NYSC Diary DAY 4: I Just Want To Sleep

November 17, 2020

A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.


Today was a good day. I know because I’m lying in bed completing this, and I’m happy. I don’t know what I’m happy about in particular. I’m just happy

4:38 a.m. 

I hear my name and then I realise someone has been calling it for some time. So I wake up. The first feeling I get is surprise. I’m surprised that someone actually has to wake me up. I must have been really tired, I think to myself. I immediately jump out of my bed and rush to fetch water. 

5:22 a.m. 

We’re on the parade ground and the weather is really cold but I’m not joining everyone to act like they’re cold. These people don’t know that God is preparing them for Canada. If you cannot chest Abuja harmattan cold, how can you chest Victoria cold or Ontario cold. 

God, look at me. I can chest the cold. I’m ready.  

We continue our drills and then do the final preparations for our swearing in ceremony. Our swearing in ceremony is in a few hours. This is what we’ve been waiting for. 

7:30 a.m. 

The days fly by so slowly here. I have only been here for about three days and it feels like I’ve been here since forever. Right now, as we prepare for the swearing in ceremony, I’m in the hostel store. My combat shoes didn’t come with laces. Is this a sign oh Lord? Do you want me to leave this camp?

I’m begging the woman who controls the store to give me new laces. She says I can live my life without laces. I can’t. I stay there for about thirty minutes begging her. She gives me laces. 

Life lesson: If you stay at someone’s gate and keep shouting for them to give you something, at some point, they’ll get tired and just give you. 

Who has Dangote’s address?

8:58 a.m.

We are on the parade grounds. I’m low-key psyched. I hate the fact that I’m getting my head into this thing for real. I came here to do “Aloof Big Boy Who Watches Everything and Everyone Condescendingly And Laughs At People Who Take It Seriously Because NYSC Is A Joke”, but here I am, first on the line, urging people to join up. 

Clown. 

11:11 a.m

We’re done with the swearing in ceremony. I’m looking at everyone with a new sense of respect now. We all did so well. I want to group hug all 850 of us and the soldiers too. We should all be friends.

I almost forgot! There was a tug of war at the parade. Two teams, one with big bodied women, and another with small bodied men. The big bodied women represented the minister and when they won, the man representing them called one of them and gave them his 17-karat gold wrist watch. 

Now I want to be a big bodied woman. 

Back to real life though, I’m dying of pain. I’m about 79% sure that when I take off these shoes, the aroma of grilled meat will attract everyone to me. My geeks are burning. These shows were sent by the devil to give a preview of hell. Hell, hell isn’t as hot as the insides of those shoes was. 

2:43 p.m.

I wake up and force myself to leave the hostel. They’ll call us again by 4pm to come and something. I have three things to do. Eat, so that I will not die, charge my power bank, and submit my day’s recap to OBS to see if they’ll accept me as a good enough writer. I leave hostel and get lunch from mami market. Fries and fried eggs. N500. Overpriced. I forget to take pictures. I’m really hungry. 

But who sent me? I could have bought garri and poured it inside water. Shebi it’s me that wants to have coconut head and eat fries? Well I realise that I have just N500 left in my existence. 

God please, now would be a good time for this bicycle allowance. Help me. 

4:00 p.m.

I’ve just finished recording a sports show on OBS. Me, starboy. The entire camp is hearing my voice. And I didn’t even plan it. 

Everyone in OBS is cool and chill. Even our coordinator is really chill. This was probably my best moment in camp so far. I made videos of myself speaking. If anyone ever tells me that Mass Communication degree is useless, I’ll show them this. 

As I head to the parade ground, I wonder what we’re going to be doing seeing as we already sworn in. 

6:30 p.m

We learnt new marching drills and I absolutely enjoyed them. Oluwa wetin dey occur??

A whole lot of the drills came naturally to me because we did all of that stuff in Junior Secondary school. I’m wondering, as I walk back to my hotel, “All these people that don’t know anything about marching, didnt they go to secondary school?”

8:44 p.m.

I just finished frog jumps because I came out of the hostel late. I won’t lie, I’m getting really tired now. Is it by force to watch these cringy dramas? I just want to sleep.

9:48 p.m.

I forget to take a picture of my food again. I’m really tired. 


In case you missed it:

NYSC Diary DAY 3: “NYSC Destroyed My Relationship”


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 27, 2020

NYSC CDS is another opportunity for corpers to gather together and display the full range of their behaviour. We made a list of the types of people you’ll find there. Which one have you come across? More importantly, which one are you? 1. Those who came to slay. Of course they don’t dress like this. […]

November 22, 2019

5:36 AM Let me tell you, the day after the inter-platoon drill is when everybody’s morale finally goes downhill. Why? Well, when you have done the main thing for which you have been practicing for days, what else remains? What else but to think about going home? My first thought when I wake up is, […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 3, 2020

Don’t let their cuteness deceive you; kids are crackheads. They’ll do the weirdest shit and then when you catch them, they’ll start acting like they’ve been framed. If you want to save yourself a lot of cleaning and embarrassment, keep these seven things away from your kids. 1. Powder Children see powder and immediately think […]

December 3, 2020

On Sunday, November 30th, 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the sad news that over 43 rice farmers in communities near Borno State, Nigeria, had been killed by Boko Haram insurgents. While the government has claimed that Boko Haram has been “technically defeated”, the group continues to carry out terrorist attacks, especially in the northeastern […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

More from NYSC Diary

December 1, 2020

4:38 a.m.  I’m fully awake, I’ve taken a bath and I’m dressed in my all white. My roommates are beginning to let their guards down because it’s the last day. Why are they not awake by this time. They will blow the bugle now and they will start rushing. Anyways, let me go back to […]

November 25, 2020

2:49 a.m.  I wake up and I know instantly. I’m sick. Okay, maybe “sick” is a tad dramatic. I have phlegm and it won’t stop until I use some medication. It happens to me every year during harmattan and it’s usually very frustrating. Ugh, now I will be spitting all day. Iyama.  6:36 a.m.  All […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X