How To Start A Successful Nigerian Church Business

April 23, 2016
We all know the economy is really tight and everyone wants another source of income. If you have ever thought of starting a church, we read your mind. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to start your own money-spinning church.

You need to answer the call of ‘God’

Just find that call from anywhere or make up a story. “I was pricing fish and the fish said…”.

Also find a way to involve your wife because team ministry

She has to make up her own story. “So when I was cleaning the fish, I saw a letter from God inside…”

Select your own hairstyle identity

Of course, how else will your church members know which hairstyle to do?

Select the dress code for yourself and your church

It has to be a uniform something. Either dress down casual, club attire, turtleneck, show back, bikini etc. God looks at the heart don’t worry.

Take members from your current church or from anybody’s church

It doesn’t matter, we will all enter the same heaven.

Now you have to assemble your team of pastors

Of course you cannot do it alone. Only one LASTMA official can’t be at a checkpoint.

Gather a fire praise and worship group

IF NIGERIANS CANNOT SHOKI OR DAB IN YOUR CHURCH THEY WON’T COME! Don’t play yourself.

Select your marketing plan or start a crusade

You need to appeal to the Nigerian challenges and problems because this life is hard.

Don’t forget to collect seed offerings and pledges at your crusade

How else do you want to pay your pastors and buy your car?

Visit your members every weekend if you can

How else will you trap them and make them come back?

Find a way to get on the news or TV

Go to a cemetery, raise the dead, or heal 100 “crippled” people even if they were in good health.

Invite one popular pastor or three for a life-changing, power-packed event at a stadium

Of course, you need to draw attention and bring other new members one way or the other.

DON’T FORGET TO COLLECT OFFERINGS TEN TIMES

You need to raise money for the invited guests flights and hotel rooms. That private jet won’t buy itself.

Encourage your members to buy you good gifts (must be expensive)

From 2016 Prado, to Range Rovers, maybe a jet. All color white because you must represent purity always.

Open a School

Secondary school, university, anything. Or even both. Added revenue. Say bye bye to poverty forever. Thank us later.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X