1. When you arrive at the airport and the cold hits you. You run back and pack on jackets like Osuofia.

Osuofia in London. Who sent me message o?

2. When you get up to ask a question in class and your lecturer says he/she doesn’t understand your accent.

My friend will you get serious? Me sef don’t understand your own accent. Better adjust.

3. When that ignorant classmate asks if you have cars and houses in Africa.

Na me find trouble come your country.

4. When someone invites you to a house party and asks you to bring your own drinks.

I should bring my own drinks? What’s this one saying?

5. When you are invited for a birthday meal and the bill arrives and everyone is expected to pay for what they ‘consumed’.

Ehn? Is that how you people used to do here?

6. When you call your friends & relatives back home and they start asking you to buy their club jersey and send to them.

If to say I no call now, will you be asking all this?

7. When your girlfriend back home says she is losing patience and wants to start seeing someone else.

God please touch her heart.

8. When Masters comes to an end, no Oyibo wife, no accent, nothing but certificate to show.

Why me Lord? Those with small accent get two heads?

9. When the Masters programme ends and people start calling to ask when you are coming home.

10. When you return home and your mum or the cook still wants to dish out food with only one piece of meat to you.

Written by Zikoko Contributor ruud_bishop


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.