15 Things Anyone Who Has Ever Been To A Nigerian Airport Will Immediately Get

February 12, 2016

1. When they tell you to come 2 hours before your flight.

Am I the pilot?

2. When someone tries to help you carry your luggage by force.

Who sent you message?

3. When you enter and the smell of stockfish hits you.

Na wa. Don’t they sell stockfish where you people are going?

4. When every other check-in queue is short but your own is long.

See me see trouble.

5. When someone tries to cut in front of you on the line.

Sorry oh! The rest of us on the queue must look like moi-moi to you.

6. “I’m coming, please help me watch my bag.”

Do you know me from somewhere?

7. When they are weighing your bag and you start praying against extra luggage.

God please, I’m broke.

8. When an airport staff asks “anything for us?”

Are you my child?

9. When the announcer’s accent sounds like it’s from a completely different planet.

“Hartenshorn pliz, deezis a bordin hannounzmen for Earo Contractor flai 364 tew Laygorz…”

10. When you see someone that has overdressed.

Clap for yourself, na you get the whole airport.

11. When they tell you to take off your shoes.

The absolute worst.

12. When they start touching you anyhow on top security protocol.

Take it easy, abeg.

13. When they try to force you to check in your hand luggage.

It’s like your daddy is mad.

14. When they announce that your flight has been delayed.

Of course it has.

15. When you’re hungry and you hear the price of airport food.

What? Is this a joking sturvs? So, did we miss anything?
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