Things You Can Say During Family Dinner And During Sex

September 18, 2020

Ah, the English language. The multi-faceted, multi-use tool of communication that a few white people on a small island in the Pacific ocean forced on a country. It’s flexible and dynamic. You can joke with it, sing with it, and cry in it. You could even say the same sentences in differing situations and still make perfect sense. Such as during sex and during dinner with your entire family. Here are a few of them.

Don’t play with it, just put it in your mouth

We should try this more often…

That really filled me up!

I like it raw!

Maybe we should have warmed it up more?

If you lick it, you have to finish it.

Don’t talk with your mouth full.

I’m glad we decided to do this ourselves at home, rather than getting in the car and going out and just paying for it somewhere.

Pardon me, but I spilled something.

Pardon me, but I spilled something.

More, please

“Do you want me to pop an ice-cube in that?”

“Sorry! I’ve spilled my yoghurt everywhere!”

“The trick is to not put the cucumber in too early.”

Are you seriously going to try to put all that in your mouth?”

Am I getting just the merest hint of fish

This is SO good!

That didn’t take very long..!

I don’t know how you did that, but it was incredible!

Read: 14 Hilarious Tweets That Show Nigerian Men’s Complicated

Man Like – A series about men, for men, by men. Every Sunday by 12PM.

You'll like this

Olufemi Fadahunsi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 24, 2020

There has been a wave of the discovery of Covid-19 palliatives all across Nigeria. This is coming just after the wave of the recent #EndSARS protests. But while many state governments say that the discovered palliatives are for the poor and vulnerable people and that they were meant for onward distribution to other states, some […]

October 22, 2020

Let’s start here: On the 20th of October, 2020, armed men of the Nigerian army allegedly shot at peaceful protesters in the recent #EndSars movement. It is estimated that at least twelve people were killed in Lagos, and hundred more were injured around Nigeria. In light of this unfortunate and avoidable incident, we decided to […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer.

More from Inside Life

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X