If you have ever considered getting into spoken word poetry and you did not know how to go about it, we are here for you. Just remember us when you blow.
1) Use burial music
There is no spoken word performance without proper burial music. You might try to switch it up and use church music, but as long as the music is slow, sober and makes people wonder about the point of existence, you are doing a great job.
2) Rhyme like your life depends on it
Who cares if the words do not make sense? Just rhyme like thyme without the time to take the lime and do the crime in this clime. Think about it.
3) Dramatic pauses
Half-way through your performance just stop, take a deep breath and look around. The pauses sell the whole performance. So…
Sometimes you just need to scream. How else will the people know you are full of emotion? If you get some spit on the people in front of you who cares? HOW ELSE WILL THEY KNOW YOU ARE PASSIONATE!?!?!?!?
After all the shouting, your voice has to be incredibly low. Just a tiny whisper that will be hard for anyone to hear. It adds something special.
6) Be Sapiosexual
To be a spoken word artist, you need to be sapiosexual. You are only attracted to big brains. The bigger the brain, the more attracted you are. We all know that spoken word poets are the biggest intellectuals on Earth, so it makes sense that they are also only attracted to intellectuals.
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