NYSC Diary DAY 11: 6 Things That Will Wreck You In Mami Market

November 24, 2020

A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.


9:42 a.m. 

This is the first time today I don’t feel like a robot. They’re teaching us Hausa at SAED. I’m really interested in learning Hausa. I bring out my phone and continue taking notes. I speak something I think I’ve learned to a Hausa speaking person sitting beside me and he just fully bursts into laughter. 

I’ve marked his face. 

One day, when I’ve perfected my Hausa, I will find him and speak it to him so much that he will genuinely apologise for laughing at me ten years ago. 

2:42 p.m. 

As usual, I am woken up because my roommates are making noise. I join them in their conversation. We’re talking about traffic when one of them starts complaining that sometimes Abuja traffic is bad. That he remembers one time when he spent one hour and thirty minutes in traffic and he wanted to lose his mind. 

Ha ha ha. One hour thirty minutes in Lagos is the time you use to drive out of your street sir. Please let it go. 

4:00 p.m.

I HAVE COLLECTED MY N3200. Mami Market, meet David Odunlami. I already have a list of some of the stuff I want to buy but let me not lie, it’s actually just N3200. Because of my experience in Mami Market, I already know some of the things I cannot buy because the money will finish before I can mention 

1. Noodles: A plate of three strands of noodles and small fried egg is N500. Noodles that I can go and loot from palliative warehouse? No, thanks. 

2. Soda: Every bottle of soda here is sold at twice the price. I have kuku now taken a liking to kunu. Healthy living as I save my money.

3. Fruits: The guy selling fruits here doesn’t know that we have only seven days left and that on the seventh day, we will leave and he will remain here with his fruits. The wicked cannot rule forever. 

4. Fried eggs: How can two fried eggs be N300. POLICE!

5. Face masks: You know that surgical face mask? Here it’s N200. Why?

6. Slim fitting: Slim fitting that is N200 outside camp? Please hold your N1500 as you’re going to slim fit your clothes, thanks.

Maybe I will just buy chicken suya and eat it with french fries. 

7. Water

8:23 p.m.

I was on my own, arranging gadgets for the talent show when these people came to tell me I was the DJ for the night. Now I’m sitting on the stage, getting overwhelmed my people’s requests. I’m definitely playing more recent music than any other DJ has. People have been complaining. Today, they’re not. They’re vibing. They’re telling me I’m

doing a great job. They think it’s me. They don’t know that I’m just using a playlist I found on Deezer. 

Haq Haq Haq. 

10:24 p.m.

I just finished eating dinner. N500 suya and garri. Maybe tomorrow is the day I will shut down Mami. Today, I sleep.


In case you missed it:

NYSC Diary Day 10 – A Mother Hen Showed Me Pepper


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

November 10, 2019

5:20 AM The sound of people wake me: “Dry clean your clothes, dry clean your clothes.” When I sit up to look, I see that they are men and young boys carrying white plastic bags filled with clothes to be dry cleaned. I fall back into bed and close my eyes. I am tired. I […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

January 21, 2021

It is an open secret that the music industry especially in Nigeria is a boys club. When you take a look at both the veteran and emerging acts who are making waves within and outside the country, it is overwhelmingly male. To assume it is so because women artists aren’t making good enough music or […]

Recommended Quizzes

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

More from NYSC Diary

December 1, 2020

4:38 a.m.  I’m fully awake, I’ve taken a bath and I’m dressed in my all white. My roommates are beginning to let their guards down because it’s the last day. Why are they not awake by this time. They will blow the bugle now and they will start rushing. Anyways, let me go back to […]

November 25, 2020

2:49 a.m.  I wake up and I know instantly. I’m sick. Okay, maybe “sick” is a tad dramatic. I have phlegm and it won’t stop until I use some medication. It happens to me every year during harmattan and it’s usually very frustrating. Ugh, now I will be spitting all day. Iyama.  6:36 a.m.  All […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X