Zikoko’s Guide To Planning A Recession Friendly Wedding

September 17, 2016

1. First of all, don’t tell anyone you’re getting married.

Tell them after maybe like 2 years of marriage.

2. Get married on a weekday, not the weekend where people have time to crash your nuptials.

Awon alakoba! Stay where you are.

3. When anyone mentions aso ebi, you’re like:

I don’t want to hear noise!

4. If anyone recommends a caterer that has an instagram page, this should be your reaction:

Their eye is too big please, bring the one that barely has mobile phone!

5. A reception is overrated, just share takeaway at court/church.

Everybody should carry their wahala and go!

6. No need for a wedding cake, it causes jedi jedi.

Give each guest an apple if they really want something sweet.

7. Instead of a DJ, just attach your brother’s phone to the speakers.

All na entertainment.

8. No need to rent a hall, if your father has a sitting room.

If they don’t like it, they should not come!

9. No need for souvenirs, how can you give guests presents?

Are they not the ones supposed to give you presents?

10. If you are really serious, just elope!

Go to court, sign the papers and be done with all the wahala!

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 20, 2020

Every Monday morning brings along with it drama leftover from the weekend. In Nigerian offices, there are various personalities. The best time to observe this difference in behavior is on a Monday morning. Here are the various types of Nigerian co-workers you will observe at the start of a new week. The can it be […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X