Nigerian weddings are the best from the small chops to the outfits to the music, what’s not to love? Well, these ten things.

You’ll spend 4 hours in Lagos traffic trying to get to a wedding, you get there and they tell you food has finished.

Better bring out the small chops if you don’t want me to show my true colours

When your primary school friend’s sister’s cousin brings a bill for Aso-Ebi for her wedding

Where do I know you from, please?

When you get a wedding invitation for yet another Saturday you wanted to spend in your bed

Must you people marry sef?

When your friend brings the Aso-Ebi bill and it’s almost the same amount as your monthly salary

Are you trying to send me to an early grave

When after buying 50k Aso-Ebi the person serving small chops tries to walk past you

Do you think I’m here to play?  Abi you thought the Aso-Ebi was free?

When they tell you that the wedding is strictly by invitation so you stroll in at 4 expecting to find a seat

It’s first come first serve my brother

How the bouncers block you if you make the mistake of coming without your invitation

Ahan it’s wedding now not Escape

When they tell you it’s a destination wedding after you’ve paid for the Aso-Ebi

Did I tell you I have money to go to Enugu, you want me to follow you to Seychelles??!!

When the couple tells you it’s just a small wedding so you keep it simple only for you to get to the wedding and it’s bigger than OLIC

So you people’s plan was to disgrace me

After buying Aso-Ebi and the souvenir doesn’t get to you

You people had better go and bring out my own bucket

While we are on the topic of weddings, do you think bride price is necessary?


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