6 Queer Nigerians on What They Are Tired of Hearing From Straight People

April 21, 2021

Being queer opens you up to many forms of abuse or intrusion into your personal life. For many queer people, one of the more irritating things that happen when you are queer and straight people know that, is the way they ask or say very vulgar and uncomfortable questions and statements.

Today, we asked six queer people what some of the most annoying things they’ve had non-queer people say to them.

Chika, 29.
Straight men are creepy! Whenever I meet one and tell them that I’m pansexual their reaction almost always falls into two categories: do you know someone who would be interested in a threesome? – which is offensive because they already assume I automatically want to sleep with them and even be in a threesome – or that if I sleep with them I’ll never go back to women. It’s so vulgar and insulting.

Kaylee, 25.
As a gay person, I hate hearing that “I’m not homophobic sha but I’ll make sure that my children don’t become gay” rubbish or the whole “gay people shouldn’t be around children” like we’re paedophiles or the thing where straight girls act like queer women are automatically attracted to every female that exists and that we’re violating them by just having asexuality.

Harry, 22.
As a queer person I am tired of hearing ” who is the man or woman”, “are you going to get married to a lady in the future” “how would you give birth”, “when will you stop.” It’s so funny that these questions even come from certain straight friends all when you try to come out or talk about your sexuality, well which I now know to never do again.

Lincoln, 28.
I think it’s the people that keep using the fact that the anti-gay law exists as their argument for why being gay is bad. They’re always like, “It’s a crime in Nigeria. So whatever you see, take it like that” which is insane because what Hitler was doing to the Jews during WWII was “legal” then so what the fuck are you saying? I hope they all catch fire when next they go out in the sun.

Linda, 21.
I feel like the quality of my life would increase if I never hear religious people say ‘we all sin differently’ or ‘God loves you regardless’. Those are very patronising and insulting things to say especially when no one asked you for it. My sexuality isn’t a sin, at least to me, if it is to you then keep it to you. It’s that simple.

Ayo, 24.
“Is (insert person’s name) also gay?”

Please how would I know? Do I look like a glossary for gay people? Even if I know, why would I tell you? I need straight people to stop asking queer people if someone is gay. It’s not my information to disclose and it’s frankly a very annoying question.

“When did you find out?”

I don’t know. When did you find out you’re straight? It’s like straight is synonymous with stupid questions. Let them find out you’re not straight, you become a test subject to them. All of a sudden they have one million questions (which frankly doesn’t concern them) they want to ask.

  • Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

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