1. When your mother forces you to join the youth choir.

Hay God!

2. Every Nigerian choir’s best friend:

That Yamaha keyboard.

3. When you come for choir practice on Saturday and nobody is around.

You will now wait forever.

4. When the choir leader tells you that you’re taking the solo on Sunday.

Just like that?

5. When the choir hasn’t sang Kirk Franklin in two Sundays.

Something must be wrong.

6. Nigerian choirs and “Jehovah you are the most high” X 1000

They must sing it.

7. When the person leading praise and worship starts singing an oyinbo song nobody knows.

Where do you think you are?

8. How the choir runs to the mic when the pastor suddenly starts singing during the message:

Can’t leave the pastor hanging.

9. When the choir spends half of choir practice arguing about the colour scheme for Sunday.

Na wa for una.

10. When the choir leader tells everyone to wear a colour you don’t have in your wardrobe.


11. How the congregation gingers the children choir whenever they come to perform:

You people don’t clap for us like that oh.

12. When a guest choir comes and sings better than your own choir.

You tried small.

13. When a new choir member tries to suggest a song.

Sit down, biko.

14. When that oversabi chorister starts singing louder than the soloist during ministration.

Calm down, ma.

15. That choir member that always forgets to cover her hair then starts looking for handkerchief before ministration.


16. When the choir leader makes you sing one line from a song for 20 minutes.

Can we round up though?

17. When the person leading the ministration catches the holy spirit.


18. When you hear “all choir members wait behind.”


19. You, whenever someone says “choir girls are the worst.”

I’ve heard you.


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