NYSC Diary DAY 5: Why Are People Sniffing Lizard Poop?

November 18, 2020

A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.

3:58 a.m. 

I’m back from the bathroom, I just took a bath. Or at least that’s what I’ll tell my roommates. In reality, I went in there fully dressed, washed my face and then stayed for a bit let time pass. 

But I’m back now and nobody can come and inspect my body to see if I really took a bath. Nobody is awake anyways and I cannot let cold kill me for my mother. I read my bible, pray and go back to sleep fully dressed. The point is to sleep until everyone is leaving the room so I can get maximum sleeping time. 

I am wise. 

5:50 a.m. 

We’re being addressed at the parade ground after our morning exercise drills. We’ve had different people come and speak to us. This woman says “We thank God for the gift of life”, and the guy beside me says “Gift of life? Gift of life when sleep dey worry person!”

I laugh, bring out my phone and type it out in my notes. It’s definitely going in today’s diary. 

6:22 a.m. 

The man from NDLEA is speaking to us about the ways people abuse drugs and he mentions that people sniff lizard poop as hard drugs. I am confused; Some people are seeing lizards in their compounds and going “Oh my precious one, I can’t just wait for excreta to come out of your body so I can get find it, harvest it, and get high.”

Another woman speaks about patriotism. She says leaving Nigeria is not the best thing to do because if you migrate, you’ll be called an alien or an immigrant. 

Me I know that I have never seen someone fall on the floor and die just because someone called them “immigrant”. 

You cannot confuse me ma. I know where I belong. 🇨🇦

7:07 a.m

I finally take an okay picture of the mountain in our view. 

Be afraid, nature photographers. I’m coming for your throne. 

7:33 a.m

I’m disappointed in myself. I wanted to try masa for the first time but I’m here eating terrible and overpriced rice and stew. It’s the woman’s fault, somehow. She didn’t attend to me fast enough so I had time to convince myself to try it another day. Also, a friend on camp was passing and she said she was going to eat rice or yam and I just took that as a cue to leave. Maybe tomorrow, I will try the masa. 

8:37 a.m. 

I go to submit my bank account opening form so that nobody will give me excuses at the end of the month. The woman is not around. Nobody should play with me and my money. 

As I pass a deserted looking room, I get the urge to look into it through a window. What could be here? I check. Gold. 

People can be so humble. Look at these kitchen workers walking around like they don’t possess something so precious. 

12:00 p.m 

I’m tired of these SAED lectures. I won’t write about them a lot because writing about them will stress me out mentally. At some point, I tried to go out and then they called me to come and hold banner for some guy. Ugh. There’s a picture of me sleeping but I will not share it. 

A hen attacks me. 

I’m leaving in 30 minutes, I decide. I have an OBS show by 2pm and I need to prepare at OBS *wink wink*

12:40 p.m.

OBS is a powerful name. All the soldiers and camp officials let me pass and now I’m here. I really don’t have any more preparations to do. I’m just here to sleep. 

3:45 p.m.

I’m done with OBS. Keke and I did a top ten Nigerian music count down. It felt like Ranked. I enjoyed doing it. At first, I thought it was not great but the woman in charge told me it was fantastic. Now I’m walking on the streets and people are hailing me and saying they enjoyed it. I feel like a god. 

Apparently, my Arsenal fan roommate/friend was going round telling people that it was me who was on the speakers. The music we played was also really good. 

I will not lie, I am happy. 

9:54 p.m.

I’m ready to sleep. The rest of the day went by as a sad blur. I’m physically tired. Maybe all the times where I fell down publicly and became an object of ridicule while trying to play football have added to this tiredness. I also really hate that they forced us to go and watch all the boring dramas. As I try to block myself out of the entire thing, my external earphone jack spoils. I need Airpods and I’m getting frustrated. 

I take an actual bath before so sleep. I’m not a pig.

Someone just told me they liked my broadcast again. 


In case you missed it:

NYSC Diary DAY 4: I Just Want To Sleep

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 7, 2020

NYSC is that one year of your life that you willingly dash to the government. And while it can be fun, it can also be a very scary thing too. A new environment, new places, new method of living, all for three weeks. This list details all the panic that comes when you receive your […]

April 29, 2020

The full meaning of SAED is Skill Acquisition and Entrepreneurship Development. It is an important part of the NYSC orientation activities. The government understands that there are a lot of unemployed youths, and that with each graduation, this number rises. Hence, the role of SAED as a means to equip youth with skills that will […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

More from NYSC Diary

December 1, 2020

4:38 a.m.  I’m fully awake, I’ve taken a bath and I’m dressed in my all white. My roommates are beginning to let their guards down because it’s the last day. Why are they not awake by this time. They will blow the bugle now and they will start rushing. Anyways, let me go back to […]

November 25, 2020

2:49 a.m.  I wake up and I know instantly. I’m sick. Okay, maybe “sick” is a tad dramatic. I have phlegm and it won’t stop until I use some medication. It happens to me every year during harmattan and it’s usually very frustrating. Ugh, now I will be spitting all day. Iyama.  6:36 a.m.  All […]


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.