15 Accurate Responses To The Annoying ‘How Was Your Night?’ Question That Nigerians Ask

March 14, 2016
“How was your night?” is not a greeting. If you don’t want to listen to how I slept in a pool of my own sweat because there was no light, please don’t ask.

1. “Why?! What did you hear?! Tell me what you know!”

I’m curious too!

2. “Terrible, I had a nightmare that you would ask me this question.”

And apparently dreams do come true.

3. “I don’t know. I slept off as soon as it started.”

What else you wanna know?

4. “Quite nice. Spectacular. I’ll rate it 5/5. Will definitely try again.”

We good?

5. “I closed my eyes, opened them and it was over!”

And I’m still mad.

6. “I thought it was amazing till you asked me about it.”

7. “Well, I tried to kill myself about 5 mins back, thinking about you asking me this question, but I didn’t succeed and here we are.”

Excuse me while I try again.

8. “Would you really like to know, or are you just being polite?”

Because I have a story to tell.

9. “Of all the nights I’ve been asleep, it was definitely one of them.”

Wait, why aren’t you laughing?!

10. “Wow, how disappointing was that question. I’m alive, obviously, if that’s what you’re asking.”

You know, since I’m talking to you and all.

11. “Assume whatever you want.”

For real.

12. “It’s hard to say now that I’m awake.”

Don’t care.

13. “Extremely, dangerously average.”

How was yours?

14. “Same as always. I thought about doing something different but I’m kind of set in my ways.”

What can I say?

15. “I didn’t get enough sleep to answer this question.”

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 15, 2021

If you watch football regularly, you’ll enjoy seeing people humiliate their opponents by dribbling them just to hear the crowd go wild. If you play football, you’re either the one who dribbles people or the one who gets dribbled. If you’re the one who gets dribbled, you’ll be able to relate to this. And you […]

January 15, 2021

Annual remittances to Nigeria are estimated to be approximately $24bn, accounting for 6% of GDP, according to research by PwC. The importance of these overseas transfers has been amplified by the global pandemic and economic downturn. In response to the Central Bank of Nigeria’s Directive on international money transfers, WorldRemit was the first cross-border payments […]

January 15, 2021

Dear men, you never know what to do after you send a woman pictures? Well, we are here to help. 1) Send us money Looking at your beautiful pictures has caused us eye pains because your beauty is blinding. You have to pay for eye treatments. 2) Buy us a new wig Your beauty just […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X