NYSC Diary DAY 11: 6 Things That Will Wreck You In Mami Market

November 24, 2020

A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.

A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.

9:42 a.m. 

This is the first time today I don’t feel like a robot. They’re teaching us Hausa at SAED. I’m really interested in learning Hausa. I bring out my phone and continue taking notes. I speak something I think I’ve learned to a Hausa speaking person sitting beside me and he just fully bursts into laughter. 

I’ve marked his face. 

One day, when I’ve perfected my Hausa, I will find him and speak it to him so much that he will genuinely apologise for laughing at me ten years ago. 

2:42 p.m. 

As usual, I am woken up because my roommates are making noise. I join them in their conversation. We’re talking about traffic when one of them starts complaining that sometimes Abuja traffic is bad. That he remembers one time when he spent one hour and thirty minutes in traffic and he wanted to lose his mind. 

Ha ha ha. One hour thirty minutes in Lagos is the time you use to drive out of your street sir. Please let it go. 

4:00 p.m.

I HAVE COLLECTED MY N3200. Mami Market, meet David Odunlami. I already have a list of some of the stuff I want to buy but let me not lie, it’s actually just N3200. Because of my experience in Mami Market, I already know some of the things I cannot buy because the money will finish before I can mention 

1. Noodles: A plate of three strands of noodles and small fried egg is N500. Noodles that I can go and loot from palliative warehouse? No, thanks. 

2. Soda: Every bottle of soda here is sold at twice the price. I have kuku now taken a liking to kunu. Healthy living as I save my money.

3. Fruits: The guy selling fruits here doesn’t know that we have only seven days left and that on the seventh day, we will leave and he will remain here with his fruits. The wicked cannot rule forever. 

4. Fried eggs: How can two fried eggs be N300. POLICE!

5. Face masks: You know that surgical face mask? Here it’s N200. Why?

6. Slim fitting: Slim fitting that is N200 outside camp? Please hold your N1500 as you’re going to slim fit your clothes, thanks.

Maybe I will just buy chicken suya and eat it with french fries. 

7. Water

8:23 p.m.

I was on my own, arranging gadgets for the talent show when these people came to tell me I was the DJ for the night. Now I’m sitting on the stage, getting overwhelmed my people’s requests. I’m definitely playing more recent music than any other DJ has. People have been complaining. Today, they’re not. They’re vibing. They’re telling me I’m

doing a great job. They think it’s me. They don’t know that I’m just using a playlist I found on Deezer. 

Haq Haq Haq. 

10:24 p.m.

I just finished eating dinner. N500 suya and garri. Maybe tomorrow is the day I will shut down Mami. Today, I sleep.

In case you missed it:

NYSC Diary Day 10 – A Mother Hen Showed Me Pepper

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