6 Queer Nigerians on What They Are Tired of Hearing From Straight People

April 21, 2021

Being queer opens you up to many forms of abuse or intrusion into your personal life. For many queer people, one of the more irritating things that happen when you are queer and straight people know that, is the way they ask or say very vulgar and uncomfortable questions and statements.

Today, we asked six queer people what some of the most annoying things they’ve had non-queer people say to them.

Chika, 29.
Straight men are creepy! Whenever I meet one and tell them that I’m pansexual their reaction almost always falls into two categories: do you know someone who would be interested in a threesome? – which is offensive because they already assume I automatically want to sleep with them and even be in a threesome – or that if I sleep with them I’ll never go back to women. It’s so vulgar and insulting.

Kaylee, 25.
As a gay person, I hate hearing that “I’m not homophobic sha but I’ll make sure that my children don’t become gay” rubbish or the whole “gay people shouldn’t be around children” like we’re paedophiles or the thing where straight girls act like queer women are automatically attracted to every female that exists and that we’re violating them by just having asexuality.

Harry, 22.
As a queer person I am tired of hearing ” who is the man or woman”, “are you going to get married to a lady in the future” “how would you give birth”, “when will you stop.” It’s so funny that these questions even come from certain straight friends all when you try to come out or talk about your sexuality, well which I now know to never do again.

Lincoln, 28.
I think it’s the people that keep using the fact that the anti-gay law exists as their argument for why being gay is bad. They’re always like, “It’s a crime in Nigeria. So whatever you see, take it like that” which is insane because what Hitler was doing to the Jews during WWII was “legal” then so what the fuck are you saying? I hope they all catch fire when next they go out in the sun.

Linda, 21.
I feel like the quality of my life would increase if I never hear religious people say ‘we all sin differently’ or ‘God loves you regardless’. Those are very patronising and insulting things to say especially when no one asked you for it. My sexuality isn’t a sin, at least to me, if it is to you then keep it to you. It’s that simple.

Ayo, 24.
“Is (insert person’s name) also gay?”

Please how would I know? Do I look like a glossary for gay people? Even if I know, why would I tell you? I need straight people to stop asking queer people if someone is gay. It’s not my information to disclose and it’s frankly a very annoying question.

“When did you find out?”

I don’t know. When did you find out you’re straight? It’s like straight is synonymous with stupid questions. Let them find out you’re not straight, you become a test subject to them. All of a sudden they have one million questions (which frankly doesn’t concern them) they want to ask.

  • Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 23, 2021

BBNaija season is upon us, and that means that for the next couple of weeks, Nigerians will gather online to talk and argue about a show they love. While all of this is happening, some nincompoops will decide that they want to be villains and start spewing BBNaija hate speech. If you’re one of those […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2022

Just three months to the start of the 2023 elections, the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Senator Abdullahi Adamu, started a beef with the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). It wasn’t about electoral violence or vote buying but rather a new feature of the 2023 elections. The APC national chairman believes Nigeria […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X