You’re a Proper Nigerian Adult Because These 11 Things Are Keeping You Sane

March 24, 2022

All we wanted as kids were extra pieces of meat. But we went and grew up, and now, if we’re not dealing with the ever-increasing prices of foodstuff, it’s the national grid collapsing every other Eke market day. How do we stay sane in the insanity? As a Nigerian, these are the eleven things that are keeping you from losing your shit. 

1. Juice boxes

As a Nigerian adult, juice is the only reminder we have of the good days. Those were the easiest times when all that mattered was your 2go username. Some of us can’t survive if Capri Sonne or Ribena shrinks any further in size.

2. Coffee

It’s either as black as the hearts of people drinking it or you drink it with bougie things like almond and oat milk. Whatever you choose, we’re all getting through the day with the closest thing to legal hard drugs: caffeine.

3. TikTok

Millennials and baby boomers discovered they could clap and move to the left and to the right; now they won’t let the app rest. TikTok is the only thing bringing joy into their lives so we have to endure them.

4. Alcohol

It starts with telling yourself sweet wine is basically juice. Next thing, you find yourself recommending your best brand of alcohol to your colleagues and friends.

5. Friends

Take away the two or three people you know, and it’s over for you in this life. Better cherish the ones you have. 

6. Cartoons

You may deny it, but Cocomelon is the only thing keeping you sane. The older you get, the more you cling to the past. 

RELATED: Nigerians, Here’s What Your Favourite Adult Cartoon Says About You

7. Owambes and cruise

If you take away party jollof, asoebi and small chops, some people can die. For the rest of us happening babes, it’s life jackets for weekly boat cruises.

8. Inanimate objects

Once you clock 24, it’s fascinating how receiving free curtains and chairs can brighten up your day. As long as it’s useful for an apartment or car and it makes you smile, you’re getting old, my dear.

9. Food

Especially free food. Need I say more? The only thing Nigeria has in abundance is good food. Amala and gbegiri is lowkey the only reason some of us wake up in this country. 

RELATED: 8 Things That Taste Better When They’re Free

10. Sex

Now that electricity is playing hide-and-seek, I don’t know how you people are doing it sha. Kindly share your tips. 

11. Lies

As adults, our sanity is assured by the lies we tell. They may come back to bite us, but no one can take away the five seconds of peace we enjoyed before the storm.

ALSO READ: 10 Zikoko Articles That’ll Help You Properly Navigate Adulthood

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 17, 2020

Okay, here’s the thing: Nobody is asking you not to be sophisticated. But when you grow up in Mushin and you decide to act like you don’t know what it means to be a Nigerian, that’s where the problem is. Here’s how you can spot a fake Nigerian: 1. They say “cops” instead of police […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X