It’s almost like there is some training school all Nigerian parents go to that make them all talk and behave alike.
So, if you grew up with Nigerian parents, these sentences should ring a bell.
1. “…when you’re always pressing your phone.”
For when they were looking for something to blame your stupidity on.
2. “If I hear pim.”
For when your voice was the last thing they wanted to hear.
3. “My friend”
For when they were at their least friendly.
4. “You’re doing yourself.”
For when they left you to your stupidity.
5. “Clap for yourself.”
For when they wanted to highlight your stupidity.
6. “How many times have they visited you?”
For when you wanted to go visit a friend.
For when you asked for ANYTHING that wasn’t directly related to school.
8. “…read your book.”
For when they needed you to stop having fun.
9. “Sorry for yourself.”
For when they couldn’t care less about your apology.
10. “…do they have two heads?”
For when someone else did better than you.
11. “…how many times did I call your name?”
For when they were about to beat your ass.
12. “Put it on my head.”
For whenever you asked “where should I put it?”
13. “I don’t blame you.”
For when they totally blamed you.
14. “Do you think I’m your mate?”
For when you tried ‘adulting’ in their presence.
15. “Enter the TV.”
For when you’re too close to the TV.
16. “…you want to fight me.”
For whenever you tried to defend yourself or dodge a slap.
17. “Come and eat me.”
For when you told them you were hungry.
So, did we miss anything?