A Post For Nigerians Who Love Food, By Nigerians Who Love Food

Avon Healthcare | Inside Life
July 20, 2016

1. When you don’t want to go out but you hear “free food”.

My body is ready.

2. When you go for a buffet and someone tries to enter your front.

Better respect yourself.

3. When your mother starts doubting your stomach.

4. When the person serving food at the owambe keeps passing you.

See my life.

5. When the caterer tries to block your blessing.

Better face your front.

6. Your plate at every owambe:

Can’t dull it.

7. When you follow your friend to a fancy restaurant and you see the tiny portions.

Am I a goat?

8. When there is still flesh on your bone and your waiter tries to clear your plate.

You want to die, ba?

9. When someone wants to take you on a date that doesn’t involve food.

Are we in the abroad?

10. Your monthly food budget:

Food is the most important, abeg.

11. When you buy take-away but finish the food before you get home.

Don’t judge me.

12. When your friend says you spend too much money on food.

Face your front.

13. Nigerian mothers: “…when you’re always eating.”

Hay God!

14. When you dish your food and one aunty comes to say “for you alone?!”

Please, go to your house.

15. When your siblings eat the food you kept in the fridge.

Blood is not thicker than food oh!

16. When the person saying grace for food starts praying too long.

Can we eat, biko?

17. You, leaving every party with food like:

I cannot carry last.

If you love food as much as we do, don’t carry last on the 500dishes Foodfest:

YASSS!!! Zikoko will be there hosting the food competition of life – Zikoko Hunger Games.

And before you say Zikoko never did anything nice for you, we will be giving away free tickets to some lucky readers.

All you have to do is share this post on either Twitter or Facebook and we will pick at random.

You can also get 10% off when buying your 500dishes foodfest tickets using the voucher code “ZIKOKO”.

Head to 500dishes.com/foodfest to get your tickets.
Sponsored by
Avon Healthcare

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 31, 2020

With everyone in isolation due to the coronavirus pandemic, people have had to find ways to stay in touch and entertain themselves. One app that Nigerians seem to have flocked to is HouseParty, a video-calling social network. So, we created a listicle that every Nigerian on it can relate to. 1. When you saw everyone […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 5, 2022

After two months of back and forth, we’re pleased to announce the presidential candidate of the Labour Party (LP), Peter Obi, has finally released his manifesto! The manifesto has attracted mixed reactions from fans and haters alike since Obi announced the 72-page document on December 4, 2022. But, what exactly is the content of this […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X