All The Things We Hate About Weddings

November 16, 2016

1. When it’s a family wedding and your parents volunteer you for all these nonsense activities.

Who told you I want to be in charge of RSVP’s?

2. When you have to pay for aso ebi by force.

Especially if you don’t even like the couple like that!

3. When random family members start announcing “don’t worry it will soon be your turn”.

Thank you oh! Prophet of marriage!

4. When the caterers and waiters collude to frustrate you from getting the small chops and alcohol you deserve!

You people want all of us to be unfortunate here abi?

5. When the MC calls you out to catch the bouquet.

Is it by force? Or is there money inside?

6. When your ex is at the wedding and starts giving you “this could have been us but you’re an olodo” looks.

Better carry your eye from here please.

7. When the live band and DJ are competing and the whole place is just noisy.

You people please don’t burst my eardrums!

8. When you’re tired but the people you came with are still forming “I’m having fun” so you can’t leave.

Can’t you dance at home?

9. When people start introducing you to every Tom, Dick and Harry as though you are now a desperate person.

Please all of you should leave me alone!

10. When after all your dancing you don’t get sprayed up to 500 naira.

Is it because I’m not the person marrying?

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