1. When the noise your car has been making only stops when you try to show your mechanic.

Is this juju?

2. When you give them your car with one problem and it comes back with three new ones.

Are you not the Devil?

3. How they actually fix the problem:

True story.

4. When they “help you repair” what hadn’t even spoilt yet.

“Oga, the thing don dey spoil already.”

5. When they realize you really don’t know anything about cars.

It’s all over. Don’t cry. Don’t beg.

6. Whenever they call the price of spare parts.

Shouldn’t I just buy another car like this?

7. When they swear that’s the price and tell you to go and “ask another mechanic.”

Aren’t all of you the same?

8. When you finally agree on the price and they tell you workmanship is separate.

You are a very wicked somebody.

9. When you give them your car with full tank and it comes back on reserve.

Are you not mad like this?

10. When you realize your car is actually with them more than it’s with you.

Please, I need my car.

11. When they still have the mind to ask “anything for boys?”

You no even fear.

12. When they bring the car back with a new sound and swear it’s normal.

Which kind of nonsense lie is that?

13. When they told you it would be ready in 2 days and 2 weeks have passed.

Is this life?

14. When you see him using the car to cruise with his babe.


15. When he returns the car and nothing is missing.

Wow. I’m impressed.


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