Why Do Nigerians Think Men Who Do These 6 Things Are Gay?

August 10, 2020

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?” 

First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled.

If you do some of the things listed below, they either say you’re acting like a woman or that you’re “a gay.”

.

1. Skincare

Men aren’t even allowed to have the most basic form of skincare apart from rubbing cream. If you own ordinary facial cleanser, people will pile on you to ask whether you’re a woman. To Nigerians, the end of skincare for men should be Irish Spring and Vaseline. 

If you use sunscreen, scrubs and toner, that’s the end. Nigerians will probably call the police on you. Abeg, take care of your skin before you come out looking like harmattan victim.

2. Pedicure/Manicure

What to do about nail fungus – The Sun Nigeria

Walking into a Nigerian salon for pedicure and manicure is like walking into the market naked. The women will look at you like you grew horns on your chest. Grooming your nails has nothing to do with your sexuality. That’s why your feet look like you were escorting the Israelites during their journey through the desert. Get a mani/pedi TODAY.

3. Wearing body jewellery

If you’ve managed to do the above things without being labelled as gay, Nigerians won’t let you escape this one. Wear an anklet and you are guaranteed to receive funny looks all day. In fact, anything more than wristwatch, chain and a ring is guaranteed to make you the center of attention. For Nigerians, multiple pieces of jewellery mean you’re “doing like woman”. If you wear waistbeads, forget it.

4. Using lip balm

You might wonder why so many people walk around with lips cracked like the dry Savannah plains of East Africa. Let me tell you why. It’s because Nigerians think men using lip balm is akin to them using lipstick and is, therefore, GAY. That’s why. 

Please, please and please, endeavour to use lip balm. Your partner is too shy to tell you but I will tell you on their behalf. Take care of your lips.

5. Snappy fashion sense

Denola Grey biography ▷ Legit.ng

Nigerians love a fashion-savvy man. Just make sure you’re not *too* fashion-savvy. If you are, you’ll soon start to hear whispers of “Maybe he is a gay.” Shoutout to the gay fashion icons. Nigerians, people can dress well and not be gay.

6. When they tell their bros “I love you”

When you finish fighting for the above, this is the final boss level you must fight. If you tell your Nigerian male friend you love them, they begin to avoid you like a plague. The toxic masculinity is so strong, fathers don’t even say it their sons.

Don’t tight the world to your chest. Relax small and tell your friends you love them. You will not die.

You should probably read Are Nigerians Now More Accepting Of LGBT Rights? Idk sha.

You'll like this

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

September 18, 2020

Ah, the English language. The multi-faceted, multi-use tool of communication that a few white people on a small island in the Pacific ocean forced on a country. It’s flexible and dynamic. You can joke with it, sing with it, and cry in it. You could even say the same sentences in differing situations and still […]

September 18, 2020

Many of us thought we couldn’t get out of university fast enough. There was a new life to live and hell lots of money to make. How’s that working out now? Anyway, we asked 5 Nigerian graduates about what they miss about university, and this is what they said. Ola, University of Ibadan University was […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

More from Inside Life

September 18, 2020

Ah, the English language. The multi-faceted, multi-use tool of communication that a few white people on a small island in the Pacific ocean forced on a country. It’s flexible and dynamic. You can joke with it, sing with it, and cry in it. You could even say the same sentences in differing situations and still […]

September 18, 2020

Perhaps it skipped your attention The Imo State Government has passed a new Administration of Criminal Justice Laws No 2 of 2020. But criminal justice laws are supposed to be routine. Except that buried somewhere in Section 484 of the law is a hilarious and terrifying clause that gives the Governor the right to detain […]

September 18, 2020

Today’s Abroad Life subject is a woman who left Nigeria in 2016 to study in France. She talks about how her love for travelling has made her visit thirteen countries in the past four years, and how, now that she’s settled in Germany, she’s noticed that everyone minds their business too much. First things first, […]

September 18, 2020

In case, you slept yesterday afternoon and suddenly woke up this morning, well, good morning. But a lot has happened. The Federal Government directed that all Nigerians should go to all the banks they have an account in and fill something called a “Self Certification Form”. They say the BVN, National ID, Voter’s Card, Drivers […]

September 17, 2020

This evening, the official Twitter account of the FG put out a thread of tweets asking all account holders in financial institutions (banks, insurance companies etc.) to fill and submit a self-certification form to their financial institutions. The main gist is that every person with an account with any Nigerian financial institution is required to […]

September 17, 2020

A short poem: Roses are red Lagos traffic can leave you dead Nigeria will always “fight” corruption But we need more action! Gist: The Federal Government has approved a bill for the management of assets recovered from corruption. If this bill is signed into law, the “Proceeds of Crime Recovery and Management Act” will create […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X