What to wear?

Now that you’ve settled preambles, you want to look your best. The saying “The way you’re dressed is the way you’ll be addressed”  (whatever that means) is a Nigerian parent favourite. 

That haircut you’ve been putting off? This is the time to do it. If you can barb skin, that’s the best. You’ve won Mrs Okafor’s heart. If not, barb something that looks responsible, in Nigerian parenting parlance. 

Remember that lower is always better, skodo is the best. If you have dreads or cornrows, I suggest you stick to being a shadow boyfriend to your woman. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

3. Hide your iniquities

Next: you see that earring/stud that you’re wearing? Remove it. This is also the time to cover that tattoo. Wear your clothing that’ll cover your ink, if not, express disqualification.  If you have a face/neck tattoo, I wonder what you’re doing reading this article.

4. Suit up

steve urkel GIF

Here’s a simple truth: Nigerian parents love suits. Once you wear a suit, you’re automatically responsible. Doesn’t matter what you do for a living. Just wear a suit.

5. Let’s see your LinkedIn profile

Speaking of doing for a living: this is not the time to be telling them about your music career. Perish the thought. 

This is when you tell them about your internship at Goldman Sachs or AFREXIM. If you work in a bank or in tech, even better. If you’re a doctor, lawyer or engineer, you’ve won.

6. Something light

Nigerian parents

Now you’re heading to their house. Find out from your babe if they are big on alcohol. If yes, it is imperative that you buy the finest whiskey in your pay grade or a nice bottle of wine. Just something light, yuno. If they are teetotalers, just buy a hamper basket. You’re doing well.

7. First impressions

You’re at the house. If your girlfriend’s parents are Yoruba, prostrate as flat as you can; ideally, your chest should be touching the ground but we don’t want to rumple your nice suit. Otherwise, greet in a manner that reflects your home training.

8. Finally…

…and most importantly, no inappropriate jokes. This is not the time to be Dave Chapelle. Get a feel of the atmosphere, laugh at her father’s dry jokes. 

Pro tip: tell her mother that you could swear that she and your babe are sisters; such is the nature of her youthfulness. This automatically gives 100 points to Gryffindor. It doesn’t matter that it is a lie. Just lie it. Thank me later.

If you enjoyed reading this, you should totally read Want to Trigger Your Nigerian Girlfriend? Try These Tips.

You'll like this

December 5, 2019

It’s almost the end of the 2010’s and there’s been enough gist in Nigerian politics within this era to keep us intrigued, from the political scandals to the rumors and even the feuds. Therefore, we’ve decided to jog your memory of the disagreement and grudges that have occurred in the Nigerian government before this decade […]

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 3, 2020

Without thinking too much, you can already picture some of the evergreen Nigerian albums you’ll come across in this article. Well, let’s get to it! 1. Adio, 33- YBNL “This joint dropped at the point in my life where I was hustling and the energy from the album just supplied me with constant ginger to […]

August 3, 2020

Housing is a problem for a lot of Nigerians. It is not uncommon to find several people squatting together in a small apartment. I spoke to a 25 year old woman who has been evicted thrice because of her vagina. How did everything start? My first memory of being evicted happened in my 300 level […]

August 3, 2020

Welcome to my TED talk. Today, I’m going to be talking about money etiquette young people should know. Because money is at the centre of our activities as human beings. I hope you find this useful: 1) If you borrow money from someone, ensure you pay back. If for some reason you can’t pay back, […]

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer.

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: Only People With Nigerian […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Inside Life

July 29, 2020

A haunted house is never fun when you live in one. The idea of ghosts sharing your toothbrush and watching you shower and have sex is something you might want to consider. Here is a list of ways to check if your house is haunted. 1. Doors open and close randomly If doors and windows […]

July 29, 2020

COVID-19. It’s pretty much all we hear these days. Never before has any singular event altered the course of human history. Every other day, we hear about new ramifications of this deadly disease: damaged organs, lung scarring, stroke, impact on the brain and mental health. Like these aren’t enough, reports and studies are showing ways […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X