If Cooking Stresses You Out, This Post Is For You

August 23, 2016

1. When you hear someone say it’s your turn to cook.

Oh no, not again!

2. When you’re done making a Nigerian meal.

If you don’t sweat after cooking , that food can never be sweet!

3. How the kitchen looks like a battlefield when you’re done with it.

The more scattered, the better!

4. Your mum’s reaction when she eats your food.

Ahn ahn mummy, its just a little salt now!

5. When you finally discover a Nigerian recipe App.

Yesss! Time to shame all the people who think I’m a bad cook!

6. When you’re making the food exactly as you saw it on Youtube, but the food is just not having any sense.

I think this egusi has malaria!

7. You, when you finish making swallow.

I hate this life so much right now!

8. After all the turning and gyrating, the swallow will now be looking like stone.

I’m done. Just done.

9. When you’re using your recipe app to cook and your phone dies.

Kuku kill me!

10. When your mum starts telling all her friends how you don’t know how to cook.

Mummy you’re the one that taught me! So Kontinu!

11. When that amebo aunty comes at you with that ‘You must cook for your man so he won’t leave you’ advice.

Keep wallowing in your backward thinking ma!

12. When the food decides to burn itself a second time, so you start thinking of dating a chef.

At this point, that’s the only option!

13. How you pack cartons of Indomie when shopping, because it’s the only thing saving you from yourself.

I cannot come and die!

14. When you finally meet a fine boy, but he says he only can only marry a good cook like his mother, so you have to package like:

Hello overnight chef!

15. The pep talk you give yourself when you’re about to cook.

‘You will not burn this rice today.’

16. When you finally get the food done after much wahala, and someone says it’s not sweet.

My fren keep quiet!

17. How your in-laws look at you when you serve them croissants and coffee because you’re not trying to embarrass yourself.

Please ma, manage it like that o! If not stay in your house!

18. When you finally meet a bae who doesn’t mind your cooking skills and people are having headaches about it.

Haters gon hate!

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