If You’ve Ever Been A Hustling JJC In Lagos, This Is For You
Renmoney
September 21, 2016
Share this story
This post is sponsored by Hustle, brought to you by Africa Magic
1. When you graduate from school and realise your village is no longer your size.
“I was made for bigger things.”
2. So you pack your bags and move to Lagos.
As per the happening place in Lagos
3. How your mother prays for you when you’re about to leave home.
She will now bathe you with annointing oil.
4. How you shine teeth with everybody.
I have arrived oh!
5. When you’re nice to the conductor and he carries your change:
Na wa oh!
6. When you ask for cheap accommodation and they carry you to Sango-Ota
Kuku take me back to my village.
7. After Lagos agents have dealt with you:
Na wa oh!
8. When you find out how expensive food is:
“I like fasting anyway”.
9. When you meet your village brother and he ends up cheating you.
No loyalty in the jungle oh!
10. When your village people ask why you’ve been avoiding them.
I’m not coming home till I hammer!
11. When you just want to buy pure water but end up sleeping in traffic.
Na wa for this city!
12. When you close your eye in a danfo and wake up in Ikorodu.
AH!
13. After all the wahala, the most important thing you’ve learnt:
Never forget!
If you enjoyed this, then you’ll definitely love “Hustle”, an amazing new dramedy on Africa Magic Urban that follows the antics of Dayo, a JJC to the city of Lagos! Catch it on Africa Magic Urban 153 at 21:30 CAT (8.30pm Nigerian time) from October 3, 2016.
If there’s one thing about Zikoko quizzes, it’s that they are surprisingly accurate. Today, we’re asking a simple question: What makes you dateable? Is it your sense of humour or your brains? Don’t answer, take this quiz and we’ll tell you:
The actress in this #NairaLife has 99 problems. The biggest one? Not knowing her next payday and figuring out how best to manage this situation. What’s your oldest memory of money? It was walking in on my mum and her salesgirl counting money when I was 11. Out of curiosity, I asked my mum what […]
What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it means […]
Are you a scaredy-cat or a daredevil? Wait, don’t answer that. Take this quiz instead and find your answers. Remember, Zikoko quizzes are always accurate.
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who has never had penetrative sex because she’s embarrassed by the way her vagina looks.
Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]
With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]
Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]
In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:
Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?
Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]
Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]
In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]
Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]
Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
If there’s one thing about Zikoko quizzes, it’s that they are surprisingly accurate. Today, we’re asking a simple question: What makes you dateable? Is it your sense of humour or your brains? Don’t answer, take this quiz and we’ll tell you:
Are you a scaredy-cat or a daredevil? Wait, don’t answer that. Take this quiz instead and find your answers. Remember, Zikoko quizzes are always accurate.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.