15 Lies All Nigerian Parents Tell Their Children

February 26, 2016


Nigerian parents are usually the best, but in some cases where they either wanted you to do something or stop complaining, these were 15 effective lies they used more than once.

And we fell for them every single time.

1. “Let me hold the money for you.”

na so

…and you never see it again.

2. “Just tell me the truth, I won’t beat you.”

if i hear

…and you leave in a wheelchair.

3. “I’ll buy it for you if you come first in class.”

this again

It never happens.

4. “I’ll buy it for you on your birthday.”

rolls eye cake

Birthday comes and goes. Still nothing.

5. “Don’t worry, we’ll soon leave.”

stop lying meme

An extra 5 hours go by.

6. “I’ll think about it.”

no you won't

…and it never come up again.

7. “You’ll grow into it.”

grow into it

You’re an adult now and it is still not you size.

8. “Go and wear your shoes, I’ll wait.”

DRIVES OFF

…they don’t.

9. “I don’t have a favorite child.”

0db3940c5fb928b3c2bf2c607f43afb6_720-1

…they do.

10. “I didn’t do all this boyfriend-girlfriend till I married.”

getting you

…but you’ve seen the pictures.

11. “I don’t have money.”

eye roll chilld

…but you’ve seen the wallet.

12. “I always came first in class.”

how drake

…but you’ve seen their results.

13. “My parents never got angry with me.”

shock face

…but that’s not what grandma said.

14. “Eat the beans so you’ll grow tall.”

2e06f0a16db1bedc91ec73188053ffe6_720

…but that’s not what your Science teacher said.

15. “Lend me, I’ll give you back.”

where is my money

…and it is gone forever.


We still love them, though.

 

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

December 13, 2019

Social media is a crazy street where everyone gets to showcase their talent and trigger their imaginations in the best (or worst) way possible while garnering followers. Sometimes this leads to new and useful innovations, other times it gets one asking WTF? Some of these WTF moments involve slangs and phrases no one understands, we […]

October 9, 2019

Going on a road trip is an adventure that requires a lot of packing and planning; the road can be annoying, and you’re going to be far away from the comforts of your home — better to be safe than sorry. The Jollof Road team are currently touring West African countries, having the best time […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

black woman with afro smiling
September 20, 2021

Hair lice are tiny, wingless insects that live in the hair of humans. They feed on tiny amounts of blood they get from the scalp. They spread easily from comb to comb. It is especially rampant among kids.  It’s not easy to get rid of hair lice but here are a few tips that have […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X