Zikoko’s Guide To Planning A Recession Friendly Wedding

September 17, 2016

1. First of all, don’t tell anyone you’re getting married.

Tell them after maybe like 2 years of marriage.

2. Get married on a weekday, not the weekend where people have time to crash your nuptials.

Awon alakoba! Stay where you are.

3. When anyone mentions aso ebi, you’re like:

I don’t want to hear noise!

4. If anyone recommends a caterer that has an instagram page, this should be your reaction:

Their eye is too big please, bring the one that barely has mobile phone!

5. A reception is overrated, just share takeaway at court/church.

Everybody should carry their wahala and go!

6. No need for a wedding cake, it causes jedi jedi.

Give each guest an apple if they really want something sweet.

7. Instead of a DJ, just attach your brother’s phone to the speakers.

All na entertainment.

8. No need to rent a hall, if your father has a sitting room.

If they don’t like it, they should not come!

9. No need for souvenirs, how can you give guests presents?

Are they not the ones supposed to give you presents?

10. If you are really serious, just elope!

Go to court, sign the papers and be done with all the wahala!

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