1. When you’ve not eaten breakfast and they’ve not opened by 9am

Is this how I die early in the morning?

2. When they serve you plenty rice and put a drop of stew

That’s an abomination in my village!

3. You, when they say plastic pack is N100

Let’s be lying this lie small small o!

4. When you now say you want to do eat-in and you see all the customers eating

Nawa! Na real wa!

5. You, when you want to buy plantain and they say it has finished

You say wetin?

6. And they say it with straight face!

No, but are they not cruel?

7. As if they are not aware that not having dodo is classified as crimes against humanity

Okay, it’s not a crime yet, but someone should add it ASAP!

8. When you give them N500 and they say they don’t have common N50 change

I’m not really understanding all this!

9. Your face, when they say you should leave the change

In this recession? You must be a joker.

10. When you realize that meat in amala section is more expensive than the meat in rice section, you’re like

Things are not adding up in this place o!

11. When you thought you bought jollof, but all you see is hair in your food

Is this life?