We Heard About Gerbilling And We Have A Few Questions

January 12, 2021

Where do I start? Gerbilling, which is also known as “gerbil stuffing” or “gerbil shooting”, is a sexual practice of inserting small live animals into the human rectum to obtain stimulation. Some variations of reports suggest that the rodent be covered in a psychoactive substance such as cocaine prior to being inserted. (Source)

Let me explain it better: People grab rats, coat them with cocaine and stick them up their butts because they want to moan and scream. Don’t people fear God?

“Gerbilling” comes from the animal known as gerbil which is the animal reported to be used for this act. There have been no confirmed cases of this act being done and many people believe it’s a rumour, but I’m pretty sure nobody sticks a rat up their butt and then goes on to tweet about it like:

Gerbil Tweet

Also, if nobody ever does it, how do you explain the speed at which this woman answered this question on Family Feud? How is that the FIRST THING she “randomly” thought about in one second?

So as you might imagine, I have a few questions about this subject.

1. What the fuck?

what the fuck

A gerbil? A rat? Inside your bumbum? I can’t even begin to unravel all the layers of questions I have. The same rats we see in our houses and set traps for? The same rats that ate my birth certificate? Those same ones? You will now lie down and have them walk inside you because you want to say “Yes daddy.” Anybody who does this needs help. Intense help. Rat?

2. Who came up with this?

Who sat in their bed one sunny afternoon and thought, “Wait o, see how rats are just wasting, running around. There are better uses for this.” When his neighbours asked him what he wanted to use the rats he was chasing around for, he probably replied “I want to stick it up my butt”, and everyone started laughing. Now look what we have.

3. Who agrees to this shit?

butt

What are the stages someone has to go through before they agree to stuff like this? Because I’m sure nobody begins to take off their pants excitedly when they hear “Oh shit, a rat!”

4. Do they train the rats for this?

Are these animals just automatically trained in the art of rectum pleasing? How do they know what to do when they get inside? Do they just vibe or they actually know where to go? Is there a School For Gerbilling Gerbils where they teach these things? We need clarity?

5. What if the rat doesn’t want to come out?

The rat has entered your rectum and now it thinks that’s the warmest and most comfy place in the world. It doesn’t want to come out. What do you do? What if it starts running upwards? What if it gets hungry? What if it’s claustrophobic and it starts having a panic attack? What if it had a heavy breakfast and now it needs to pee? Or poop? What if it is a pregnant rat that goes into labour? Do you see where I’m going with this?

5. Cocaine?

If you thought I was going to miss out on this part, you are wrong. Pablo Escobar no do reach this one o. We’ve watched Narcos. Did you hear about anyone stuffing cocaine into their butts? Now we’re here talking about cocaine flavoured rats.

I hope that after all these questions, you can now see how crazy this thing sounds. Peace be unto you.


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X