13 Things You Will Recognize From Falling Sick In A Nigerian Home

July 22, 2016

1. When you tell your mother you’re sick and she says “you’re strong in Jesus’ name.”

Amen! But I’m still vomiting sha.

2. How your parents see themselves when you fall sick:

You people are now doctors, abi?

3. When your mother feels your forehead to check your temperature.

Hian! Is it only malaria?

4. The real doctors in every Nigerian home:

Nigerian parents not-so-secret weapon.

5. “I have a cold.” “I was shot in my leg.” “I was hit by a trailer.”

Robb is the answer when you don’t even know the question.

6. The last stop before your parents actually take you to a hospital

Can’t even imagine using it to cook. It is anointing oil now and forever.

7. The sick Nigerian’s unofficial diet:

THE BEST.

8. When you think sickness will stop you from going to school.

When it’s not that you’re dead.

9. When your parents still wake you up to go and wash pot.

Hay God!

10. Your mother, when you fall sick on a Sunday.

Holy Spirit will heal you.

11. When you vomit in front of your parents.

That’s the only explanation.

12. When your parents suddenly start acting nice to you.

Oh? I should fall sick more often.

13. Your mother, if your sickness lasts longer than 4 days:

Better get up.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 11, 2020

Yesterday, 15 #EndSARS protesters were arrested and detained at the State Police Headquarters, Eleweran, Abeokuta, Ogun State. Akinbayo Damilola, Adeniyi Marcus, Akinola Ibrahim, Adele Sodiq, Ifedayo Orimolade, Aikomo Oluwatobi, Damilola Odolowu, Oladepo Olateju, Olayinka Dayo and Omogbolahan Oladayo were arrested at the #EndSARS protests and denied access to their lawyers. While some online reports say […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X