The Step By Step Guide To Being The ‘Perfect’ Daughter-In-Law

October 26, 2016
Satire! Satire! Satire! Please and thank you!

1. First of all, your work starts immediately the boy starts toasting you.

You have to tender your CV and Cover letter to his  mother!

2. Run to greet his mother in her house everyday like:

No need to bath sef, just carry yourself there.

3. Don’t forget to greet his siblings, uncles, aunts, neighbours, cousins, friends….. you get the gist!

Including the house girl and  gateman.

4. You must call your mother-in-law ‘mommy’, nothing else!

Because she has blessed you with her son. She is a God to you!

5. Don’t make the mistake of calling his siblings by name! Even his 5 year old sibling is OLDER THAN YOU!

If you don’t want her to slap you, respect yourself.

6. If you have any sense, go and do your mother-in-law’s laundry every weekend.

Let her know washing is your hobby.

7. If you don’t know how to cook, my dear, don’t bother with her son.

The only thing you’re allowed to ask her when she visits.

8. Study and understand the movement of her eyes.

She’s only trying to give you the home training you lack.

9. You have to add ‘Jesus is Lord’ after every sentence, so she knows it’s real.

Let her know you are the mother of all prayer warriors!

10. When she visits you, make sure she always sees you with a broom.

You can’t come and keep her precious son in a dirty house!

11. When she’s abusing you and your whole generation, keep shut!

She’s talking, you’re talking. No home training!

12. Don’t ask your husband for money when she’s around.

Don’t come and kill her son for her. You too go and born your own!

13. You must get pregnant on the night of your wedding.

“After 2 days and you’re not pregnant?”

14. If your first child is not a boy, it’s your fault.

Just carry your unfortunate self to beg for her forgiveness o!

15. If your mother-in-law lives in your area, you must send her food to her morning, noon and night.

Do you now want to kill her ni?

16. If there’s a family event, you are the official caterer.

What else are you doing with your life?

17. Don’t forget to thank your mother-in-law for giving birth to your husband for you.

” It is an honor and privilege to marry your son!”

18. And if her son cheats on you because you’re not wife enough, you used your own hand to cause it.

Again, run to her for forgiveness.

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