The holiday gates are open and the IJGBs are landing with wanna-gonna and innit money. If you plan to secure one of them this December, stick to these commandments so you don’t get carried away.
First of all, don’t do it
If you’re thinking of getting involved with an IJGB, don’t do it. No matter how sweet they seem. It won’t end well, and you’ll shed tears in January. But if we’re already late, and you’re involved with one already, continue reading.
Break up and run
Now’s the time to pick up your bag and leave, to avoid stories that touch the heart. But if you love living dangerously, and you have coconut head, then make sure to do these things.
Fall in love with sharing
Market is tight, and the demand for IJGBs is high. There’s a chance your December boo has another boo. Don’t let that one vex you. Just develop team spirit and fall in love with sharing.
Enter with your eyes and hands open
Shine your eyes very well, so they can’t port to another IJGB with a better offer. You can’t be mixing business with pleasure. But if you’re going to stay too, keep your hands open so you can collect all their money.
Don’t catch feelings
Remember, you’re here for a good time and not a long time. Catch not these feelings that IJGBs will throw at you. Now, go forth and prosper.
Have more than one IJGB at hand
Your IJGB definitely has side pieces. Better do what’s in your best interests and gather like five so you can stay focused on the bag and not catch feelings.
Have a backup plan for when they all leave
Just in case you don’t listen, and you catch feelings for one of them, you need a shoulder to cry on when the breakfast comes. Because it definitely will.
Don’t text them after they’re gone
Let the end be the end. Just move on, and don’t text them again — until next December, at least.