15 Ways Nigerian Parents Are Completely Different From Parents Everywhere Else

February 16, 2016

1. They won’t have the sex talk with you, but will expect you to be a virgin when you marry.

Is it magic?

2. They say “well done” when they see you doing nonsense.

See how you don’t have sense.

3. They praise you in front of their friends, but insult you at home.

Na wa oh.

4. They say one thing with their mouth and the total opposite with their eyes.

I’m just confused.

5. They take you to their best friend’s house, then vex when you accept food.

Your own friend again?

6. They see you dodging a slap as a call to war.

“You want to kill me, abi?”

7. They don’t care about you passing in school, they care about you passing everyone else.

“Who came first?” “Do they have 2 heads?”

8. They’ll beat you and then vex when you start crying.

“I don’t want to see your crocodile tears.”

9. They don’t feel guilty when they “help you keep” your money and never return it.

It’s their own now.

10. Turning 21 doesn’t make you an adult to them, you have to bring a spouse first.

Better go and marry.

11. They don’t care that you’re now an “adult” they will still slap you when you do anyhow.

Life-changing slaps.

12. They don’t apologize, this is the closest you’ll get:

“Oya, stop crying.”

13. They love you, but you’ll probably never hear them say it.

They show it more than they say it.

14. They only know Medicine, Law, and Engineering when it’s time for you to fill JAMB form.

Anything else and you want to “spoil your life.”

15. They really really LOVE shouting.

Every small thing, shout and then shout some more. So, did we miss anything?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 28, 2022

If you’re a Nigerian student feeling discouraged from pursuing a tertiary education because you can’t afford tuition fees, we have good news for you! You’ll soon be able to get a student loan from the government with zero interest! How’s this possible? The Student Loan Bill provides public university students with financial assistance through the […]

November 28, 2022

Just hours to the planned November 26, 2022 resumption of operations on the Abuja-Kaduna railway corridor, the Federal Government announced a postponement. It’s not the first time the government has postponed a planned resumption since terrorists attacked the railway corridor in March. But more than the government’s erratic announcements and postponements, Nigerians remain worried about […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X