The 20 Characters That Make Up Your Crazy Extended Family

July 27, 2016

1. Your “fruitful” grandfather

He is the reason you have a thousand aunties and uncles (and counting), and a million cousins (and counting).

2. Your long-suffering grandmother

It’s just because of God she is just managing herself for her children and grandchildren oh! But she is always happy to see you, your siblings and cousins.

3. Your sharp-mouthed step-grandmother

She can abuseeeeeeee everybody in the compound including her husband, children and grandchildren.

4. Your over-educated uncle

His day is not complete if he does not blow unnecessary grammar.

5. Your troublesome aunty

Before anybody can talk she has already scattered the whole place. Trouble follows her wherever she goes.

6. Your rich and dodgy uncle

Nobody is sure the source of his wealth but he’s always bringing different cars to visit the family.

7. Your classy aunty

Always so crisp and clean! You’re not even sure how she is related to you people sef.

8. Your stingy uncle

So so stingy! His wife and children are always complaining sef!

9. Your emotional aunty

She can CRY for Africa! If she’s happy oh, sad oh, pregnant oh, just won the lottery oh, all join. She must sha cry.

10. Your dissatisfied uncle

Always eyeing his siblings’ (including your parents) property and belongings. The reason you parents update their wills regularly.

11. Your recently “born again” aunty

She claims to no longer be “in the world” and now is always preaching up and down. One day, one message!

12. Your “get rich quick” uncle

He is always planning one scam or the other that will make him an overnight millionaire. He is yet to succeed sha.

13. Your suave uncle

Smooth, cool and fine. Can bamboozle his way in and out of any situation with a smile and a wink.

14. Your “hustling” cousin

She claims she owns a shop and that’s why she has so many bags and shoes but nobody in the family believes her.

15. Your “abroad” cousin

Comes home once every 4 years and spends his whole trip talking about “back in the Unided States”.

16. Your hot cousin

The baddest babe in the family! Everyone’s “go-to” for fashion and style tips.

17. Your “fine boy” cousin

Always has a new girlfriend and plenty girls are always chasing him sha. Thinks being a fine boy is a full time job.

18. Your dramatic cousin

Her emotions are always raised to power 100. So so extra!

19. The cantankerous twin cousins

There has been family meeting because of them a few times. Always causing trouble from one place to another.

20. Your “exposed” cousin

Because she travelled abroad once 3 years ago, she will not allow anybody hear word. Everyday “fiun fiun fiun”

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