We all know the economy is really tight and everyone wants another source of income. If you have ever thought of starting a church, we read your mind. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to start your own money-spinning church.
You need to answer the call of ‘God’
Just find that call from anywhere or make up a story. “I was pricing fish and the fish said…”.
Also find a way to involve your wife because team ministry
She has to make up her own story. “So when I was cleaning the fish, I saw a letter from God inside…”
Select your own hairstyle identity
Of course, how else will your church members know which hairstyle to do?
Select the dress code for yourself and your church
It has to be a uniform something. Either dress down casual, club attire, turtleneck, show back, bikini etc. God looks at the heart don’t worry.
Take members from your current church or from anybody’s church
It doesn’t matter, we will all enter the same heaven.
Now you have to assemble your team of pastors
Of course you cannot do it alone. Only one LASTMA official can’t be at a checkpoint.
Gather a fire praise and worship group
IF NIGERIANS CANNOT SHOKI OR DAB IN YOUR CHURCH THEY WON’T COME! Don’t play yourself.
Select your marketing plan or start a crusade
You need to appeal to the Nigerian challenges and problems because this life is hard.
Don’t forget to collect seed offerings and pledges at your crusade
How else do you want to pay your pastors and buy your car?
Visit your members every weekend if you can
How else will you trap them and make them come back?
Find a way to get on the news or TV
Go to a cemetery, raise the dead, or heal 100 “crippled” people even if they were in good health.
Invite one popular pastor or three for a life-changing, power-packed event at a stadium
Of course, you need to draw attention and bring other new members one way or the other.
DON’T FORGET TO COLLECT OFFERINGS TEN TIMES
You need to raise money for the invited guests flights and hotel rooms. That private jet won’t buy itself.
Encourage your members to buy you good gifts (must be expensive)
From 2016 Prado, to Range Rovers, maybe a jet. All color white because you must represent purity always.
Open a School
Secondary school, university, anything. Or even both. Added revenue. Say bye bye to poverty forever. Thank us later.
In this Letter #ToHER, Timah (@faytermah) apologises to her best friend for the times she hasn’t been a great friend. Timah wants her to know she still imagines going on evening dates, dancing and murdering the lyrics of songs together.
Today’s Man Like is Mr Grey, customer service expert. He talks about what it was like surviving life in a military secondary school, finding a tribe of people he can be himself with in his 40s and why death doesn’t move him anymore.
“The anime character I find wicked is Yagami Light from Death Note. Nobody is wickeder than that dude, abeg. He had a god complex, and I honestly don’t understand how people keep saying he’s right! HE’S NOT!”
Imagine having to keep your page on private because you’re worried your students would find it. And a bunch of other unspoken rules that come with different professions.
While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:
Are you straight, gay, bisexual, pansexual or asexual? Well, we are willing to bet that this quiz knows. Just pick a few of your favourite things and we’ll reveal your sexual orientation. Give it a shot:
2020 is almost over, and while we spent most of the year indoors, we are sure that didn’t stop y’all from increasing your body count. So, we’ve created a quiz that knows how many people you slept with this year. Take to find out:
While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:
2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant. So, in a bid […]
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
In just three weeks, so much has happened on this season of Big Brother Naija. Have you been able to keep up? Do you know all the tea? Take this trivia quiz to find out.
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