Africa hasn’t really invested in science and it shows. Scientists tend to solve problems they know have wide applications in their environments. Because of that, many problems peculiar to Africa have remained unsolved for decades…But imagine if a scientist like Einstein was African, he might work on a whole different set of problems like…
1. An early warning system for when your mum is about to slap you
A way of calculating atmospheric pressure around your mum’s hands and letting you know when it changes so that you know to duck.
2. A ‘love’ potion for African parents
Because African parents will never willingly say I’m sorry OR I love you.
3. A body odour neutraliser
Since everyone has refused to wear deodorant in this heat, we’d have a substance that neutralizes the poisonous body odour from others. Billions of African noses will be saved!
4. A ‘Kini’ translator (mind reading device)
Your Nigerian mother is convinced that you understand what “Bring me my kini” means. Because as far as she is concerned, she gave birth to a mind reader. This device will decode all your mother’s mannerisms to save your African ass from a beating.
5. A Yoruba boy warning system
Since Yoruba boys don’t actually have to be Yoruba boys. You gats be prepared!
6. An African accent identifier
Actor in Hollywood movie speaking in generic African accent:“My name is Babatunde Johnson.”African accent identifier: “This is NOT a Nigerian accent, I repeat, this is NOT a Nigerian accent. Replace actor immediately. Suggestion – David Oyelowo.”
7. Self-cleaning weaves
Because… haba..
8. ‘Two heads’ to help you pass in school
Dad: “Jolade that came first, does she have two heads?”
You:*Heads to Jumia.com to order an extra head ?*
9. Air conditioners that run on ‘I beta pass my neighbour’
Because this heat is demonic..
10. A 24-hour monitoring system for parents and girlfriends
Complete with a voice that says “remember the son of whom you are” everywhere you go.
11. An Oyinbo food Africanizer
For all those times you’re craving real pepper but you’re stuck with the 10th sandwich this week.
12. A makeup face printer
Instead of spending 1 hour to get a beat face, just use this machine to print your make up sharp sharp! Copy and paste.
13. Kenyan running gene transplant
Because Kenyans outrun everybody and other Africans will appreciate getting the Kenyan running gene transplant. Simple.
14. Petrol-to-your-door delivery service
Order online. Delivery within 24 hours depending on distance. Because somebody cannot come and die from queueing in this hot sun abeg!
15. Actual special effects for Nollywood action scenes
Hay God! We can’t continue like this. Look at how they destroyed the Ghanian folktale, Anansi The Spider!?
16. An allergen that makes African presidents allergic to overstaying their term
Because African Presidents who have spent more than 10 years in office are likely to never leave office…unless God or death or allergy… See Gaddafi, Mugabe etc
Now imagine a world where the next Einstein is African
Africa is transforming. Touch screen cardio pads that connect rural citizens to important care. Urine tests that detect malaria. Rapid diagnostic tests that detect Ebola. mPesa and other digital financial platforms that facilitate financial inclusion. Major solar energy projects in Morocco and Rwanda. The light rail in Ethiopia. The Square Kilometre Array, arguably set to be the world’s biggest telescope, in South Africa.
Join the Movement and call on African governments, leaders of civil society and the private sector and young people to support a new era in science, technology and innovation.
We’re looking for 1 million signatures. Pledge your signature.
In this letter, Camela writes to her sweet grandma, Mma Ange, who’s been her best friend for as long as she can remember. Camela wants her Mma to know she’s brought so much love, goodness and taste into her life.
Today’s Man Like subject is marketing executive and designer, @GoldieIyamu. He talks about why he chose to be independent from his dad, the loneliness that comes with setting boundaries and why masculinity doesn’t influence his style.
Nollywood is popping right now, but Yoruba movies have been giving us hot content for ages, and on a budget too. If you ever feel like you need to make one yourself, this guide is for you.
Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:
Colours are more than something the eyes see, they’re also a representation of behaviours and personalities. Take this quiz and we will tell you which colour best describes your personality. Let’s begin.
While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:
Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]
Are you a Nigerian Student? Are you in a relationship with a fellow Nigerian student? If your answer to these questions is “yes”, then definitely understand these struggles stated below The roommate that does not understand privacy You have been telling Cynthia about how bae is coming over for some private time since the beginning […]
Phillipine movies usually follow a pattern that has become obvious and annoying. Consider this list a documentation of that annoyance by once loyal fans.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.